To choose “poor” state primary over amazing prep?

[Bedsleet]

My children are registered at a well-regarded local prep school. My husband was privately educated and signed them up at birth, because it’s apparently the done thing. I have always presumed we would send them to state school, and sort of viewed this as a back up plan.

Our closest primaries are all a bit of a mixed bag. Two are Ofsted “good” and the closest (which would probably have been our top choice) has just gone from a very old “outstanding” to a mix of “inadequate” and “requires improvement”. We would, especially now, likely be allocated this school.

Prep is expensive. State is free. But will it be a disaster at a “failed” school? Don’t know how much attention to pay to the Ofsted as parents seem to think it’s OK. We can afford prep but it would impact on savings and holidays. I don’t know whether I’m being naive in hoping my children would be fine in the state option, or whether I ought to buy into the private option given that it’s there.

WWYD? Especially keen to hear from parents of primary age kids, or who have made a similar call. Appreciate am fortunate to have these options.

YANBU - state
YABU - prep

Yeah. I was being facetious. Sorry.

Actually I don’t think it’s going on any of these things either.

It’s going on things like this - or at least it is now

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14477855/amp/Labour-ministers-taxpayer-2million-travel-bill.html

£50,000 bar tab

There’s a certain amount of unfair comparisons on this thread. My DD2 attended a top prep. Tatler etc. She didn’t get bespoke maths for her. They were set though and the brightest were undoubtedly pushed as the girls regularly got scholarships to very competitive senior schools. However, as a former governor of a state primary school, I can honestly say the very bright ones were well taught there too. Obviously all MN dc are geniuses, but I know the brightest were given extension work in maths and it was very challenging work within a topic. Schools need very good teachers to do that though.

The best preps have a good variety of sport and facilities. Art, music and drama are well catered for. They are after sport, music, drama art scholarships! Also all rounder scholarships. Therefore the best schools do a lot more than just academics.

Ofsted are rating 5 areas so which 2 are inadequate and RI? I do actually think Ofsted know the time of day and shouldn’t be ignored. Neither can a parent visiting ever recognise poor teaching! Or good teaching for that matter? Also many parents judge a school on YR, not the further 6 years. Ofsted look at school data as well as other aspects of the school and it’s not a one dimensional report.

Therefore: do you think the state school will improve? How will it do that? Parents rarely know the progress being made so they will have to wait for ofsted. Is the private a brilliant school? Does it have a great track record of destination schools or do dc end up at the local comp? What does it do that’s impressive? You know your child. Where would they thrive? The state should be going all out to improve but if be slow progress!

I mean sure, in an ideal world I totally agree that school, especially primary school, should be about producing well rounded, decent kids and academics should be a second thought. But as the teacher upthread said, academic predictions start from year R and are impossible to escape. Achievement in school is important (rightly or wrongly) and I think it’s disingenuous to imply not wanting your kid to go to a school that has lots of behavioural or poor teaching issues is just middle class folk trying to get a leg up or rich people trying to get that bit of extra cash. The difference a school makes does affect attainment, I see it in my own, not particularly well off northern town.

Then there’s Lammy and his cervix and his million pound private jets and taxis

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2025/04/03/david-lammy-private-jets-air-travel-bill-million-pounds/

Do you love the prep?

We sent DD to private from the start because we absolutely loved the school and couldn't imagine anywhere better for her. She's had the most incredible primary education. When it came to DS, we didn't love the boys' school (different school, DD's is all girls) so we sent him state. It was great for two years, then it turned into a shit show, and now he's moving to the private that we didn't love but can now see all the benefits of.

We've saved a lot of money by not sending him there for three years but the long term impact remains to be seen. He had two years of good education in state and one year of what I would call inadequate education. I have no idea what your local state is like but I would not put a child into the year DS just had.

Is this in primary? Maybe I am being really naive to think it wouldn’t have as much of an impact until secondary.

The prep is still very close - maybe 5 minutes further to walk - but I think the intake is from a much wider area.

I would be extremely reluctant to a school providing inadequate education. That said I would carefully review the posted report to better understand the context of the comments and understand what the school is doing about it. Are you applying this autumn? You have nothing to lose in initially applying for state and deciding when places give.

That doesn’t necessarily mean prep is the answer. I would look carefully at it and think about whether worth the money. Also investigate whether it would be realistic to get the children later if you started at primary and went badly. You can also look at whether there are other primary options you might be able to get into even if a drive away - with lower birth rates there may be more options than a decade ago.

Thank you for this. I will read it.

Basically, I still favour the state school on the basis that it’s in a “nice” area and how bad can it really be?! But this thread is making me question that.

I thought it would probably be OK with plenty of parental input. Husband disagrees.

We pulled our son out of a private prep in reception as we really didnt like it.
We then moved and the local primary, which was at the time 'needs improvement'.
The people at the state, as in other families were a real mixed bag of professionals through to very poor families, drs, police, retail workers all sorts. I made a few good friends. Not everyone was my kind of person but thats normal. The kids were lovely, bar a few issues, but nothing overly concerning or you wouldnt get in any large group of kids.
The teaching was great, with a school that needs improvement they get extra funding and support so there were lots of teaching and support staff.
I don't think at primary they can learn much more than the curriculum. If you have a bright child or a child that is into a particular sport or musical instrument you can pay for after school activities or tutoring.
Private prep schools vary massively in their offering and I really think only a handful are actually delivering something worth their fees.
In state they have several teaching assistants to each class, my sons class is a class of 30 but they have 2 actual teachers and 3 teaching assistants that go between the classes when needed.

Can you get the details of the report? Sometimes Ofsted will give inadequate for very narrow things like there being insufficient of something quite particular. However if it's "inadequate" across the board, then I'd only send my child there if I had to.

93% of kids are state educated. Yours will be fine. Doesn’t sound like you can comfortably afford prep.

There are primary schools and primary schools.

If you have bright kids who read, and they’re in a cohort of aspirational parents in a dinky church school where everyone in the village knows each other and meets at the cricket club on Sunday afternoons for dog walks and drinks, and the topic of conversations are house prices, gymkhanas and second homes, it’ll probably be as good as private.

At the end of the day, there is only so much knowledge you can stuff into a primary age child. Their literacy, numeracy and cultural capital are the main aims. I’d save the money and choose private for where it matters - qualifications.

I would look around both schools. I was way off sending my kids to state school because I heard so many bad things, but I looked around my local state primary and it was love at first sight. It was rated "Good" but was pretty much my ideal school, with amazing, passionate staff who were encouraged to have a life outside school and to bring those interests back into the classroom, a hugely diverse group of children, and a real sense of community.

Thank you. I feel similarly about private and am finding it hard to work out if I’m being an inverse snob to the detriment of my children. I’m glad to hear state primary worked out so well for you and your child though!

I think at primary school it isn’t really a big issue. You need you child to come out being able to read, write and do maths/English at the correct level. You want you kids to make nice friends and be happy there. You can’t really get there from an ofsted rating as your child’s ability/personality play such a big part. The best thing to do is talk to parents of children at the local school to find out what they think.
having done state primary and private secondary the only downside (ok not quite the only downside- the sports provision at the state primary was terrible) was that you have to prep your children for the 11 plus without any help from the school and it is hard work and you effectively have to teach the whole of the year 6 curriculum in term 1.

but ultimately there isn’t much value add at primary level so definitely actively explore your state options and look to see leavers destinations

Secondary. The problem in primary is if you have the violent disruption your child can end up anxious.

Agree with @Drfosters post. Ability and personality play a huge role. DS personality is far better suited to the state school and he is happier socially. Also agree, in our experience, the sport provision is pretty poor but as DS isn't esp sporty that doesn't matter to him. It will matter more to DD but that's where clubs come in. There is no perfect answer, its swings and roundabouts and really depends on the child.

For us community and the social aspects outweigh the undisputed advantages of our preps. I will also add that we do not miss paying the fees. As they have gone up each year, we have asked ourselves, are we getting nearly £40k worth of value? They are good but not that good!

The issue of a child starting on a trajectory and a state primary school just being happy on that track is a real one. I've seen it as a school governor and it was a problem for one of my DDs. She's a twice exceptional child - she'd be recorded as G&T if that was still a thing, but also has SEN. The two were cancelling out to make a mediocre looking child and her state primary was happy with her as she was "making expected progress". Her independent primary school does an IQ type test on all children, so their expectations of her are much higher.

Private prep. No question.

I've been teaching in state primary for well over a decade, and the decline in the last few years (mainly due to lack of funding and behavior) has been drastic. Our older children are already at independent schools for secondary, but we're moving our youngest to private to finish primary too.

The data around attainment gaps is a really small part of the whole picture.

I have one of those "would do well anywhere" children. I am sure her gcse grades would be the similar at our local comp as at her independent secondary.

But she hates sitting through the poor behaviour of her peers (she knows that from primary school), it would drive her crazy. Our local comp, the only one she'd get a place at, was ofsted rated inadequate for behaviour.

According to her local friends, our local comp doesn't have any specialist maths teachers left. Yes, it would have been cheaper to just get her a maths tutor, but why would I expect her to sit through poorly taught lessons and then have to spend more time covering what she should have done in school?

She's also doing 3 GCSEs that aren't available at our local comp and a range of extra curricular activities that aren't available out of school in our area.

So even if there wasn't an attainment gap, I'd pick her independent school every time, for a much more enjoyable 7 years.

If you can afford it, I’d go private in a heartbeat with that inspection report. I’ve been in an outstanding state school that has had its problems and am moving one of my children due to poor behaviour and disruption. This is a school that normally has top 10% results in sats. Other child’s experience much better and what you’d expect from the school normally. I’d be very way of a school with so many issues flagged by Ofsted. While you can take some things with a pinch of salt, that sounds pretty damming.

We went for private pre prep and it was a disaster for my ND child. Rigid approach, very formal very fast, no tolerance of difference. But there’s a different pre prep locally which might have been a better fit. We are finding state much more tolerant of and willing to support ND issues.

Prep wins by a mile in my eyes. Invest in your child - yes it’s expensive but it was certainly worth it for us. The early years are critical building blocks in a child’s education, you need to get it right and they need to be happy in their environment. DD absolutely thrived in every way and achieved entry into one of the most competitive grammar schools in the UK.

• Small class sizes - more personalised teaching and better pastoral support. Brilliant SEN provision if a child needed it.
• Access to green space - acres of fields + forest for the kids to learn and play in
• Top sporting facilities - tennis, netball, hockey, cricket, athletics, rugby, swimming & football all on offer. The kids were encouraged to give everything a go as part of PE + games. Lots of opportunity to join teams and compete.
• An emphasis on the arts - weekly lessons with specialist music, art & drama teachers as part of the timetable. Full scale musical and drama productions each term.

We have some excellent state primaries near us but none of them could ever have compared to this!

I absolutely would not sacrifice my children's future and education at the altar of leftie political point scoring. Just send them to the prep.