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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to buy designer clothes for a 5 year old?

73 replies

onefunkymama · 28/05/2008 20:32

My dd has just started at school and her new friends keep coming round to play with designer clothes as their clothes to change out of school uniform into. I'm embarressed because my dd is wearing the normal highstreet brands. I don't want to have to spend loads of money on expensive clothes but I am so embarressed. Should I buy them second hand (Ebay etc) or not, I don't really want to and I definately don't want to make a rod for my own back in the furture. What shall I do?

OP posts:
pofaced · 28/05/2008 20:34

Why is this an issue? has dd commented? dress your daughter as you wish: as long as she's clean and warm and happy with your choices, it shouldn't be an issue....

pofaced · 28/05/2008 20:34

Why is this an issue? has dd commented? dress your daughter as you wish: as long as she's clean and warm and happy with your choices, it shouldn't be an issue....

posieparker · 28/05/2008 20:35

I have to say the larger the designer label on the clothing the more rough the child looks, hate the word but 'chav' springs to mind. Steer clear of vile designer labels, children look nice dressing like children.

Original poster
onefunkymama · 28/05/2008 20:36

It is for me- the mum's at the school are mega competitive and clearly quite rich. I'm scared that our little girl will get looked down on

OP posts:
Original poster
onefunkymama · 28/05/2008 20:37

Lol posie - their not chavs but all the Mums and kids are immaculate all the time, maybe I'm too anxious not to let dd down in front of her new friends

OP posts:
hana · 28/05/2008 20:38

why do they change out of school uniform? this in itself is odd!

HonoriaGlossop · 28/05/2008 20:38

Have your own views and beliefs and then it doesn't matter what other parents are sticking their children in. If you are secure in your own views you won't get tossed on the tide of other people's parenting.

And now is a good time to get strong because as she gets older she may well ask for things that her peers have got and it's going to be very hard to say no if you've up to then just gone along with getting what other people have.

If your view is that highstreet clothes are what you are happy for her to wear, then be strong - your view is as valid as someone who puts their child in designer clothes (well, MORE valid actually cos they are showing a distinct lack of taste IMHO )

posieparker · 28/05/2008 20:39

Clearly quite rich children wear Boden, Oiliy, Catamini, cakewalk, roomseven not branded clothes (I know as I buy them!!! Two boys and then a girl I am allowed!!) like D&G, Dior etc which splatter the brand all over them.
The children in my city with these clothes on are a specific type with parents wearing lots of gold and seemingly don't work!

Original poster
onefunkymama · 28/05/2008 20:41

The clothes aren't branded more the labels that you mention posie, for me these are somewhat beyond my budget which can just about cope with Next

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 28/05/2008 20:41

if they are decent people they wont look down on you, and if they do look down they are not decent people

i buy High street and a few nice items but certainly not all designer.

i am too stingy

i am not immaculate either

posieparker · 28/05/2008 20:41

Oh I'm not 'clearly quite rich' I just overspend on nice clothes!!

Original poster
onefunkymama · 28/05/2008 20:41

Just a wee bit concerned about peer pressure in furture too, can see the issue of ponies looming on the horizon...

OP posts:
posieparker · 28/05/2008 20:42

onefunky...I didn;t get your last post?

posieparker · 28/05/2008 20:43

Are they wearing Oilily etc or D&G?

FAQ · 28/05/2008 20:44

hana - why is changing out of school uniform odd??

DS1 does it as soon as he gets home from school, and DS2 will be expected to when he starts in September.

Original poster
onefunkymama · 28/05/2008 20:44

My logical mind says to stick with the nice high street brands. I wish my 'Mum' heart would agree!!

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 28/05/2008 20:44

I don;t think either I or my ds would notice if his friends were wearing designer clothes
i certainly wouldn't give a toss if I did notice

FAQ · 28/05/2008 20:46
hana · 28/05/2008 20:46

I think it's odd - just another set of clothes to get dirty!
I'm not too precious about clothes - dd in normal school uniform stuff and at the prices they are - she has enough for clean school clothes each day

Hulababy · 28/05/2008 20:47

I find there is a real mix of clothes that the children who visit here after school wear - from non branded, to supermarket, high sctreet stores, places like Boden and then the proper designer stuff as well. The childre all seem oblivious to it, inc 6y DD. The girls are more interested whether they are both wearing a skirt or trousers, and what colour it is!

I wouldn't buy expensive clothes just because visiting friends have them.

Buda · 28/05/2008 20:47

FAQ - I think hana meant that taking clothes to change fore a playdate is a bit odd. Certainly none of the children I know here do it. DS and his mates will rate his footie kit shelf but that is about it.

Buda · 28/05/2008 20:47

That should say 'raid' not 'rate'!

Original poster
onefunkymama · 28/05/2008 20:47

Oilily, Boden, Zara etc

The ponies issue... some Mum's have horses and plan to buy ponies in the near furture, and my little girl would adore one of her own, I just don't think we can afford it. A friend of mine who's daughter goes to a nearby school was practically cut off because she didn;t have a pony to bring to a pony party. I think its incredible that people are so snobby but it seems to be the case here.

OP posts:
posieparker · 28/05/2008 20:48

Why enforce the idea that you have to 'keep up' with material things if a)you can't and b) it's shallow and unnecessary. This could be the first lesson for both you and dc about what's important. If you do this at 5 then you will have to buy the pony as she'll know no different.

georgiemama · 28/05/2008 20:48

Still don't get why you care? Why on earth would you be "so embarrassed" by your child wearing Next clothes? Is this really worth getting so upset about? You've got some knocks coming your way if you can get this upset by five years olds' clothes.

Mine wears clothes from Tesco and Asda, and he looks fab.