for losing weight quietly and now being criticised for it?

[whataboutyouu]

I’ve lost a bit of weight recently, and honestly, I’m feeling good about it. I didn’t announce it to anyone because I’ve failed before and didn’t want to deal with the pressure or attention. I just quietly cleaned up my diet and started strength training. Something I’ve been working on consistently, without talking about it to anyone. This time, I’ve actually stuck to it, and I’ve been feeling stronger, healthier, and more confident.

But now that people are noticing, they’ve started to comment. The weird thing is, it’s not just a casual "Oh, you look good!" Instead, they’re saying things like "You’ve lost too much" or "Don’t lose any more," and asking if I’m on Mounjaro. I didn’t go to extremes, just focused on my health in a way that feels sustainable to me. I am now a healthy BMI.

AIBU for being upset by their comments or should I just brush it off?

I've come to realise that an awful lot of people don't want fat people to lose weight. Not everyone, but a lot of people. Nothing else can explain the attitude towards weight loss injections. They make some people (with no apparent skin in the game) inexplicably angry.

The people who despise fat people don't actually want them to lose weight. And they certainly don't want them to be helped to lose weight. They want them to stay fat so they'll have someone to despise.

I've had the same sort of thing. After my heart attack last year I changed a few things re diet and lifestyle and have lost nearly 2 stones (Gone from 11.5 to 9.10)., and all I have received is negative comments...."you need your arse back to fill those jeans" (said by a woman btw), being the latest.

Brush it off. You wanted to lose weight and you have. Everyone who loses weight gets people telling them they've lost too much as people are used to larger bodies and used to seeing you with one so struggle to adjust. The only time to be worried is if you BMI is very low, you are obsessing about your fpod and excercise and people you trust and who care for you are expressing concern, as it is if course possible to go too far with weight loss.

Sounds like jealousy. Sorry you have had nasty comments.

When I lost weight, I was told I looked “scrawny”. So insulting when I really wasn’t. I was probably bmi of 24 after having been about 27/28.
Other people said I looked great so I ignored the stupid comment.

Pure rudeness.
I too have massively cleaned up my diet and going 90% sugar free, bar fruit, barely any gluten bar a little sourdough bread.
Walnuts, almonds, blueberries and dates for snacking, kiwi's or oranges.
Eggs and cheese, mackeral or beans on sourdough.
Huge reduction in alcohol.
I am not hungry at all and 25 lbs has been lost.
I feel great and my autoimmune and arthritis issues have dramatically decreased which started it.
If I hear anything negative I will not tolerated it.
I cannot stand people who offer unasked for opinions on shit that is fxxk all to do with them.

"Did you mean to be so bloody rude?" is my practiced response.
Try it.

Well done on shifting the weight it is difficult to begin with and slow.
But payback is huge in pain so I have found it easy.

I would say sorry I didn't realise that what I did was any of your fucking business. do you know what would be good if you keep your unsolicited opinion to yourself Would you like me to comment on your appearance?
I've lost quite a lot of weight and and no one apart from people who did know I was trying have said anything (and that was only to ask things like how I had found it and what sort of things I was enjoying eating } which is how it should be. I have no problem being abrupt with people who I find rude though

Well done OP! Did you join a gym for the strength training?

I have done it myself at home with weights and also I also go hiking with a very heavy backpack called rucking.

You’re not being unreasonable but I do think you should brush it off, people don’t like change.

well done, keep it up.

Well i’m impressed people have noticed OP. I have done similar, my BMI was just in the overweight category and I’ve lost over a stone, bmi now 23ish I think and not one fucker has noticed!

That's annoying. You deserve compliments. Well done you!!!

Guarenteed you the exact same people would NOT brush it off back if you said they were looking a bit to hefty.

So why are we being good polite little girls to them?

It’s normally jealously. They don’t want you to look better than them!!

I lost 3 stone over the course of a year. One stone without and 2 with Mounjaro. There is A LOT of judgement with the latter! I honestly couldn’t care less. Just keep in mind that misery loves company and sometimes the people you’d expect to pat you on the back will turnaround and stab you in it instead. If they’re overweight, your losing weight only highlights their own shortcomings. Rather than being incentivised to do something about it too, they’d rather resist change, convincing themselves that the problem lies with you rather than them.

Congratulations!

I got three types of responses

'they ignored it and only acknowledged if I said something
*they were jealous and told me so
*they were rude about it eg they could 'see it' in my face and I'd look better when I put it back on. I assume they were saying I looked like shit

All I'd done was return to my previous and fairly stable weight. Not particularly news worthy. Poor diet and alcohol caused it. Taking better care and the 5:2 diet fixed it.

I went from 10s 8lb to 9s. Hardly slimmer of the year, not that dramatic. I was still within the heathy range for my height. I just couldn't fit into many of my clothes anymore. I never expected it to bother people but it did. Not one person said anything nice.

You lose weight the way you gain it. Pound by pound. They never care when it's going on but they hate when it comes back off.

Holy shit. That's unbelievable.

You had a heart attack. They're so blinded by jealousy they can't even deal with you taking better care of your health. WTAF?

When they say ''you need your arse back'', they mean they need it back to feel better. Your best response to that is to say that actually you just need smaller jeans and do they fancy a girly shopping day? 😁

I'd say 'Please don't comment on other people's weight or looks. It's rude and not appreciated'.

Then change the subject. If they do it again shout 'Fuck off YOU TWAT' in their face!

About 15 years ago, the same thing happened to me . I was also a healthy BMI but BMI is only a rough guide and if you're muscular iit is not necessarily healthy to be in the heathy BMI range. Anyway, my swimming instructor wouldn't let me in her lesson until I put on some weight. She was right . I looked gaunt but it took me a long time to accept it.

I just looked pointedly at her arse and said "not all arses suit tight jeans". It was 6.30 am and I no longer drink coffee so may have been a bit, shall we say, tetchy 😅

Love it!

Good for you ❤

Ignore them. None of their business.

They're jealous you're succeeding where they've failed or haven't bothered.

You're getting slimmer, fitter, stronger, healthier, better looking - and they're not. You've rattled them. Their problem.

Don't discuss it, just do what you need.

'Doctor's orders' is a good shutting-down response.