thinking its mad, how everyone assumes your going to return to work, when your dcs start school?

[milkgoddessmakesthefinestmilk]

im not planning to, i want to be the one that takes dd to school picks her up from school is there if shes sick or on holiday.

don't school children have about 3 months of hols a year?

pass the bottle lol

Too late have slugged ENTIRE remains of yesterday's straight from the neck. Yum yum. Not v good preparation for the night's work ahead, having wasted ENTIRE day on blardy MN.

Couldnt resist popping back to post under my new name

CapricaSix - thanks for answering my question! I'm trying not to get involved in the 'debate' as such. But you do work....

So back to my original question... People (mums/dads) who stay home when the kids aren't there... What do you do? I worked for Social Services in a previous job and found that people could always find a reason to stay home when their kids weren't there, but 5 years on and am still puzzled by what fills the time (bearing in mind this is on the days that you don't volunteer and your kids aren't on holiday or sick).

Anyone?

Drink

Nothing to do with OP, but in regard to a few comments above about JK Rowling... She was working full time as a teacher when she wrote the first two Harry Potter books. She was never a SAHM. When she first returned from Portugal (where she was a teacher and wrote 'Philosophers Stone' before coming back to Scotland with her daughter) she struggled to find work, which is why she was in cafes more often, but she was broke and job-hunting for a while, not SAHM, just struggling single parent trying to get off benefits and into work. The woman's a flippin' marvel. I loved her story about when she told the kids in her class that she was leaving after getting her publisher's advance. One of the boys asked 'Are you leaving to be a stripper, miss?'

Since I'm here I should say regarding OP, I don't think it's a good idea to be too wedded to any future life philosophy since events can so often make us eat our words. So whatever people assume about what I'm going to do in the future regarding work, I tend to reply 'Yeah, maybe, but it depends if...No, (DS) put that DOWN! Dangerous!' Luckily since I never get chance to finish my sentences in RL these days, I don't tend to cause much offence to my RL friends, whether SAHM, WOHM, or any other type of M.

I've been through the past six weeks posts, and I see that I owe PP an apology. She doesn't disapprove of women working at all. She just disapproves of childcare. Subtle difference. It was funny wading through the "AIBU to be annoyed that my dp gets paid a fortune and just coasts" thread - I'd forgotten that. The universal (and bemused) response was to get a life - but some people don't like advice.

Then on the charmingly entitled thread "AIBU to honestly wonder why have children if you want to work fulltime" started by the present OP (and PP's champion) I found this piece by PP

"if I were the owner of a company, let's say a small one, and I had two candidates coming for the same job separated only by gender both newly married in early thirties I would employ the male. Afterall my budget won't allow for an extra member of staff takes six month off when she has her baby......... very sad by so true. Simple economics implies this. Now that woman many not have any children or want any but I'm not able to ask, I then assume that the man won't be taking more than two weeks off."

Which says it all really.

Very interesting.
Good to know that she's very unlikely to ever own a company isn't it?

p.s. do you like my new identity quattro

It's lovely!

A word of warning - you'll need to stay aware from the "fire up the quattro" thread. It's uncomfortable.

Right 310 messages on and not one SAHM with children at school can explain what they do with their day. Assume it's Jeremy Kyle and Loose women all the way.

I told you some of the stuff dh does.
He walks the dogs (3), does the school runs, goes food shopping, cleans the house, laundry and the housework. All stuff we did when we were both working between us although I did a lot more as he was working nights and doing a lot of child care still.

He also does lots and lots of gardening, does a lot of voluntary work.

He finds the whole thing very mundane and monotonous but very much likes cooking for the kids and being a huge part of their lives especially as I work long hours.

Thanks ladies. But to be fair... CapricaSix - you work part time.
Hercules1 - Your DH does voluntary work and finds the SAH part mundane...

So soldiering on, I'm STILL unconvinced that someone can find stuff to do (and enjoy it) if they stay home without children 39 weeks of the year.

drink, lazyhen, I keep telling ya

I have mentioned that I study with OU and half the time in the week DH is also off (he works shifts) so we do stuff together (inc stuff people would normally do at weekends, shopping, decorating, dinner out etc). I am happy and fullfilled! I have been studying for 3 years now, and i also volunteer at school when needed and see family (elderly nan) and friends in the week.

Oh yeah - jajas - forgot your post in my drunken haze

I would add at this point that I work in the NHS in the community and earn (what I consider) to be a decent wage. Not stuck in the office, and it's a meaningful occupation to me.

Oh and I share a horse with my Mum. Not sure what that adds to the debate but thought I'd throw it in!

funny how people who don't work always seem to think working means being stuck in a boring office, isnt it?

I agree with daddycool, what does it say on your gravestone? high flyer? solicitor? secretary? no - mum/dad. You know what really really gets me angry? those people (and there are some out there) who have children as "accessories" - who see their children for an hour or so a day and their weekends are spent having "quality time" (another bloody annoying term)with their children, who they send back to school on a Monday exhausted - I worked in a nursery prechildren and have seen this numerous times, the poor mites have no time just to chill out, they are dragged here there and everywhere to ease the parents' conscience for not being there during the week. There ARE people who have children because they feel they SHOULD not because they have a strong maternal feeling.

I've explained the secret of MNing during conference calls before. Whenever you realise you've lost the plot you have to say stuff like "Going back to first principles ..." But actually it's half term too. I am not telling you which has been responsible for my mn output today of course.

WTF has your gravestone got to do with it?
If we're talking about how people will be remembered.... well, i hope my children remember me as a loving, fun, caring and hands on mum, and as a dynamic, successful professional who achieved many things both within and outside the home. That'll do me.