Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

On phone in stationary traffic

281 replies

Charttopper · 05/08/2025 21:37

NC for this. I'm wondering if any legal folk have advice or whether you all think IABU.

A few weeks ago I was stopped at traffic lights for some time in standstill traffic so I briefly picked up my phone to look at a message that had come through. I was on my own with my baby in the back. Suddenly I was aware of something to my right and when I turned, there was a man in a high vis jacket on a bicycle, stopped right next to my door, and bending down to stare at me through my window. He didn't engage, just stared straight at me for what felt like an age. His position meant that I couldn't get out of the car and it felt very intimidating. I didn't know what his intentions were, or what he'd do next.

He then cycled off ahead and stopped by the windows of one or two other drivers and did the same thing. I felt quite shaken by the experience.

I later learned that he either reported me or was an undercover policeman as he had filmed me on my phone with his helmet camera.

I have now received 6 points and a £200 fine. I accept that the law states that checking your phone including when stationary is an offence so I am not disputing that there should be a consequence.

However, I can't help but feel that 6 points is a disproportionate punishment given that I was stationary and not actually causing risk. If I was moving it would be a different matter but I was not driving without due care and attention, i was stationary with the break on.

Secondly, the method of capturing this footage - a man staring into a woman's car, on her own with a baby, and instilling fear and blocking her in surely is not acceptable?

Can I challenge any of this?

OP posts:
rosanna19 · 05/08/2025 22:43

I once had the pleasure of a cyclist leaning through my open window and shouting ‘WAKE THE FUCK UP’ because I took slightly longer than 2 seconds to respond to some lights turning green … wasn’t even looking at my phone… but some people love to designate themselves the moral arbiters of the road.

SeagullFreeZone · 05/08/2025 22:43

@JazzyBBBG
Yes - it’s great isn’t it.
People caught in the act breaking the law and evidence provided to the police and penalties follow.
That is certainly progress.

saveforthat · 05/08/2025 22:43

JazzyBBBG · 05/08/2025 22:40

So any old cyclist can just film someone now and the police go with it?

Yes and not just cyclists. Where I live if you try to report a crime you are asked if you filmed it on your phone. So it's actually expected.

MalcolmMoo · 05/08/2025 22:44

Marmiteontoastgirlie · 05/08/2025 21:48

What a prick! Could you perhaps write in an irate message saying you were intimidated by this man and had picked up your phone to call the police before he cycled off? Could be worth a shot.

PS this is AIBU so be prepared for everyone to flame you. But I occasionally accidentally check my phone if I’ve been sitting at lights for ages in traffic (and then freak out and look around to see if there is a camera watching me and wait for the fine in the post). It’s definitely not worth the worry for me but I do sometimes itch to briefly check a message if I’m very bored and not moving.

How do you accidentally check your phone???? 😆

Chompingatthebeat · 05/08/2025 22:44

rosanna19 · 05/08/2025 22:43

I once had the pleasure of a cyclist leaning through my open window and shouting ‘WAKE THE FUCK UP’ because I took slightly longer than 2 seconds to respond to some lights turning green … wasn’t even looking at my phone… but some people love to designate themselves the moral arbiters of the road.

Well i guess if they're the ones that die as a result of bad driving...

XenoBitch · 05/08/2025 22:45

saveforthat · 05/08/2025 22:43

Yes and not just cyclists. Where I live if you try to report a crime you are asked if you filmed it on your phone. So it's actually expected.

Yes, and people are also asked if they have dashcam footage too.

Hibernatingtilspring · 05/08/2025 22:45

When I learnt to drive (as an adult, so a bit more sensible than I would have been as a teen) my driving instructor taught me that anything that you have in reach whilst driving you're likely to be tempted to reach for at some point - so coat and bag in the boot, or under the seat in front. If phone is plugged in (eg to connect to sat nav) it's face down so you're not distracted by the phone screen. For me that's been habit since I started not to have things near me in the car where possible and I hadn't appreciated how good that advice was to a learner driver!

TheVillageofLowerDenture · 05/08/2025 22:45

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Pennyforyourthoughtsplease · 05/08/2025 22:47

cyvguhb · 05/08/2025 22:43

I don't need to read anything, it's common sense that the act of looking at a phone screen for the two seconds it takes to read a message is exactly the same as looking in your handbag in terms of eyes not on the traffic lights. The handbag was just an example, you might be looking at something out of a side window and miss the lights changing. Do you think that's dangerous?

The law is the law, thats indisputable, what's ridiculous is suggesting that taking your eyes off the traffic lights puts multiple lives at risk

It blows my mind that you can even think that. If you're looking at your phoen it's completely different as you take your two seconds and then even after you look at it your brain is now distracted thinking another what you just saw and how you'll respond to that. It's not the same at looking at your handbag at all!

IShouldNotCoco · 05/08/2025 22:48

Ugh. Cyclists have a bad name for a reason. It’s ok for them to hop on and off pavements and do other dangerous shit though, eh?

ShanghaiDiva · 05/08/2025 22:49

JazzyBBBG · 05/08/2025 22:40

So any old cyclist can just film someone now and the police go with it?

Yes - can report under operation snap
https://www.devon-cornwall.police.uk/opsnap

Kibble19 · 05/08/2025 22:50

Keep an eye on Mikey’s YouTube channel and you might be making a guest appearance. 😄

Dbank · 05/08/2025 22:52

The punishment is the same regardless of whether you were moving or not, but bear in mind you received the minimum fine, it could have lost your license and recieved a £1,000 fine, which is what probably what you'll get next time...

The method by which you were caught, was probably legal, if you think it wasn't then you could always report it.

I, like most drivers and riders are appalled by the number of distracted drivers I see everyday, many of which are stationary.

Chompingatthebeat · 05/08/2025 22:54

IShouldNotCoco · 05/08/2025 22:48

Ugh. Cyclists have a bad name for a reason. It’s ok for them to hop on and off pavements and do other dangerous shit though, eh?

Well hey, if its 'not actually causing any risk'....

TheVillageofLowerDenture · 05/08/2025 22:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

BountifulPantry · 05/08/2025 22:55

I know OP is in the wrong as she has broken the law.

I just cannot get into the headspace of someone who deliberately goes out cycling to get people caught like this! Why?

aodirjjd · 05/08/2025 22:55

There have been studies that show you have a cognitive “hangover” if you look at your phone when stopped. So driving is worse for the next 30 seconds or so. It makes sense really because it takes you out of the “zone” a lot more than reaching for your coffee or whatever would. So it’s just simply not correct to say it’s harmless. I mean you’ve said yourself you didn’t even notice a man cycle up to your car and put his face onto the passenger window. If you had you would have put the phone down before he’d got clear footage of you.

A lot of these accidents are because people don’t see the lights changed, then get beeped and panic and set off without checking.

rooting through your handbag etc doesn’t take you out of the zone the same way, but being distracted by anything driving can still fall under careless /dangerous driving.

the points are so high because the number of accidents caused by idiots on their phones is still through the roof. Cycling mikey frequently catches cab drivers doing it which always blows my mind because they lose their jobs if they get points so you’d think they’d be more careful but no!

There are loads of these cyclists about. It’s an easy win for the police, all they need is a video which shows you on your phone and your license plate.

RoseAlone · 05/08/2025 22:56

You broke the law. It's illegal to even touch your phone when you're in a car. You've been banged to rights.

aodirjjd · 05/08/2025 22:57

BountifulPantry · 05/08/2025 22:55

I know OP is in the wrong as she has broken the law.

I just cannot get into the headspace of someone who deliberately goes out cycling to get people caught like this! Why?

Most of them aren’t going out just to do that. They are just commuting and pick it up as they go along. It benefits them in the long run as cyclists are likely victims of idiots on thier phones.

Chompingatthebeat · 05/08/2025 22:57

IShouldNotCoco · 05/08/2025 22:48

Ugh. Cyclists have a bad name for a reason. It’s ok for them to hop on and off pavements and do other dangerous shit though, eh?

Because cyclists are killing people all the time arent they

XenoBitch · 05/08/2025 22:57

BountifulPantry · 05/08/2025 22:55

I know OP is in the wrong as she has broken the law.

I just cannot get into the headspace of someone who deliberately goes out cycling to get people caught like this! Why?

Because cyclists are vulnerable road users and sick of people in cars not paying attention to what is going on around them.

If OP had not been caught, she could have done it time and time again and ended up really hurting someone.

YanTanTetheraPetheraBumfitt · 05/08/2025 22:58

Kibble19 · 05/08/2025 21:56

I wonder if it was that Cycling Mikey (I think that’s the name) who’s always doing this.

I thought this too.

btw, is it still illegal does anyone know if you are stuck in non moving traffic for say 30 mins and have turned the engine off, handbrake on….but are still in the road? Because I never normally use my phone at all but did do this recently to see what the accident/delay was. I was happy enough it was safe due to length of time we were stopped and I’d turned my engine off but wasn’t sure about the legality of it.

Thanksman · 05/08/2025 22:59

BountifulPantry · 05/08/2025 22:55

I know OP is in the wrong as she has broken the law.

I just cannot get into the headspace of someone who deliberately goes out cycling to get people caught like this! Why?

Some people can make quite a bit of money doing YouTube videos about this kind of stuff. A lot do it with dash cams. All over the world.

Nursingadvice · 05/08/2025 22:59

Sounds like cycling Mikey. He’s an utter prick.

DietQueen2023 · 05/08/2025 23:00

Laura95167 · 05/08/2025 22:34

There is a proportion of women on MN who seem to say, anytime they are caught breaking the law by a policeman that they "felt" intimidated because the policeman was male.

He was doing his job.

Feel how you like, but this man was doing his job a prescribed. Cyclists of either gender could be stopped beside you in traffic. He didnt make any motion to suggest he was attempting to entre your vehicle. He behaved the same with multiple vehicles. And presumably there will be video footage.

You were in a car, engine running, in traffic touching your phone. You were guilty. Pay the fine and let it go.

This 💯

Swipe left for the next trending thread