in laws - obsessed?

[neversaynever27]

So v long history to this - too much to write and also very very outing to go into specifics.

But outline. Have been with my husband for 13 years. Married for 5. 2 DC. Had a great relationship with my in laws until the ring appeared - she literally turned on me overnight. Will never understand and have stopped trying to.

I am NC after what I would now consider as emotional and verbal abuse from them both (MIL & FIL) so are our children who they are not really bothered about anyway as they came from my womb. My DH is very low contact even though I have wondered why after all the damage they have caused but whatever, they're his parents.

Anyway sorry to go on. But I just feel theyre obsessed with me. When he speaks to them all they talk about is ME, ask about ME and I'm just so sick of it. Why??? I dont understand it and yes it does bother me after all they have put me through. I have asked DH to stop answering questions and talking about me after all that has happened. Has improved. They are also obsessed with our marriage and always saying to him "we have no idea why you are with her. Leave her and the children" (like what the f?). After writing this you're going to say DH problem (I know) but thats not my q? My question is why do they behave like this? It is so exhausting

I do not want drama. But I still have feelings about the situation and still very angry, maybe that is why it winds me up soooo much.

there you go. You just answered your own OP. You’re not the only one who still have feelings about the situation clearly. You aren’t indifferent- neither are they. That’s why they still ask after you.

in terms of whoppas of drips, I think this OP may just take first prize.

The MIL attempted to murder the OP and her newborn . The MIL was then arrested presumably for attempted murder!

🥇

Honestly, why on earth does you husband still speak to them? He is giving them the opportunity to carry on abusing you through him. Her abuse of you was bad enough to get the police involved and she was arrested. That goes far beyond the usual 'clash of personalities' and having different views on raising children between MILs and DILs on Mumsnet.

You have been like a dog with a bone trying to catch OP out. You have called her pathetic and insinuated that she was just being a difficult DIL until she provided information about the extent of the abuse by her PILs.

You obviously don't believe her so just report her thread if you don't think that she is a genuine poster.

Yep, and referred to as “emotional and verbal abuse” in the OP. Not quite the wording I would use for someone trying to kill my new born baby…

I’m more shocked that the DH has limited contact with them. I would never ever speak to my parents again if they did that. Is he trying to keep the lines open for inheritance purposes?

This is the answer.

I know it's very very difficult after all they've put you through. However you are never going to fully understand what motivates them.

As previous posters have said, tell your husband not to share their conversations.

Effectively they're out of your life and it's time for you to let go.

Exactly!! Its so outing 😂

They have not liked any of their children's partners, wives and husband's. Thankfully its not just me.

And no, they dont have that type of relationship.

I'm sorry but the situations of very obvious wrong doing on their part are VERY VERY outing and obvious.

Was not asking for advice on how to dial 999.

I was asking for advice about their continuing interference and interest in me

Advice is best given when you don’t minimise the context so massively. I understand your concerns about specifics and outing but clearly this is hugely different to your original “emotional/verbal abuse”. Even if you had just said physical/violent abuse and arrests, you’d receive hugely different, and better tailored advice from MNers.

And I think you know this advice would be why on earth is your DH remaining involved with people who tried to murder his wife and child. Do you really think anyone would be saying “just tell your DH you don’t want to hear about conversations” then? MNers would rightly be saying he shouldn’t be in contact with them at all, and if he chooses to prioritise them over your safety, you need to leave him. I suspect that’s the advice you don’t want to hear, hence your initial minimisation. I understand it’s a very hard situation for you. You can always post in 30 days only topic if you don’t wish the thread to remain up.

Did the police take any further action with charges? At the very least you should have (apologies as I can’t remember the terms) restraining order etc?

Oh come on, seriously

this MIL attempted to murder the op and her baby and was arrested

and you honestly don’t think that is the drip of the century? If not, I suggest you retread the op @thepariscrimefiles (assuming you bothered to do so in the first place)

Exactly

It is baffling. No wonder the marriage seems a bit… unhappy. His mother tried to murder his wife and his baby, the fact he is still in any form of contact with her is a total mind fuck

But you could have said something like serious physical violence: that’s not outing ? There are endless I’m no contact with my mil posts on mumsnet, most are because mil has either paid too much attention or not enough attention to DC, because they have offered to help (and therefore controlling / domineering, or because they have not offered to help and therefor cold and uncaring, because they have bought the wrong gifts or no gifts at all, or the right gift but it wasn’t their place to buy it, etc etc. people had no way of knowing this wasn’t another one of those and therefore be able to advise you more appropriately,

Did your DH witness his mother trying to run you and his baby down Op?