Volunteering nightmare

[Oliveoiloli]

AIBU I think I have made a massive mistake. To get my DC into a much sort after childhood activity I volunteered to do some admin for the charity free of charge. My DC loves the club BUT my small bit of admin has turned into me being on call 24/7 basically acting as the offsite caretaker for the charity. I am already working full time and I’m beyond overwhelmed but feel so guilty- they are adamant DC can’t keep his place unless I volunteer but these people are trampling over boundaries. I am happy to do what I signed up for but being constantly contacted is driving me mad. I put an out of office on and now they are calling my personal phone. What do I do? Do I just find a new club for DC?

they are adamant DC can’t keep his place unless I volunteer
What? That cannot be what they're saying? I would not be held to ransom like that

I'd block their number but stick to the help you originally offered.

Then if they get nasty, move your dc to another club.

How did they get your personal number? Who is calling you? This is completely out of order.

Short answer - yes, find a new club for your dcs.

No way would I be putting myself out that much!. They sound disorganised like many charities.

They are taking the piss.

Be clear with your boundaries and prepared to walk away if necessary.

Email them and say as your role is admin, you are contactable only by email. Set out your duties and the times you are available to do these tasks. Reiterate you are more than happy to provide this voluntary work; I look forward to our next meeting etc etc.

Block their number on your personal phone.

Done.

That's what I would do.

What is the activity? Do they have any governance as in, are they a national organisation with a head office you can appeal to?

The whole thing sounds shoddy. There should be a proper process for kids to join not a system based on bribery and blackmail!

I find voluntary work can definitely creep if you don’t set boundaries.

I know many clubs rely on the goodwill of people and it’s often the same few, which is high pressure.

Be clear what you can offer and what you can’t and take it from there. Are all other parents given a role?

does every parent have to volunteer?

Well, they can say this if the DC jumped a waiting list in return for the OP agreeing to volunteer. But the amount of volunteering should be as it was agreed when first taking on the role.

OP, set your boundaries, based on the voluntary role you understood you were taking on in the first place. Tell the organisers when you can be contacted and how. Be quite clear about how much you are prepared to do, and stick to it. It's really unfair for them to be bullying you in to doing more than was originally agreed upon.

Is it scouting? I did it for years but you need very firm boundaries!

This.
You are being taken advantage of.
Who said EXACTLY that they can't be in it if you don't volunteer at this level?
Email them directly and query it.

Is every single parent volunteering like this?
If not why not?
Put it on psper.

Quite. Is everyone on call 24/7 or is it just you? It sounds like an almighty piss take and I’d be taking my DC out of there.

Go back to them and say "ok....but I've got all the important data, if you don't agree to fuck off I wipe it. How dare you black mail me, I will post everything on social media recommending no one gets involved and contact hq with my complaint "

Stand up. Tell them to fuck themselves

Can you elaborate on their position? For example, how many hours must you do in order to keep your son’s place? I hear of many, many volunteers doing the job of two people but there aren’t conditions attached. How bizarre.

100% sure it’s scouts! Just don’t answer and start saying no. Sorry I’m busy. Sorry this wasn’t what was agreed. I’m happy to do X but I’m afraid I don’t have time to do Y. Don’t be scared to stand firm

It has to be something like scouts. Why will
your son lose his space? What is their reasoning?

I'd email them with days and times they can contact you. Explain that emails and calls won't be picked up until these days/times as you're working a full time job. Stick to that! Don't ever answer outside of these hours!

That's been my experience too. I actually call it 'volunteer creep'.

I gave up one role of writing and sending out a regular newsletter after the secretary WhatsApped me on Christmas Eve. He treated me like an employee, and instructed me to send out an additional 'Happy Christmas' newsletter that day (something he could have logged into the organisation's content management system and written himself if he had the spelling and grammar skills, which he doesn't).

It doesn't sound like much, but I had a very busy life and had been very clear about what I could offer at the outset.

Anyway, OP, it depends how much you want your DC to stay at that activity. If it's not that big a deal, walk away. If not, put your boundaries in writing, only deal with emails and stick to that.

Brownie leader here and also came to see if this is Scouts. The parent involvement expected at Scouts is far more than we expect in Girlguiding. Who is calling your personal phone? Is it the unit leader? Can you speak to the Group Scout Leader / District Commissioner (might be called something else instead in Scouts) and discuss your role / time available. Basically go back to your original admin role?

The reason they say her DS will lose his place is to stop parents from agreeing to volunteer as a way to jump the waiting list, only to suddenly disappear when their child has a place.

@Oliveoiloli Who is getting in touch with you, and why do they have your personal number?

Do they require an adult to be with the child for child protection purposes? No club member alone with a child who is not with a parent?

They have my number as I had to give a contact for my child (which is fair). Thanks for all the messages. I will need to get much much better at boundary setting!

I would take my child out of the club and block them with no warning or explanation!
I wouldnt want my child to be there if they are so badly run tbh.

That's insane!! Just tell them you will do what you agreed to and dont respond to any other calls. Tell them you will contact the National press if they kick your child out