To think you can’t take a man with painted nails seriously?

[ThisSunnyBiscuit]

I know people say “it’s just nail polish” but I can’t help feeling like a man with painted nails instantly loses credibility. Whether it’s in a corporate setting or just in everyday life, it gives off a certain vibe that makes it hard to take him seriously.

It’s not about being closed-minded, it’s just that some things don’t translate well across genders. Am I being unreasonable or do others feel the same?

@5128gap

A man wearing nail varnish in his personal and social life would be less likely to be performative than in an environment where he knew it would be highly unusual and noticed.

Why are you assuming this? Why do you a man with painted nails would be less noticeable outside of the office than in it? (Although this once again is you showing that you view non-conforming and performative as synonymous.)

And why assume your 80s attire friend is not being performative if she dresses in that manner in an office where it is unusual?

It seems like you assigning motives based on your own prejudices.

This example makes no sense. Nail polish is something you frequently see in the office. Black tie attire is not.

If it was the norm for men to wear tuxedos to the office and a woman decided she wanted to wear one / wear a ball gown I would find it strange to see her choice as “performative.”

I once interviewed a famous classical musician who had glittery painted nails from a musical drag gig he'd done the night before. He was intelligent, funny and immensely talented (as well as being heterosexual and is now married to a woman. No credibility lost to me. I don't judge people by their nails, and my life is happier for it, I'm sure.

Ahhh fuck I only ever wear blue nail varnish. Last time I counted I had forty different blue varnishes: from palest blue to midnight. Luckily I work in a creative industry where no one gives a fuck about anyone's clothing or makeup.

Personally, I find men who wear nail varnish or makeup incredibly sexy, probably because I grew up worshipping Bowie and don't really find the corporate, be-suited look particularly attractive. But that's fine because my desires are all about me. I also think Ian Astbury of the Cult totally took over my hormonal teenage years and I STILL think of long black hair and eyeliner as being the patient zero of sexiness. I wish my husband would grow his thick black hair long and put on a bit of slap!

Exactly this. It also becomes a vicious circle.
A man who wears nail polish is accused of being “performative” because it’s “unusual”.

So those men who like it are shamed away from doing it so it remains “unusual”.

And so those men who break the circle by wearing nail polish are accused of being “performative” by doing something unusual.

And the circle continues.

oh I’m not saying it’s the worst, I’m not insane. But something being easy to opt out of… it’s still opting out, right? And we are aware that we’ll be a different sort of woman, if we did. If I stop doing anything about body hair and just wash my face in the morning (or not?), put on a T-shirt and some clean jeans and run a comb over the head….well tbh at my age nobody will give a fuck. But at 23 I’m going to get Remarks. Less so maybe for today’s 23 year old than when I was 23 which is good. Not caring about the Remarks is different to not getting them, so I understand why women, who’ve spent their life balancing faff vs Remarks might be like ‘oh fuck off’, about a man deciding he likes ‘nail polish’. That was all I meant.

in no way am I saying this is some genetic condition of womanhood. It’s culture of course it’s culture - culture having been something else historically isn’t what I’m talking about, same as I’m not talking about other cultures where the feminine experience is different.

I am all for male nails tho if a man wants nails. I was just responding to a poster. I agree that they’ll have their own bullshit to deal with, in daring to do a ‘woman’ thing. As we have seen, plentifully, on this thread. And yes, homophobia is a tool for people who want to give a man shit. That’s gross. Obviously.

What kind of backwards work environments do you work in?

I have only ever worked in corporate settings, starting in accountancy. I always have long pimped acrylics with zero issue.

I can't take anyone sporting a mullet hairstyle seriously at all they just look so daft

Why should he take off his nail polish for work when women don’t have to?

And it’s a faff to remove and reapply everyday assuming he even can (with Shellac he can’t).

Your references to “unsafe”, “feminine sides”, “smashing gender norms”, “bringing your true self to work etc. says more about the prejudices underlying your stance.

Also I genuinely don’t think you understand what “non-confirming” means.

It's not attractive to me. I don't even paint my own nails, except a bit of clear-coat if I'm trying to keep a crack from spreading when it's too far down the nail to cut off.

I don't particularly care that my feeling of attraction is based on gender norms that I've absorbed. I find it unappealing and I don't feel the need to try to overcome my feelings of revulsion over the idea of men wearing makeup (except on the stage/tv set, but I don't come into contact with men who need to do that, either, so it's neither here nor there).

And we are aware that we’ll be a different sort of woman, if we did. If I stop doing anything about body hair and just wash my face in the morning (or not?), put on a T-shirt and some clean jeans and run a comb over the head….well tbh at my age nobody will give a fuck. But at 23 I’m going to get Remarks. Less so maybe for today’s 23 year old than when I was 23 which is good

"A different sort of woman?" What nonsense is this?!
You're not a different sort of woman if you don't want to wear make up or high heels or whatever.
I don't wear either, doesn't make me "different."
It's sad (genuinely) if you've got remarks in the past, which your comment suggests, but it's warped your view of others and the way you see them.

Your references to “unsafe”, “feminine sides”, “smashing gender norms”, “bringing your true self to work etc. says more about the prejudices underlying your stance

Exactly

ummmmmm yeah we come in many different types and styles cos we’re not robots? All of us are women, and some conform more or less to grooming ideals? Those ideals have more or less value in certain parts of the culture? Some women get a hard time for not conforming? This can be magnified or lessened by class or other factors?

honestly seems weird to me that this is news to you. Anyway this is a thread about dudes in nail polish

I'm assuming a man with nail varnish outside of a corporate environment would be less note worthy than one with nail varnish in one, because ...he obviously would. Men wear all manner of things in their personal lives. In corporate environments they tend to be in suits and free of nail varnish. I've seen many men in nail varnish. I've never seen one wearing it in the boardroom. Have you?
And yes, of course we assign motives based on our prejudices. You are as guilty of that with your insistence that no one ever performs non conformity as I am in believing that some people do.
This isn't about whether men should wear nail varnish, I couldn't care less what men wear. This is about me prejudging a man who would choose to do so where it would attract a lot of attention for being highly unusual, as performative.
You can take the gender stereotype element out of it. Substitute walking into the board room with a copy of the socialist worker under your arm. I'd think the same about that despite being strongly in favour of socialism.

This isn't about whether men should wear nail varnish, I couldn't care less what men wear

Yet...
This is about me prejudging a man who would choose to do so where it would attract a lot of attention for being highly unusual, as performative

Couldn't care less, but prejudge them...
Ooookay. You clearly do care, more than you're willing to admit to yourself 🙄😁

I mean in lots of cases it is definitely because they think they can’t. Attitudes on this thread show why they feel that way!

I hear what you’re saying about the burden of female stuff, but I just don’t see how that extrapolates to a man in nail polish being less credible? I truly don’t get it.

No?

Men wearing nail varnish doesn't mean they want to be women....

So humans have recently invented/created certain things that people put in a box that define what females are allowed to wear or not

Humans have been around for a long time before all this modern things so how can men and women be born to like certain things naturally, it is all a modern decision and who really has the right to dictate who wears what?

I can attest to taking a man wearing nail polish incredibly seriously and immediately finding him hotter

I’ll tell DS first thing in the morning!

It definitely means they enjoy playing a little with androgyny at the very least though

I think it’s possible to feel a bit possessive of that burden, in a way.

It was just a thought about why the original poster I was responding to might feel funny about it but I don’t know that I can word it better than in my first reply tbh, or not without getting way wordier than a thread about nail polish deserves to have inflicted on it!

No

It doesn't