My neighbour is threatening to report me for “benefit fraud”

[AugustSlippedAwayInto]

I’m currently signed off sick from work after an operation last week. My street is full of gossips (to put it nicely) so the entire street knows why I’m off. Brill.

For full disclosure, the relationship with this neighbour is rocky at best. She’s screamed abuse at me and my family in the street before, she watched everyone from her window and films people walking past very regularly.

I decided that I felt well enough for a short walk yesterday, so my mum came over and offered we went. I think we were out for about half an hour, with a break halfway.

This morning as soon as she’s seen I’m up (lights on, curtains open etc) she’s banging on my door saying she’s contacted my work and “the government” to report that I’m “committing fraud”. I’m talking shouting, banging my door so hard I thought she’d break the glass, slapping the front windows. It’s all on the ring camera.

I’m not on SSP, as I get occupational sick pay, and after my walk I slept for three hours! WIBU to just tell her to do one and to leave me alone?

Obviously, if she's harassing you it is probably necesary to go to the police. But in this instance, I would have burst out laughing and asked her what exactly she thought they were going to do.

I atually love this sort of batshittery in itself, but sadly, it does often come with the harassment and sense of fear. where you can laugh though, definitely do!

We own our house (outright,but she thinks we rent) and next door is council

She moved herself and her dds in a few years ago

And then her bloke (the benefits office don't know about him)

She got it in her head that we had to move as she hates living next door to us (we live quietly and did nothing to her)

She started up with us daring to park outside our own house-screaming at us,filming us leaving our own house,slagging us off to anyone who would listen and just being a pest (she also rang the police on us for not clapping during covid)

I broke my ankle and she fell over herself to ring my work to tell them I was faking it as she'd seen me walking to the shop without my crutches-utter bollocks

I couldn't walk without them and the ring footage she did have was from the day before I fell down the stairs

Fuck all happened,they just stared at her and told it it was fuck all to do with her (I only found out as she told another neighbour what she had planned,work didnt say a thing)

She ended up burning her house down (accidently!) and has been quiet since (towards us,the family down the road are getting it now because their kids play out)

She carries on and I will report her for the shit hole of a garden (against the rules for a council house),the benefit fraud,the fact she claimed domestic violence to get a place (and then a council house) in a women's refuge (i didnt think this was possible but she managed it-judging by the rows they have,its not him thats ever lashed out) and harassment

But at the moment I'm just leaving her to boil in her own juice and she'll turn everyone against her in her own way (she can't help herself)

It'll be a cold day in hell when she harasses me out of my own home

The poor woman sounds very unwell.
I think I'd be reporting that to the police if you have it on camera. Not to press any charges but to have the event and behaviour documented.
As unwell as she is, she can't be harassing people like that and the report may help her get the help she needs. I'd be asking the police to contact social services for her.

Honestly you would be doing all the others a favour - call the Police on her for harassment. I don't know why she feels so entitled to "dob you in" she clearly isn't working wither. SO where is her income coming from. Once you have properly logged with the police any further low level incidents can be logged against the same crime I believe building the Police a better picture. If she eventually gets arrested for it and dealt with she could end up with a no contact order and win for you as if she breaks that they can immediately arrest and process

I live in a tiny village. Everyone there gossips, but it is nice, because it's more along the lines of 'I haven't seen X for a while, have you? Are you sure they're all right? I saw their daughter in the other day, I hope they aren't poorly.' When you live alone, that kind of gossip is very reassuring, you know you won't be found six months after your demise, eaten by your poodle because someone would worry that they hadn't seen the dog walked for a while.

But aside of that, this neighbour sounds very unwell. And if the gossip didn't exist, the neighbour would just fabricate something - probably have OP working from home as a prostitute if she's not obviously leaving for work. Anything to react to, really. Film everything and see if you can find a friendly PCSO who might pop round there to have a word about what is acceptable behaviour.

Tell her to do one, and never knock on your door again hope you recover well and block out any further threats from neighbours none of their business.

Kill her with kindness @AugustSlippedAwayInto good luck with your recovery.

I would definitely call the police. As someone else said, it build up a pattern of behaviour with them so that when something bad finally happens they can act on it.

'Unwell' is an interesting word here. I am not any sort of expert here, but used to work with psychiatrists and psychologists and picked up that personality disorders are not the same as other psychiatric conditions. A great many people in prison are considered to have personality disorders, including psychopathy, but they can't be sent to secure units or hospitals just for that reason as these conditions are basically untreatable, certainly incurable. The most that can be done is to try to give the patient some insight into their condition and try to get them to amend their behaviour, and the success rate is poor. There was a special unit at Broadmoor for such people which I think was closed because it wasn't considered a good use of money, given the poor outcomes.

I suppose we've always had people living in our communities with personality disorders. Possibly in the past some ended up being committed to asylums. Women with any kind of nonconformist behaviour certainly ended up there and many of them were never released. That wasn't right but just leaving them in the community to terrorise and upset their neighbours certainly isn't right either.

She’s crazy in most cases after surgery you are instructed to walk after the surgery to help your recovery while signed off sick, I certainly was told to do so after a full hysterectomy with a big surgical scar. My aged FIL walked for miles after his triple heart bypass surgery.

She's still staring. 101 have said they will try and send someone, but it's not classed as an emergency (fair enough, it's not really an emergency!) and given me a reference number for me to submit footage etc., so I've sent in the video of her screaming at me and banging on the door.

I'm glad you're taking this advice OP, as PP said it will build a bigger picture and while results won't be instant hopefully the police will act if enough reports are made.

If the police view it as mental health issues, shouldn't they be reporting this to adult social services? (I genuinely don't know the answer to this, I just presumed they would if there was a concern.) Is this something you could maybe speak to adult social services as a concerned neighbour, a welfare check of some kind possibly?

I genuinely don't know. I know that the family has a history of disengaging with mental health services in the past - my neighbour's sister will apparently disengage from medication and therapies etc., and end up sectioned quite regularly.

No wonder the police don’t come in an emergency as they’re dealing with rubbish like this.

All those saying call the police, you need to realise that most police paperwork is crap like this and they spend hours and hours dealing with it.

Maybe call the neighbourhood team or a PCSO to have a word with her and then you won’t be wasting police time.

I called 101, not 999.

She came onto my property, tried to damage it, and has now been stood watching me for over an hour from her front garden, I can see her staring into my front room. It's not an active burglary but given her history it's quite concerning!

Oh give over, she's threatening the OP, banging on her door and generally harassing her. That's a police job.

It literally is the point of the post as it all stems from everyone knowing your business because they are “gossips” but it seems you tell a whole bunch of people yourself.

Why haven't you called the police? She's so mentally unstable and possibly in need of a psychiatric assessment. The police can arrange all that and if you make a call to the local authority and ask for a welfare services/safeguarding referral to be done. You shouldn't have to put up with this.

You don’t think harassment like this is a police matter, @pinkstripeycat? If it was happening to you, your opinion might be very different. Or maybe you would be perfectly happy to have someone (potentially with serious mental health issues) hammering on your door and windows, yelling at you.

I would report to the police. Set up a ring doorbell first if you can, so any further incidents can be recorded.

If someone was hammering on my door screaming abuse I would 100 percent call the police - as should anybody.

People like you make my brain dribble out of my ears. Perhaps you should go and work for the police and write new guidance for them - "PoLiCe NoT 2 AtTeNd aGgresSive dIstUrBanCeS bEcAuse I sAY sooo duuuuh." Jesus, Karen.

If she has called your workplace to try to get you in trouble then that is harassment, and yes you should report it to the police. Apart from anything if things escalate further you will want a record of the things that have been happening.

She’s a freak. Hope you’re ok, OP.