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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be worried about my son’s emotional development

104 replies

AlertEagle · 04/08/2025 23:17

My child has just finished year 2, school report was great but had a meeting with school to talk about his emotional wellbeing at school. Teacher said he gets upset easily and cries, struggles with friendships. She says some days he is absolutely fine but most days he struggles with his feelings. He can be mean to friends and when they are mean back to him he runs to the teacher to say they don’t want to play with him when in reality he’s the one who’s starting things and ends up in tears. School thinks it’s attention seeking and emotional disregulation. He went to a holiday club this past week and they said at times he argues with other children and perceives the situation as in someone is being mean to him when in fact he is also being mean. For example he refused to hold a child’s hand then decided he wants to hold his hand, then the child didn’t want to hold hands anymore so he told an adult the child is being mean to him which isn’t true. I’ve watch him play with other children and he can be just fine and play nicely but the moment someone does something he doesn’t like he struggles. For example there was a child who joined the big swing he was on with his friends and the other children started saying swear words to everyone, my son asked him to get off the swing and the child said no. I said you get off and you can come back later he said no he is swearing he should get off not me.

another examples there is a girl who bosses children around and that triggers him. He’s constantly shouting at her to stop and leave him alone. Another girl takes things from him and runs around wanting him to chase her and he doesn’t like it he ends up shouting at her to stop as well. When this happened I told him just let it go don’t chase her don’t pay attention to her go play with someone else, she’s not very nice. Another mother overheard and said it’s my son being mean by shouting instead of saying nicely, I told her he did ask her to stop 3 times and she didn’t.

He doesn’t have any send so I don’t have any support from school but constant telling of how he is doing at school.

oh and another examples there was a kid kicking my son my son asked him to stop he didn’t so my son shouted at him then the teacher turned around and told my son off for shouting I saw the whole thing and told her what happened she said she will tell the others kid parents.

so far I’ve told my son to walk away when he feels he will shout at someone. He promises me all the time he will be a good boy but every time it ends up with teacher telling what’s happened. I feel like walking on eggshells

OP posts:
AlertEagle · 11/08/2025 14:06

GiveDogBone · 05/08/2025 21:35

Is there a father figure in the child’s life?

Hello just seen your comment, no there isn’t. He left when my son when he was younger, showed up again about a year ago and left again. It left my son very distressed and a lot of behaviour issues happened around that time.

OP posts:
Wildefish · 11/08/2025 16:29

AlertEagle · 11/08/2025 13:54

Yes it could be his personality, I’m working on trying to help him develop coping strategies when he is in a conflict with another child. I’ve had a positive feedback from the holiday club last week, they said he’s been fine no issues. Thanks to everyone who offered their advice, I have written everything down and it has helped him :)

That’s good. Give him time and the information he needs to handle situations and lots of praise. He’ll get there.

MyLimeGuide · 11/08/2025 16:37

He sounds autistic. And possibly struggling with the Dad leaving? I think the school should be doing more to help you. 💛

GiveDogBone · 11/08/2025 22:25

AlertEagle · 11/08/2025 14:06

Hello just seen your comment, no there isn’t. He left when my son when he was younger, showed up again about a year ago and left again. It left my son very distressed and a lot of behaviour issues happened around that time.

Yes, this could very easily be at the root cause of the problems. If you can afford it and have access, it might be worth seeing a child psychologist with your son to work through these issues.

As an aside, you’ll see on most posts, the first thing all the MN man-haters recommend is to dump the father of the children - for all sorts of trivial reasons - and become a single mother, completely ignoring all the damage that can cause.

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