Volunteering nightmare

[Oliveoiloli]

AIBU I think I have made a massive mistake. To get my DC into a much sort after childhood activity I volunteered to do some admin for the charity free of charge. My DC loves the club BUT my small bit of admin has turned into me being on call 24/7 basically acting as the offsite caretaker for the charity. I am already working full time and I’m beyond overwhelmed but feel so guilty- they are adamant DC can’t keep his place unless I volunteer but these people are trampling over boundaries. I am happy to do what I signed up for but being constantly contacted is driving me mad. I put an out of office on and now they are calling my personal phone. What do I do? Do I just find a new club for DC?

This has to be scouting or something similar. Only an hour a week...
They sucked me in too for a few years. I've never known a bunch of such manipulative people who would promise you the earth to get you to do something else for their organisation.
If they are actually threatening to withdraw your child's place, you need to raise a concern with the district or county manager (district or county commissioner). Or contact their headquarters. It's blackmail and has no place in a well-respected youth organisation.
This whole thing with people contacting you at all sorts of times is very unreasonable. They should be contacting one of the actual leaders. Not a parent volunteer.
Draw your boundaries. You're doing some admin volunteering. You can give 1/2 hours a week to it. Set days/times that you can do and stick to it.
If I were you, though, I'd be voting with my feet.

So how do the other parents secure their kids' places?

Has this charity got a head office? If it has, I'd be raising merry helly with them.

Additionally I'd be finding another option for my DS.

Exactly the club I thought it was too.

It's bang out of order they should hold you to ransom for unlimited free labour in order to get your kid on this class/course.

How did all the other kids get in? Are they running an outsourcing admin sweatshop with each parent working for free in exchange for their child's place in the activity?

It all sounds extremely fishy. If they're part of some kind of governing body or regulator I'd be making a complaint. It's not a fair way to allocate places in a children's hobby group.

Yes I did too. Other parents won't volunteer and leave their kids on the waiting list until a place appears or they find something else.

You've had great advice on the thread OP - I guess you can't block them on your personal phone if they have it for when your child is at the sessions, but you don't have to answer at any other time. Email to say what you agreed at the outset and say you don't have capacity to do more. Say the agreement was made before your child joined and you will honour it but only if they do and don't start mission creep. And say you will not answer emails when you are working.

In scouts it's pretty standard to allow children to jump the waiting list if parents volunteer as there is a massive shortage of leaders and other volunteers so it's the only way the group keeps going. In our area you usually only get in if you sign up to the waiting list very early or volunteer, and even if you didn't volunteer initially there are lots of requests for more parents to volunteer or the groups could close. It's fair enough really, no volunteers no group!

I can see why they won't let people play the system by dropping out of volunteering but keeping their child in, but equally they are bad for understating what's involved in the volunteering! I've just signed up as a trustee (not to get my child in) and have discovered there is a lot more to it than the person who asked me let on!

We do have the opposite problem here a bit too- leaders dropping out because their child doesn't want to do it anymore, and they only volunteered for that reason, so no reason for them to stay now - it creates a big turnover!

Thank you for explaining. Just say the parents work full time or are disabled. It seems bad that they'd only take kids who's parents can volunteer.

If they are basically forcing people into it they won't necessarily have the interests of the kids in the front of their mind. They're just on autopilot.

Do they let people with no kids or adult kids volunteer?

I thought the same!!

There are plenty of volunteers who work full time or are disabled. Units don't only take the children of those who can volunteer, however there are huge waiting lists, so additional volunteers means they can take more children.

People without children can volunteer, as well as those who's children are grown up.

I Agree it's not ideal, although there is also the waiting list way of getting in so it's not like it's impossible to do scouts otherwise. Yes,I think anyone can volunteer subject to vetting etc, but how you attract those people is the issue.

Thank you. I just think it feels like it's a bit discriminatory. A wealthier family may have more flexibility to do voluntary work. One parent may work PT or be SAHP.
I'm just thinking a single mum working every shift she can get in a factory at min wage would have less likelihood of having the energy to volunteer so their kid would likely lose out.

Is there a head office you can contact to tell them this is happening? Individual clubs power tripping and going rogue is not unheard of.

No way wonder they're so desperate for volunteers!

Of course it’s discriminatory. But how else can it work? There aren’t enough volunteers happy to donate their time for nothing. Either they force people to volunteer or the activity doesn’t happen.

Is this scouts/besbers/brownies/ etc? A million years ago when I was asking for my child I was told there’s a massive waiting list but if I do volunteering they could taken my child in.

i said ‘erm, no thanks’ as I guessed queue jumping would come at a price.

Is this scouts/besbers/brownies/ etc? A million years ago when I was asking for my child I was told there’s a massive waiting list but if I do volunteering they could taken my child in.

i said ‘erm, no thanks’ as I guessed queue jumping would come at a price.

Yeah I guess so. It seems a shame. But I do get it. Could they not pair up with a training provider and people doing a qualification in play work or child development or outdoor education or something could do it as part of their course?

Blackmail...id remove your dc and yourself from this environment. Don't volunteer for them and block their number. Is there someone you can report them too. Sounds awful...walk in fact run from them.

Sorry, I clicked on YABU by mistake!

Nah, sod that, get them into Army Cadets instead.

Short answer - yes! They are being CF’s. I have had to do the same recently as they’re simply taking the mick!

The problem with something like scouts is that all the leaders are volunteers. And if people don't volunteer they can't run. So insisting parents volunteer is one way of ensuring that there is actually a club for the children to attend.

IME volunteers are exploited by charities quite ruthlessly, though your case does sound extreme. If you have evidence in writing you could raise the issues with the trustees as it certainly sounds dubious.

The original poster hasn't specified if this club is Scouting, so it would be helpful if the Scout-bashing could stop. As a Cub Leader, I'd ask that you not tar us all with the same brush.

I rarely call upon parents for help; it would only be because I don't have enough leaders to run the evening properly. I seldom accept parental help anymore, as experience has shown that once parents get their child enrolled, the help they promised to provide often disappears.

I now run the waiting list in order of age and sign-up date, which eliminates this problem entirely.

I used to ask for parents to help if one of my regular leaders was ill or on holiday. I had parents tell me they couldn't do it due to their other kids - i used to work FT, go pick up my 2yo from nursery and then take her to brownies with me every week as without me, the unit would close. Then again whilst heavily pregnant with DD2 as well.

If everyone volunteered, it would mean doing maybe 2 nights a year at most? But as with most volunteering, lots won't (even when able - shift workers etc excluded) so it ends up falling more on the few who do, who then end up in OP's position and need to step back. Sadly there is a massive crisis in volunteering after covid and ultimately, clubs for kids will disappear if people don't step up.

Basically, yes. Find another club and tell them why you've left. Hopefully that'll wake them up.