To think you can’t take a man with painted nails seriously?

[ThisSunnyBiscuit]

I know people say “it’s just nail polish” but I can’t help feeling like a man with painted nails instantly loses credibility. Whether it’s in a corporate setting or just in everyday life, it gives off a certain vibe that makes it hard to take him seriously.

It’s not about being closed-minded, it’s just that some things don’t translate well across genders. Am I being unreasonable or do others feel the same?

Well yes. I might like wearing ball gowns and a tiara but if I wore them to the office I think it would be fair to stay my motivation was more to stand out than to take pleasure in the aesthetics of velvet and diamanté.

Because in a (traditional) professional setting he would know it would stand out, get him noticed, and that people would read something into his decision to do so. I have no desire whatsoever to know that Joe from accounts smashes 'gender stereotypes' or has a 'feminine side' and I don't need him to 'bring his whole self to work' or 'see him for who is is'

If he likes wearing nail polish though, the very act of wearing it will make him stand out as you say as it's not always the norm for men in professional settings.
So what should he do then? Stay in his box and just wear his stuffy clothes to fit into the conformity just so the likes of yourself don't feel too uncomfortable or get an attack of the vapours at the sight of a man wearing a bit of nail polish?
It says a lot more about you that you're wanging on about "whole selves" and "feminine sides".

That's hardly the same

Do you say women wearing nail varnish are being "perfomative"?

Or women with short hair, women who don't wear make up, women who don't wear skirts or high heels, women who go grey early? All of those are "non conformative" actions

Men wearing nail vanish is not a performative action. You're just close minded

Such drama. Taking off his nail polish for work is putting him 'in a box' now? I managed to take mine off when it wasn't part of the company norms for several years. Surprisingly, without suffering any sort of blow to my individualism. As for 'being uncomfortable' or 'having the vapours'. More drama. The sight of a man in nail varnish would neither upset or shock me in the least. My point is only that I find performative non conformity (as I see it) tedious. Not upsetting, not something I'm too prudish to handle, just a bit annoying. (Don't worry though, I'd never say it out loud and make Joe feel 'unsafe'. I think it only in my own head and am saying it only because the OP asked us.)

No. Women wearing nail varnish can't be performing non conformity can they? Because women wearing nail varnish isnt non conformity, is it?

And I disagree that women with short hair and flat shoes are 'non conforming'. That's entirely mainstream and typically done to dispense with the discomfort and faff that is often required for stereotypical feminity.

Believing that some people perform non conformity isn't close minded at all.

It gives me the ick. Even well painted nails give me the ick. I saw a man on the escalator last week. Short dress, gucci type sliders and a bra strap showing. I just thought, "What a cunt"

...I always thought men couldn't wear dresses until I seen a guy look better than me in a gorgeous summer dress...

Don't be ridiculous

Do we? Speak for yourself. I think they portray a sense of stupidity and crowd following

Bit of an over reaction lol

I agree it’s an absolutely bonkers take. There are many ways women are oppressed but appearance and “performing femininity” is the one that’s easiest to opt out of. Just don’t do it! It’s all an entirely arbitrary set of conditions created by advertising and media anyway. As someone previously pointed out, heels, makeup and dresses used to be standard male attire.

also, if we apply this logic, men that wear nail polish and makeup are also subverting traditional male beauty expectations which comes with its own issues (ridicule being one as demonstrated by this thread, and at the sharp end homophobia).

You seriously over think everything, how do you even get through the day?
I wear (or don't wear) what I like. Because I want to.
I honestly could not even give a stuff what others do or don't wear, talk about stressing yourself over others. Pretty sad that you place so much emphasis in your mind on what others look like, and what you do.

The sight of a man in nail varnish would neither upset or shock me in the least
Yet here you are saying that it annoys you.

Nail varnish one day

Massive prosthetic breasts the next

Slippery slope isn't it

I said performative non conformity annoys me. Your point?

I’m sorry but it gives me the ick and I don’t know why either

My point being that the mere emotion of it making you annoyed shows that it clearly does bother you (upset) you. Even if you claim it doesn't.

Don't go to Whitby Goth Weekend or any alternative music nights/bars then

What credibility is lost by having painted nails? Are you saying it impacts his intelligence? I need more clarification.

Men with painted nails aren’t an everyday occurrence for me so when I do see it, I do raise an eyebrow but then my focus switches back to whatever needs focussing on at the time.

The performance annoys me not the nail varnish.

Why is it any more performative though than your friend who wears 80s clothes or a woman with a buzz cut? Who are you to declare that a man cannot simply like the look of nail polish and that’s literally all there is to it?

The only reason I'm giving thought to it is because I'm on a thread about it. I'm not slightly stressed or sad.

This is how we've ended up with gender ideology. We should all be able to present how we like without being judged. There is nothing wrong with a man painting his nails (it just doesn't change his sex). Women with painted nails are managers, etc. Stop trying to put people in boxes. Nail polish is not gendered

The perceived performance that's in your head.
Just because you perceive it to be "a performance" doesn't mean it is.

Oops, that was meant to be a quote

But by definition, “not-conforming” to your environment will stand out.

So by YOUR logic anybody non-conforming means you are being “performative”

Can you not fathom that people can so something non conforming not to be performative but simply because they like it? Is that really a concept that lies outside of your understanding?

Why do you assume Joe from accounts wears nail polish to “smash gender stereotypes”?

Maybe….

…..and bear with me

…..maybe he wears nail polish for the same reason women do - because he likes the way he looks.

Maybe Joe from accounts is wearing nail polish because it’s “personal” and nothing to do with what others thing.