My neighbour is threatening to report me for “benefit fraud”

[AugustSlippedAwayInto]

I’m currently signed off sick from work after an operation last week. My street is full of gossips (to put it nicely) so the entire street knows why I’m off. Brill.

For full disclosure, the relationship with this neighbour is rocky at best. She’s screamed abuse at me and my family in the street before, she watched everyone from her window and films people walking past very regularly.

I decided that I felt well enough for a short walk yesterday, so my mum came over and offered we went. I think we were out for about half an hour, with a break halfway.

This morning as soon as she’s seen I’m up (lights on, curtains open etc) she’s banging on my door saying she’s contacted my work and “the government” to report that I’m “committing fraud”. I’m talking shouting, banging my door so hard I thought she’d break the glass, slapping the front windows. It’s all on the ring camera.

I’m not on SSP, as I get occupational sick pay, and after my walk I slept for three hours! WIBU to just tell her to do one and to leave me alone?

And how would @AugustSlippedAwayInto explain to the elderly neighbour she visits regularly that she won’t be able to do so after her surgery, without telling her about the surgery, @Awaywiththegnomes?

@AugustSlippedAwayInto - this neighbour sounds horrible - I agree with the posters who have said you should phone the police about this incident.

Will you? If you are, best do it now whilst she’s actually there

This dear old elderly neighbour is gossiping about the OP’s health with others

If you can’t trust someone to be discrete about a health issue you don’t want to be gossiped about, best keep it to yourself

Fuck me, MN posters never pass up on an opportunity to victim-blame, no matter how spurious.

Victim blame?

The Op knows the Op is “full of gossips”

so it’s not victim blaming to say… stop telling people your health issues of you don’t want it gossiped about and reaching the psycho neighbour 🤷♀️

I'd of done the same because otherwise the older lady you visit (and other neighbours) would've worried. The issue is your slightly crazy neighbour, even if you hadn't said anything to any neighbours, I think she'd of realised you were home more or spotted you looking sore or coming home from hospital groggy etc.

Please keep going for walks when you feel able.

The spelling is discreet, btw, not discrete.

I would report it to the police. If there’s been previous reports from other neighbours then they might go around and have a talk to her. Sounds like harassment and I wouldn’t be tolerating it as you never know how much it’s going to escalate.

🙏

Victim blame?
The Op knows the Op is “full of gossips”
so it’s not victim blaming to say… stop telling people your health issues of you don’t want it gossiped about and reaching the psycho neighbour 🤷♀️

Conversely - why should the OPs normal friendships with her gossipy but nice neighbours have to be curtailed because of one psychopath?

They’ve all been so lovely too, one of them has been bringing me lunches everyday 😭 it’s sort of a catch 22. But all in I’m glad I told them as I wouldn’t have wanted them worrying!

If she really has contacted your work I’m sure they won’t have given her the time of day. If you are not claiming benefits then she can’t do anything further. If you have a ring doorbell just keep the evidence of her outburst. Stop sharing personal information with the neighbours.

Good grief.
Phone the police. Report her for harrassment.
If you have some spare cash get a solicitor to write a cease and desist letter.
Contact the LA ASB department ,your MP and local parish councillor too.
Sadly I've had experience of people like this and they are usually quite mentally ill.
Mums neighbour ended up getting sectioned.
You need to start a paper trail NOW.

I agree with others that logging with 101 is probably a good shout given the other behaviours as well.

Going for a walk if and when you feel able is good for recovery, so although if she did make a complaint it wouldn't get anywhere, you dont need the stress from it do you. Hope youre feeling fully recovered soon.

Police and council. My Dd is in a private rented flat and is going through similar. The council have given her recording equipment and she also has ring doorbell and the police have warned the woman responsible.
Your neighbour probably has history and maybe known to the police so definitely contact them they do take it seriously as do the council.

As you know you have done nothing wrong I would contact the police and let them look at the CCTV as this is harassment or even a hate crime I would think. Ideally you wouldn't report a neighbour but this behaviour is extreme.

Call 101 or better still log online each time she shows threatening and/or stalking type behaviour, this builds up a profile for the police to act should she tip into more threatening dangerous behaviour - often it’s a case of not enough on its own for them to act but if enough evidence is there then they can

What a horrible, horrible woman, the last thing you need. I doubt very much that they'd take any notice of her OP, she's probably reporting someone for something every five minutes. Get well soon 🌺 🌹

“Gossipy but nice”

how can someone be nice and gossip with others about your health issues, especially if you asked them to be discreet about it?

Same Here

It sounds and seems horrendous

Don’t even justify it with a response - let them do whatever and carry on with your life, you know the situation so if anyone gets in touch then you know there is no issue. Some people just like the drama and have nothing better to do 🤷♀️ If it continues then report to the police for harassment and don’t engage with the neighbour and let police sort.

Report every instance of her behaviour to 101 so it's all logged. It might escalate as she does sound very unwell

I’m going to start doing this. Word on the street (ha 😅) is that there’s a family history of mental health issues. She lives with her sister who hasn’t been seen for a few weeks now. So we think she may have been sectioned.

If someone was shouting abuse at me and it was continuous I would have phoned the Police

Oh yes they can! If they are inclined to, they will find a way. Agree best not to feed information though. I had this, and most of the gossip was invention, based on what little bits particular nosey neighbours did know. For example my DP (m) and me
(f) were buying our house. He has a phD (not medical) and doesn't use Dr. title. However. somebody in the estate agents picked up on it somehow and wrote to him as Dr ... Before we moved in the local gossip was that we were "two lady doctors". Neither of us worked in healthcare.