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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you're planning for a proper downward spiral of quality of life

195 replies

Fragmentedbrain · 07/08/2025 20:32

I anticipate it and I'm saving up but that will be ofc no use if the financial system collapses

Should probably do something else

OP posts:
clotheslinefiasco · 08/08/2025 07:16

HelenaWaiting · 07/08/2025 22:38

I've stockpiled wine.

I'm coming over to your house.

I'll pick up the person with mustard on the way through x

Dontwasteyourbreath · 08/08/2025 07:17

Fragmentedbrain · 07/08/2025 22:39

I absolutely agree. Plus the number of people who desperately want to work and support themselves and others but increasingly can't find work.

The most recent research suggests there are 178,000 less people employed than a year ago. Some of this will be down to reduced hiring due to NI increases but, as @defrazzled has seen, some is down to a shift in attitudes, which is definitely not limited to those leaving care.

LightDrizzle · 08/08/2025 07:18

defrazzled · 08/08/2025 06:55

This is so true
i work with young people in the care system and there has been a massive huge change in attitude in my clients.
until 6 years ago we achieved 100% placement in work/training at 18. In 2025 for the first time the majority expressed open hostility to the idea of any type of work and instead demanded, (and I really care deeply about these people, I use that word with caution) help to get diagnosis of mh or nd conditions. Only 45% were persuaded to try work/training.
this is financially unsustainable and incredibly bad for them as well. It’s so sad, we are trying new tactics all the time but social media is an addictive nightmare for vulnerable people.

That’s awful and I’d in line with my worst fears.

SisterTeatime · 08/08/2025 07:19

PreciousTatas · 08/08/2025 07:08

To be fair, I completely understand why some young people are looking around them, shrugging and saying 'what for?'.

Why should I? What do I get from this? What exactly am I working hard to pay for?

It can be argued that is selfish, but the social contract IS broken. Services not fit for purpose. Increasing feelings of unease and lack of safety. Inept incompotent governments, one after the other, so far removed from the common man they have become a parody act. Patriotism is dead so that can't be appealed to either.

Up to a point, but the fact remains that compared to much of the world (not to mention history) we still have an extremely high standard of living. Arguably too high
which is part of the problem in some ways but that’s capitalism for you. I do agree that things are tough and I too am having some uncomfortable thoughts about it.

It’s important to try to make the best of any situation. I agree with pp that ‘humble’ skills like making and growing things are worthwhile. Work can be good for mental health. Life is always challenging for young people on the cusp of independence.

LaughingMoose · 08/08/2025 07:22

PreciousTatas · 08/08/2025 07:08

To be fair, I completely understand why some young people are looking around them, shrugging and saying 'what for?'.

Why should I? What do I get from this? What exactly am I working hard to pay for?

It can be argued that is selfish, but the social contract IS broken. Services not fit for purpose. Increasing feelings of unease and lack of safety. Inept incompotent governments, one after the other, so far removed from the common man they have become a parody act. Patriotism is dead so that can't be appealed to either.

This is the attitude that is ruining the world. As someone above said older adults need to be encouraging the young people to try and change things and get out there and work and try and create more positivity. Because one day, those young people will be older. And quite likely have young people of their own. Who will then be asking them why they did what they did when they were young.

Have you seen the attitudes to boomers on here?? They are blamed for ALL the country’s problems because of things they did when younger and the benefits they had. Trust me, in 50 years when the new young generation are asking the current 60/70 year olds why they didn’t work and try and change things, them shrugging and saying well it’s actually all the boomers fault (who by then will all be LONG dead) won’t wash. If anyone tries to defend boomers mentioning the war or poverty or quite frankly anything at all they get told that isn’t an excuse and boomers should have done things differently. Well, in 50 years the old people then will be told the same.

BeanQuisine · 08/08/2025 07:23

Personally, I'm OK here in Australia. I'm renting a nice enough house in a pleasant area, and my modest living expenses are still covered by investments etc., so I don't have to work for money as such, and can concentrate on projects that I find meaningful.

There are times when I wish I could take the odd holiday on a whim, but then I remind myself that no-one's stopping me from getting off my arse and earning the wherewithal.

Of course everything could collapse tomorrow due to the ludicrous White House incumbent and other factors, but there's no point brooding about it.

taxidriver · 08/08/2025 07:23

i am stockpiling blackberries, free food

WhatNoRaisins · 08/08/2025 07:26

Like some people I'm really trying to embrace the simple things so I can cope better if I have to be frugal.

It's really worrying seeing this increase in younger adults that don't work, struggle with mental health etc. I think I came quite close to ending up like that.

DeafLeppard · 08/08/2025 07:33

I must admit that sometimes threads like this make me think “stop fucking whinging and get on and DO something about it!”

I don’t think the benefits bill is sustainable - but I think a lot of that is because there’s now a whole class of people expecting benefits to be the first resort to maintain a good quality of life -not as a last resort in times of need.

Holluschickie · 08/08/2025 07:39

We are an immigrant family so we know what hardship is. It's hard now, but nothing compared to what my parents and inlaws faced. I tell my DC frequently that they have a social net. My MIL couldnt even access education.

GeneticallyModifiedGrump · 08/08/2025 07:40

I'm doing nothing different. Just living my normal (relatively small) little life.
If I'm lucky, when I die the house won't have been used for care fees and will be a modest inheritance for my two children (assuming money still counts for something and we're not all trading blackberries and wine!) so they and future generations have a cushion.

LimePombear · 08/08/2025 07:40

Yes I worry but I try to remind myself of this poem often:

I worried a lot. Will the garden grow, will the rivers
flow in the right direction, will the earth turn
as it was taught, and if not how shall
I correct it?
Was I right, was I wrong, will I be forgiven,
can I do better?
Will I ever be able to sing, even the sparrows
can do it and I am, well,
hopeless.
Is my eyesight fading or am I just imagining it,
am I going to get rheumatism,
lockjaw, dementia?
Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing.
And I gave it up. And took my old body
and went out into the morning,
and sang.
by Mary Oliver

babyproblems · 08/08/2025 07:41

I think there is an awful lot between ‘downward spiral of quality of life’ and collapse of the financial system!!!

We are already in a downward spiral of quality of life in the UK due to lack of investment in the public services, lack of protection for the public against business unrelenting quest for profit / low paid workers; and general political ignorance amongst the public, which I would argue is a failing of the education system over a long period of time.
Imo this is why people make political choices like voting for reform which will have only very negative consequences for the UK population. In many other countries, it is recognised this is a stupid thing to do if you are ‘part of’ Joe public society and that you would be better united against the very rich.
Anyway I digress..

The collapse of the financial system would be pretty catastrophic and you wouldn’t be able to access your savings anyway; any cash you had would likely be worth 20p due to massive shock inflation.. plus there’d be nothing to buy, nor any way of paying.. so I think best not worry about that and more worry about peoples’ political understanding so we can make good choices as a society for the future…

Namechangedasouting987 · 08/08/2025 07:43

I am binge watching series of Alone, and therefore learning how to make basic shelters, fish and trap..
Think it will help? 🤣

onlymethen · 08/08/2025 07:45

Well some people must have money to spend going off all the Halloween sh#|e for sale 3 months before Halloween.

DeafLeppard · 08/08/2025 07:50

babyproblems · 08/08/2025 07:41

I think there is an awful lot between ‘downward spiral of quality of life’ and collapse of the financial system!!!

We are already in a downward spiral of quality of life in the UK due to lack of investment in the public services, lack of protection for the public against business unrelenting quest for profit / low paid workers; and general political ignorance amongst the public, which I would argue is a failing of the education system over a long period of time.
Imo this is why people make political choices like voting for reform which will have only very negative consequences for the UK population. In many other countries, it is recognised this is a stupid thing to do if you are ‘part of’ Joe public society and that you would be better united against the very rich.
Anyway I digress..

The collapse of the financial system would be pretty catastrophic and you wouldn’t be able to access your savings anyway; any cash you had would likely be worth 20p due to massive shock inflation.. plus there’d be nothing to buy, nor any way of paying.. so I think best not worry about that and more worry about peoples’ political understanding so we can make good choices as a society for the future…

We spend a huge amount on public services but in a weirdly fucked up English way. We don’t invest in infrastructure that improves productivity - such as good public transport - because we’re not good at understanding “public good”, yet we spend billions on individualised support to give people the illusion of choice, via individual benefits. See EHCPs that cost a fortune vs well resourced special schools.

LightDrizzle · 08/08/2025 07:51

To clarify, it is awful for society but a tragedy for those young people.

It is hard to see how we can decelerate this decline because each generation of a large minority is experiencing increasing harm growing up in dysfunctional families and communities. My husband grew up on a notoriously poor council estate in Hull and moved at 16 to one that for him was an upgrade but which is actually more notorious outside of Hull, he went to a shit school which he left at 16. However while his parents weren’t perfect, they were decent and his grandparents were even better: both parents worked hard, got out of bed in the morning before their kids who had (carb) breakfast before school etc. and came home for cooked lunch and tea. If news got back that they’d “been up to no good” and annoyed Mrs X two streets away then there were swift consequences.

Most of his friends from the same background did okay. They got jobs eventually, - there was the first wave of very high unemployment when they left school and lots of factory closures. On his long street only one family had nobody in work. Now there will only be a handful in work and unemployment is a lot lower. Kids are feral on the streets, adults with children shout, scream, swear and drink alcohol and smoke weed openly all hours of the day and there is constant low level antisocial behaviour from all ages like playing loud music in the garden at all hours. Children are growing up in chaos; on the one hand neglected but on the other lazily “indulged” in that raising them properly involves effort and a measure of self control and sacrifice. Kids don’t want to go to bed? It’s a battle to get them there? You tried it only recently and it took over a hour before they were settled on bed? Fuck that, let them stay up all hours.

A friend who works with complex families says it’s so hard to maintain any conversation on the children’s needs because the parents are so needy themselves and inadequate. They track back repeatedly to their own problems and everyone and every agency’s failure to understand to help them. They do indeed have real problems but can’t seem to focus even on making small practical changes to improve their children’s wellbeing and safety eg. setting an alarm on their phone to get out of bed to support their children in getting to school.

These families often have a lot of children, there are doubtless many reasons including a lack of other sources of purpose or achievement. I don’t know where to start with turning things around.

It does baffle me that so many people are more worried about immigration than they are about this.

KPPlumbing · 08/08/2025 08:03

We're not planning specifically for a drop in living standards, but have always kept our outgoings low - by buying a more modest house than we could have done, owning our older cars outright to avoid any monthly payments, avoiding debt, and having no kids.

I'm very thankful that we've structured our life like this - it affords a lot of headroom and the ability to save.

sugarandcyanide · 08/08/2025 08:09

I think the cost of housing is the biggest factor in the decline of everything.

Rent/mortgage costs are high so two people have to work to pay for them. If you're single it's even more difficult. If they're lower earners this has to be topped up by benefits, the government can't afford this so they decided wages are too low and passed all the costs to the employer.

Employers then either reduce staff numbers or pass the costs on, so the cost of everything else goes up and adds to the problem.

People can't afford to reduce hours and also can't afford ridiculous childcare costs. Grandparents are often still paying their own rent/mortgage so they can't help with childcare, so the birth rate drops.

Young people can see all this happening and realise they'll never be able to afford a house and a family so they don't see the point in killing themselves to climb a career ladder.

It's only going to get worse because with all these costs people can't afford to pay as much into pensions, and the defined benefit schemes that a lot of pensioners have now aren't as common these days.

I think housing has caused this spiral and I don't think increasing wages is the answer. Someone will always have to do the lower paid jobs.

rainingsnoring · 08/08/2025 08:11

There already has been and will continue to be a fall in financial standards of living (I wouldn't say QOL as that's different imo). I think it is speeding up now and will continue to do so over the years and decades.
Financial planning is important if you can do it but also social planning, ie making and keeping friends and acquaintances, making an effort to be connected within your community, maybe trying to grow some veg if you can, acquiring useful practical skills if you can.

CosmicEcho · 08/08/2025 08:13

i think there definitely will be a drop in living standards as more and more people struggle with disposable incomes and higher taxes, businesses closing, more people unemployed, crime rate increases, socialising becomes more difficult, travelling to visit friends and family will be harder.
It doesn’t look great.

rainingsnoring · 08/08/2025 08:20

defrazzled · 08/08/2025 06:55

This is so true
i work with young people in the care system and there has been a massive huge change in attitude in my clients.
until 6 years ago we achieved 100% placement in work/training at 18. In 2025 for the first time the majority expressed open hostility to the idea of any type of work and instead demanded, (and I really care deeply about these people, I use that word with caution) help to get diagnosis of mh or nd conditions. Only 45% were persuaded to try work/training.
this is financially unsustainable and incredibly bad for them as well. It’s so sad, we are trying new tactics all the time but social media is an addictive nightmare for vulnerable people.

I agree with these two posts. There has been an underclass in UK society for a long time but it is growing. There are now many families who have been out of work for 2-3 generations.
I agree that social media is addictive and destructive, for everyone, to a degree, but especially for the young and vulnerable. The other causes seem to be that people have just given up hope because, although they don't understand the reasons, they can see that things are getting worse. Thirdly, trust in politicians and others 'at the top' is at an all time low. People see the blatant corruption, which accelerated when Johnson was in power, and have decided to follow suit in their small way. The whole system is clearly unsustainable.

@defrazzled I'm shocked that you have seen such a rapid change in the attitude within your group of young people.
I work in healthcare and have definitely seen a deterioration in the behaviour of members of the public towards all staff. One poor receptionist was really upset yesterday because of the awful behaviour of two men yesterday- swearing, telling her that he paid his taxes, threatening to go to A&E and send her the bill. I expect these kind of bullies would be the first to judge the young people on benefits but they are part of the problem themselves too.

curiositykilledthiscat · 08/08/2025 08:26

I’m hoping for property prices to keep on falling so I can buy a house outright and future proof myself that way, and keep on living within my means. And to always maintain at least a £5k buffer. As a single person with a low income and feeling nervous about the adverse impact of AI, I feel frightened about the future and I wish I could permanently piss off to somewhere cheaper in Europe, but Brexit.

dayslikethese1 · 08/08/2025 08:35

Jobs being lost to AI is a big concern, especially for ppl starting out who then won't get the opportunity to learn or gain experience.

waitingforpost · 08/08/2025 08:39

Have you seen the attitudes to boomers on here?? They are blamed for ALL the country’s problems because of things they did when younger and the benefits they had. Trust me, in 50 years when the new young generation are asking the current 60/70 year olds why they didn’t work and try and change things, them shrugging and saying well it’s actually all the boomers fault (who by then will all be LONG dead) won’t wash. If anyone tries to defend boomers mentioning the war or poverty or quite frankly anything at all they get told that isn’t an excuse and boomers should have done things differently. Well, in 50 years the old people then will be told the same.

It won't be the same though? They want to increase the state pension age despite no change in healthy life expectancy. There won't be a triple lock when I'm older or free prescriptions at 60, there aren't the demographics to support it.

Baby boomers didn't fight in the war & of course they had hardship. What happened as they got older was things improved & wealth was built. That is what's changed.