Asking lodger to leave early

[Jemblue101]

Hi all, I have a lodger and he originally said we wanted somewhere for 4 months, has now been just over 2 but I'm finding it really stressful and I can't relax in my own home. There has also been some minor damage in the bathroom.

I want to give him notice now to leave a month early (he will have a month notice) am I out of order?

I've given it a chance and took the lodger out of financial desperation. But hate it. Equally it might then become awkward for the final month :(

It’s your home and if it’s not working out then you can give him a week’s notice.

If he’s caused damage to your property and not immediately owned up and arranged a repair, he’d be out within a couple of days if it was me. I’d be fuming!

I think for the sake of a 'peaceful' atmosphere, it's best to let him stay for the 4 months. If you tell him to go, he might turn nasty.

Why do you feel so uncomfortable? If he is treating you and your place with respect, then let him stay for period you agreed upon. If he is being a bad lodger to you, then tell him to leave early.

But be prepared for the atmosphere to become really bad. I have seen this happen in the past when tenants have been told to leave. Suddenly things start getting broken/damaged etc.

For what it’s worth, I don’t think I could do it myself, I’d have to be utterly beyond desperate to have a tenant as I need my own space and don’t handle other people well. So I do feel for you. however, I’ve also been ejected from lodgings and its awful. I think offering some free weeks to leave early is a good solution tbh

I voted 'You Are Being Unreasonable' :

I suggest you do not take in a lodger ever again.

If you do make sure you only take in a female lodger/tenant.

Remember this is their 'home' too for the duration of your agreement, in this case 4 months.

You made an agreement with this person.

Do the decent thing and ride it out to the end of the agreement.

Don't go back on your word and make them homeless.

If you cannot move past this then ask your friends who persuaded you take him in and 'home' him for the next two months.

For the future you could think about offering a room on 'Crew Rooms' for people who work in theatre/tv/film and only need temporary accommodation whilst they are working on a show/film or a production.

I have friends who do this and it works out really well for both parties.

I agree.

OP, you’re doing everything legally. If you have problems and he refuses to leave you can get advice on the gov.uk site regarding a court order.

This!!

Absolutely this!!

Tell him to leave. Ignore the stupid AI answers!

It's your home, so you can tell him to leave when you want!

I've had lodgers for over 10 years and sometimes it just doesn't work. Sometimes I give them a month's notice, and once or twice I've asked them to leave the same day.

I'll get roasted here on MNet, but I'd guess most have never had a lodger in their life.

I find it bizarre that on a forum that’s happy to say ltb on a daily basis, posters are suggesting she should let him stay in case he turns nasty/vengeful.

Clearly, the OP is very anxious at the moment. I completely sympathise with her about this. But the lodger has done nothing majorly wrong.

There is a likelihood of making the situation much worse if she tells him to leave early. Can the OP cope with this if this happens?

The only complaint about the lodger from this thread is that something got broken in the bathroom which was more than likely an accident. Is that a reason to kick him out before the agreement? I think not. It is heartless, unfeeling and treating people like rubbish.

If she can't cope with the situation now, how is she going to cope if he becomes resentful because she kicked him out?

She's not comfortable. Maybe it's something she can't put her finger on. We have these instincts for a reason.

Why should she let him.stay longer for fear of retaliation?

From what I understand, the OP finds just the experience of having a lodger in the house anxiety inducing, not that the lodger has done anything to cause that, other than existing (apart from the comment about potentially breaking something in the bathroom)

Even if the lodger behaved really well at being asked to leave early, it's undoubtedly going to cause tension and I don't think the OP has the headspace for that from what they've said. And as much as people are saying 'just kick them out' - that's harder to do in practice. Going to court or getting the police involved is stressful, and longwinded. It's not just a case of ringing 101 and asking them to get someone out of your house while you nip for a coffee.

My advice would be to broach the subject with them about the four month date, and to say that your circumstances have changed and if there was scope for them to go any earlier that you'd appreciate it. That way if anything comes up sooner they would know they can take it without worrying about paying for two places at the same time. If you do feel you definitely need them out asap, offering a discount on their rent could help, not least because it could be the difference of them being able to pay a deposit to secure a new place.

She’s giving him a month’s notice, a month short of the original time. She’s not throwing him on to the streets in the middle of the night tonight. She’s also adhering to the legalities of the situation.

My post you referred to was talking about people suggesting she puts up with it for the full time ‘in case he gets nasty/vengeful’, which is beyond madness.

For every action, there is a reaction. If people are treated like disposable rubbish, then don't be surprised if there may be a reaction that is unpleasant.

There is a possibility that this may happen. He could just happily leave without any trouble but that is not always the case. People are unpredictable especially when they feel aggrieved.

For the sake of a peaceful atmosphere (for only 2 more months!!), then my advice to the OP is to honour her agreement. Treat him how she would like to be treated.

I thought I recognised you from the other thread. Honestly, is it is a 4 month arrangement, ending it early when he's done nothing wrong, seems wrong to me. You may be ok to do it legally, but that doesn't make it the right it the fair thing to do. It puts him in a very tricky position of needing to find something for a month.

Whatever happens though I think it's clear you are unsuited to having lodgers.

We will have to agree to completely disagree then.

I think the OP has been extremely vague about the issues which makes it hard for anyone to give good advice.

Is it a problem with her expectations around what it would be like to have a lodger, or is he unpleasant in some way?
What was the damage? A small accident or more?
The answers to those two questions have been withheld. If she is unwilling to give more context, then it is impossible to know if it is fair or unfair to ask him to leave.

Apparently we should forget those instincts when it’s a lodger. The hundreds of threads on here telling women to listen to those gut feelings but not this time. In fact, let him stay in case he gets nasty! Heard it all now.

Give him a weeks notice, he'll find somewhere to stay. The priority is your mental well being!

Surely wanting him to leave is enough? It's her house, no?

If they do this then you tell them they have 24 hours to leave!!

This was your decision in the first place, so I would stick it out. You are more than halfway through.
Do you suffer with anxiety and poor mental health generally? I haven’t read the full thread but unless there’s a backstory, I’m not sure what he’s done to make living with him so bad.

That is so unfair.

I find it bizarre that on a forum that’s happy to say ltb on a daily basis, posters are suggesting she should let him stay in case he turns nasty/vengeful.
@thebraveryofbeingoutofrange

OMG I am soooooo going to steal this for next lodger thread!

Everyone saying let him stay, what if he turns nasty etc etc etc!

Perfect answer!

Anyway if he turns nasty they can call the fucking police!

99.9% of my lodgers have been great and am still good friends with. But that tiny 1% I have asked to leave. And yes if they turned nasty I'd call the police right away.

Blimey so if she's living with a boyfriend that she feels uncomfortable with, would you give the same advice?

This lodger is a man who is presumably sleeps in a bedroom just a few meters away from her bedroom?

I can't be more than vague, I could be identified. But there has been boundary pushing early on and damage that happened and I wasn't even told about

Get him out. Fuck that. You deserve to feel comfortable in your own home