Would you want to reconnect with cousins after this?

[eastendegal]

At 16/17 I kind of went through a typical teenage phase drinking, boys etc and as result of this I was disowned by my cousins and older siblings.

They themselves would do everything I was doing but because they were older (in 20s and 30s) they had a massive issue with it.

Cut a long story short I had to leave home and went through homelessness etc but I found myself and met an amazing man who happened to be very wealthy and have been with him since I was 22, I’m now 33.

We have 2 kids together with a third on the way.

I only have contact with my parents.

My siblings and cousins have tried to reconnect with me over the years but I just can’t forgive them for how they treated me and how I suffered a lot of verbal abuse at their hands especially from my sister.

My parents visited over the weekend and we took pictures which my mum posted on social media and it again prompted a reaction from a cousin who wants to meet up.

Nobody was there for me (apart from my parents) when I really needed them and was alone but now all of a sudden they want to reconnect after all these years.

They could of asked my parents for my number earlier, (cousins didn’t even ask for my number it was only because our parents were going on holiday and my mum asked my cousin to text me so I know they landed ok).

I am not interested as I feel it’s too late.

AIBU?

well done OP on keeping those people out of your life after everything they did to you, it can be hard when it’s family members but you did the right thing. They’re violent people don’t go any where near them and absolutely don’t let them in your children’s lives ever, no matter how much your parents ask you to. When your children get older ensure they don’t contact them and they know the reason why.
All you need to say to your parents is ‘they’re violent people I won’t ever let them in my life again’
if they keep bugging you, move and make sure they don’t find out where you are. Meet your parents at their home or mutual ground.

Up to you , you could go and see if they apologise. However the likelihood is once they get back in they are likely to revert to the previous behaviour albeit maybe not in such a n obvious way. I would trust your instincts and shut it down.

This.

You could see what they’ve got to say, how they are, you don’t have to continue contact if you don’t want to.

They may not have know how to contact, if they even should, how you’d respond, etc.. obviously there’s their side here too, their own trauma from this too.

Ultimately your choice though.

Actually, upon reading ALL your updates, OP, you are probably best off without the contact.

Protect yourself.

Not worth the hassle. They sound insistent and points to them not having changed their core aggressive/dominant nature. And you’re very right to protect your children from the wrong kind of people. That’s what a parent does. There’s plenty of good people in this world, why give time and headspace to bad ones?