To not want to buy designer clothes for a 5 year old?

[onefunkymama]

My dd has just started at school and her new friends keep coming round to play with designer clothes as their clothes to change out of school uniform into. I'm embarressed because my dd is wearing the normal highstreet brands. I don't want to have to spend loads of money on expensive clothes but I am so embarressed. Should I buy them second hand (Ebay etc) or not, I don't really want to and I definately don't want to make a rod for my own back in the furture. What shall I do?

I would not want my DD growing up thinking the clothes you wear and the possessions you have are more important than the person you are. These people sound awful if they judge so much on material possessions and clothes. I think you would be doing your daughter a real favour by introducing her to some normal people.

onefunkymama-your children will recall a happy fun childhood not which frigging brand of jumper they wore. that is what matters

Just read the post about what the mother said about your sons jumper, OMG how rude!

OFM, find a few like minded people and dig in!! I have never been to a private school (there are loads in Bristol) where there aren't a real mixture of Mums.... rich, nearly rich, trying hard to be rich and plain old normal!!

The woman who told me ds jumper is vile is the Vicars Wife!!!! She's a total bully in every way.

what a total, total bitch. God must be really proud of her.

she sounds horrid

Wow how christian of her???

what a mooooooooooooo.

OFM- ah wll at least when you are blaspheming,drinking alcohol,and living it up you can be content you are not her (saddo reduced to bellyaching and bitching about a gorgeous handmade one off jumper)

I am glad that nobody else thinks I should be worried about dd clothes. I agree that being nice and kind etc is more important.I don't want dd to end up a spoilt brat anyway! Maybe I need to deal with my issues with the other Mum's.

Perhaps you should have said that it was made with love, a commodity that's held in high regard in your house.

Thank god I live in Blackpool - my boys in Next are 'well posh'

Can't help smiling at this thread. I dress my daughter who is 6 1/2 in "designer" brands - mostly oilily and pampolina, with some Boden bits (is this really designer?) for playing out. This is my choice and is based on wanting decent quality clothes that hopefully (and I know it may not be the case) have not been made by another child and are age appropriate for a tall skinny six year old. I would never judge anyone who didn't buy their daughter the same clothes as mine, in fact she would cease to be different if everyone did!

I've had terrible troubles this spring as DD has discovered fashion and developed a loathing for my taste. We had a long saga with her school shoes because I had failed to get clarks sandals and prior to the last party she attended we ended up tearfully in Next where she chose her own outfit as nothing in her lovingly chosen (and with some items reserved months ago) summer wardrobe would do. She wanted a sleeveless top with a punky looking girl and the legend "rock girl" in sequins. She also chose a top with a handbag with a dog in it. This is how she feels comfortable and what she believes, presumably from peer pressure, she should be wearing. The clothes she has chosen are not my thing and I feel are too old for her but the point I am long windedly trying to make is that it probably won't be long before your daughter and her little friends scorn the type of clothes you are worrying about anyway.

I've always found that the most well-off people I've met live fairly understated lives and it's those with greater aspirations who tend to try a little harder. The fact that they dress their kids in designer gear and pour scorn on those who don't suggests to me that they are trying a bit too hard. Who are they trying to convince of their worth exactly?

Personally, they sound like the kind of people I would actively avoid. However, if you do have to be in contact with them then perhaps you could try to shame them by being the complete opposite and reminding them it's better to have proper values than all the trappings of a materialistic lifestyle. You might find that you'll uncover one or two likeminded real friends in the process!

Be clear in your own mind what your values are. Stick to them and impart them to your daughter.

A child in designer clothes will not be allowed to play like a child, get messy etc.

KatyH makes a good point about those who are comfortable with their wealth and those who feel the need to display it at every opportunity.

A five year old doesn't need designer cloths. Just let your little girl whatever you want her to wear.

If they are making nasty comments it's them with the issues, not you. Take no notice .

We live in a fairly well to do area, but probably not on the designer fringe...no one seems to care much about who wears what, which is nice. Or maybe I just walk around with my head up my bottom not noticing these things!

The point I was going to make was that my DD has a friend (let's call her H) who comes from a lovely family who are bright, clever and quite well to do. H looks like a wardrobe disaster that's well and truly happened! She hates pink, wears boys stuff 9 times out of 10 and her parents just don't bother about clothes much, so she's usually fairly scruffy.

Having said that, she is still one of the most popular kids around and is likely to stay that way as she's kind, funny and very bright.

The posher parents in our school see her parents as eccentric and like them for that quality. The parents most likely to snipe about it are the wannabes and social climbers.

I'm from a council estate, youngest of 6 kids, all my clothes were hand me downs, so I'm pleased when my dd has something nice to wear, whether it's come from Next, Sainsbury's or the car boot. She has a couple of designer pieces (I know I can sell them on if she doesn't cack them up completely, so I occasionally buy a nice piece or two) but on the whole, it's stuff she feels comfy in.

And it's SO not worth the battle for pretty dresses or girly clothes. I just go with the flow on it and thank God that she's not (yet) asking for D&G tops or top notch trainers!!!!

Why can't we just let our kids be kids for a bit?? They're only young once, so why push them into the consumerist nightmare that most teens live in???

The only person likely to be worried about her clothes is you. If other people are, as someone here said before me, their opinions are worthless.

KatyH is right - every truly loaded person I know buys their clothes at markets or at a huge push, possibly Gap. I had a friend at university whose family owned half of Bond St (he never mentioned it, I found out years later from someone else). I never saw him in anything but scruffy Converse and t-shirts from the market square.

The vicar's wife is a whoredonkey and you should tell her so if she dares to approach you again. Tell everybody else that you bumped into her in Primark or Oxfam in the next town getting clothes for her kids. She'll never live it down.

My in-laws were poor when raising their children but and are now comfortably off and love designer labels. It's embarrassing because they buy these really expensive clothes and I am so hopeless at a)getting the children to stay smart b)doing laundry in any sort of meticulous way, that the clothes are soon ruined. It's such a waste and I wish they wouldn't.

LOL at whoredonkey - noted for future arguments!