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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Men who have been uni, when do you expect them to have first child?

121 replies

MyPlumKoala · 08/08/2025 20:18

If you know men around their mid 20’s, how many years realistically would you say they are from having their first child? My DS is that age, single and has never lived away from home apart from when he was at uni.

The thought of him having a child even 5 years from now, seems not likely. I was married and had DS by the age of 28.

I’m not bothered if DS doesn’t have children, it’s his choice and his life. Just wondered how many men have kids by the age of 30 if they have been to uni and have a degree?

OP posts:
Doitrightnow · 08/08/2025 22:06

The majority of people I know in my graduate heavy city (men and women) don't have children until around 30-35.

RikkeOfTheLongEye · 08/08/2025 22:06

I'm mid-30s and my friends from uni days are all the same age or a little older than me. Of the blokes, most are all still childless - whether in committed relationships or not. Those who do have kids waited until their 30s.

TheNightingalesStarling · 08/08/2025 22:09

Deoends when he meets the right woman.. or not the right woman but someone who is needs to coparent with!

DH was 27 when our eldest was born... 5 years after he graduated. He was 21 when we met (in his final year)
His brother was still at university when his eldest was born (not in relationship with the mother).

LaughingCat · 08/08/2025 22:16

MyPlumKoala · 08/08/2025 20:18

If you know men around their mid 20’s, how many years realistically would you say they are from having their first child? My DS is that age, single and has never lived away from home apart from when he was at uni.

The thought of him having a child even 5 years from now, seems not likely. I was married and had DS by the age of 28.

I’m not bothered if DS doesn’t have children, it’s his choice and his life. Just wondered how many men have kids by the age of 30 if they have been to uni and have a degree?

Appreciate you’re saying you’re not pressuring him to have them but I don’t really see what uni has to do with it. My bro went to uni and had his first at 34, my DH went to uni and will be 45 when we have our first. One of my closest friends went to uni and had his first when he was 28. One of my exes went to uni and had his first at 29 and another didn’t go to uni and had his first at 32. My BIL didn’t go to uni and had his first at 35. So basically…super confused why you think uni has anything to do with it.

Ohhilois · 08/08/2025 22:19

Ex h was 24 and doing his PHD when ds was born (we married when when he was 22 and I was 21).

That baby is now 23 and has never had a serious relationship.

LavenderBlue19 · 08/08/2025 22:21

I can't think of any men I know who went to uni and had a baby before 30. Oh hang on, one! But they got together in the first few weeks of uni so had already been together three years when they graduated, and had a baby a couple of years after that.

Definitely rare though.

leaningtowerofchampions · 08/08/2025 22:24

My husband graduated from his Masters degree at age 28, he already had his undergrad at that point. We had our first child a year after so age 29. We also only met 2 months before he graduated from the Masters so it all moved very quickly for us. 16 years later we are still very much in love, parents to two teenagers and been married 12 years. Husband has a good career in the field he studied and I do too. Everyone’s timeline is different but as long as your son is happy and enjoying his life that’s the important thing.

waitingforpost · 08/08/2025 22:26

Myself & friends were early to mid 30s

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 08/08/2025 22:28

Early to mid thirties. Better to get a stable financial situation and house first.

Toomanywaterbottles · 08/08/2025 22:29

My DH was 35 when we had our first and 37 for our second.

Carrotsandgrapes · 08/08/2025 22:31

Going to uni/some kind of higher education/training makes a difference because it delays the start of your career by 3 or 4 years. And most people don't want to start a family until they've established a bit of a career, have some savings and stability etc

waitingforpost · 08/08/2025 22:32

I want my DC to also have dc early 30s, I'm scared I will miss out on gc otherwise! 😆

HouseHangover · 08/08/2025 22:34

Both me and DH went to uni. Also both did an extra year after for professional qualifications. We got together at 21 (knew each other before then though for many years), moved in together at 23 to rent, bought small house 24, married 25, first child 27, second 32.

We are now in mid 30s.
lot of my close friends followed same timelines.

Incognitoburrito88 · 08/08/2025 22:34

My husband was 32 and I was 28 - we were the first in our friend group to have kids.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 08/08/2025 22:36

We both went to university. I was quite young in my friendship group and had our first at 29, having got married at 28. DH is older, so was 36 when #1 was born.

SheSpeaks · 08/08/2025 22:37

I had children and then went to uni and got a degree after - I am not a man but I know 2 men who also did this.

minipie · 08/08/2025 22:55

DH and I met age 20 at uni and had our first child age 32. Neither of us would’ve wanted children before 30 at the earliest. DH would probably have waited a few more years ideally…

sansou · 08/08/2025 23:09

DH & I met at uni in my first term! He's 2 yrs older and we had DC when he was 34 & 37.

OakAshRowan · 08/08/2025 23:49

"... the most lovely people marry each other early and have children before 30."

Honestly the shit people spout on here sometimes! Can't say I've ever noticed a correlation between a person's loveliness and the age they have their first child! I was 34 so must be pretty horrible in @tarheelbaby's world. Not as bad as my friend who was 41 though. As for people who never marry or have kids... they must be just awful!

DelphiniumBlue · 08/08/2025 23:53

DS is 32, and none of his uni friends have DC, although a couple got married in the last 2 years.
Only one of his school friends have had a baby, and that was quite recently.
His female cousin just had a baby at 25, her DP is about 30, uni educated.

HeyThereDelila · 09/08/2025 00:05

What a weird question. It depends on whether they have a stable relationship, a home, their job, career success, money behind them.

There’s no set rules. Mid 30s+ is usual for university educated professionals.

Lavender115 · 09/08/2025 00:54

Two of DH’s close friends went to uni and never married and/or had kids.

I actually know more childfree people than those with children (we are all in our 40s).

I know this is not a question asking about women’s uni status and children but here it is. I finished uni a long time ago and had my first child at 40. DH did not go to uni. My sister is now late 40s and went to uni and never got married or had a child.

All of those not settled down (DH’s friends and my sister) seem happy with their lives. I was opting to be childfree for a long time because it was just the environment I was in. I personally am glad I have DC, however it is not the same for everyone of course.

cherish123 · 09/08/2025 01:10

StMarie4me · 08/08/2025 20:20

What?
What’s Uni got to do with it?

Because they would be 22+ when they start a career.

DrPrunesqualer · 09/08/2025 01:20

AlastheDaffodils · 08/08/2025 20:25

Statistically people who go to university have children later than people who don’t.

I’ve noticed the average amongst my Uni friends was 7 years after completion
We Have to do a bachelors and masters and professional exams after though. So the average to qualify is 7 years.

Then 7 years after that people start families.
So most had kids mid 30s. If at all thst is

DashboardConfession · 09/08/2025 01:33

I met DH at uni. We were the first of our uni friends to have a baby - I was 34 and he was 33.

We do have friends who went to uni and had babies in their 20s though because the wife was one of four and wanted to get cracking with the big family.