Page 8 | Ways middle aged men have told us off this week

Siblingsadness · 2025-08-04T09:06:16+00:00

I've got 2 today and it's not even midday yet I swim every day at 6am . There's normally about 6 of us, today I had the pool all to myself. I swam in one of the lanes as i am working on staying straight during certain strokes. After about 20 minutes a man got in the pool. I've seen him before, he always goes in the unlaned bit and does physio walking up and down. Today he came over to the lane and said I shouldn't be in there as its the fast lane and I wasn't fast. I thought he was joking so I laughed. He then said he wasn't joking and I needed to move. Of course I told him not to be ridiculous, no one else was in here and if someone fast wanted it, I'd move. He called me a silly batch. Then just now in tescos, I was in the pasta aisle and a man picked up a jar of pasta sauce and said "is this any good" I said I wasn't sure sorry, I normally just get the passata and put onion and garlic in it. He sort of mocked me and said "ooh good cook are you" I said yes, I'm OK and I enjoy it too. He then said "well at least I can parallel park you silly cow" Now I know I just encountered 2 nutters (maybe a third is on the way) but I'm a bit cheeky and a cow before lunch today despite just going for a swim and buying cheaper pasta ingredients. 🤣🤣

spoonbillstretford · 04/08/2025 12:02

Siblingsadness · 04/08/2025 12:01

Nope not at all how the conversation went .
My comment was about how I just bung onion and garlic in passage. Not in the slightest showing off, actually self deprecating and to do with price. Didn't warrant his response at all.

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It certainly didn't warrant the response about parking, I agree.

siliconcover · 04/08/2025 12:02

KimberleyClark · 04/08/2025 10:34

The first one,fair enough he was a twat. But the second one, why wouldn’t you just say “I don’t know, I’ve never tried it” instead of going into detail about your own cooking, which wasn’t what he was asking?

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I dint think OPS ordinary conversation is the problems? If, as a woman, I asked another woman about the virtues of a pre-made pasta sauce & she said 'oh I just usually buy passata & add onions & garlic' I'd just say, ah, good idea, thanks'. Either because I do know this but had forgotten or I don't therefore it's a potentially helpful tip to have. Or I don't care but see no need to get rude to someone who was being pleasant & potentially helpful.

Original poster

Siblingsadness · 04/08/2025 12:03

dynamiccactus · 04/08/2025 11:54

Well to redress the balance a bit I am a middle aged woman and told off two people this morning when I was out for a run.

One didn't give way to me as I was crossing a side road and then proceeded to turn in very slowly as I was waiting to cross behind them so I told the driver (a woman) to hurry up. No idea if she could hear or lip-read though! I get fed up when people won't give way as the Highway Code requires but then dawdle.

The other had parked on a pavement leaving me very little room to pass and then he started to move off as I got to him so I told him off too.

They both drove in a dangerous/inconsiderate way so I was allowed to tell them off. Your two cases seem very weird OP.

Nope not weird. Truly happened

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GreenCandleWax · 04/08/2025 12:03

spoonbillstretford · 04/08/2025 11:59

Yeah I had that when I was out with a group of mums on maternity leave - first time we'd met up in a café and not the health centre with babies, all feeling a bit brave. I was one of the youngest at 29. Guy came over and started berating us about feckless teenage single mothers, and where were the fathers? Erm, recently gone back to work after paternity leave? It was a weekday mid morning.

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As if he would have gone up to a bunch of feckless dads in a pub and said that!
The men on this thread all seem to be bullies who oick on women rather than other men, but why? 😞

Triumphofdiplomacy · 04/08/2025 12:04

I flew home from a work trip yesterday. Was one of the last boarding and there was a middle aged man on the aisle seat and two empty seats window and middle. He must thought he’d got lucky with a row fully to himself.

I turned up and was booked in the middle seat. I went to sit in it (he moved out to let me in) I got my seat belt and he snatched it back and said ‘you have the wrong one’. I didn’t have the wrong one - he was just raging I’d tuned up.

I could have taken the free window seat but I thought ‘fuck you’ and I stayed right next to him the whole time while he bitched under his breath to his partner across the aisle.

Wanker.

GreenCandleWax · 04/08/2025 12:04

Sorry, pick on women.

PleaseAccepyMyUserNames · 04/08/2025 12:05

I genuinely believe these people are spoiling for a fight; something bad happened and they are looking to take it out on someone. I think they are disappointed when you don't take the bait, which weirdly only increases their anger (hence the batch/cow follow ups)!
I once parked outside a house, on a public road, with no other cars around. When I went to leave, the owner had returned and blocked me with 2 vehicles! He came out from the house as he saw me assessing the situation, and started abusing me for parking there. I burst out laughing (because it was ridiculous and he was being ridiculous) which seemed to shock him and immediately popped his bile bubble. He moved his car, I said thank you and gave him a cheery bye bye. I'm always sure to smile when I see him now 😊
That said, have had my fair share of unsolicited rude comments from a bewilderingly wide cross-section of society, unfortunately.

Original poster

Siblingsadness · 04/08/2025 12:06

spoonbillstretford · 04/08/2025 12:02

It certainly didn't warrant the response about parking, I agree.

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Or me being called names

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Ireallycantthinkofagoodone · 04/08/2025 12:07

Goldeh · 04/08/2025 10:25

Driving along a residential street, cars parked along the roadside in the other lane. A car comes from the opposite direction, has good visibility and can definitely see me. Instead of pausing at the end of the parked cars and waiting for me to finish passing them, he pulls into my lane. I put the brakes on because he's entirely in my lane and not slowing down. He puts his brakes on, leans out the window and starts giving me a mouthful about having right of way because "you give way to the right you dozy cow". Told him I have priority in my own lane and as the obstruction is on his side, he has to give way to me. He told me I don't know how to drive and "fuck off with your dyed hair". Not sure what my dyed hair has to do with anything but he grudgingly reversed back to the end of the row of cars and offered one last "you give way to the right, bitch" as I drove past.

What a completely mad man! Maybe he uses that phrase for everything, but in the scenario you described, you were on his right, in exactly the way he was on your right.

I think that some men find it impossible to admit they are ever wrong, but he knew he was, as he had to reverse to where he should have waited in the first place.

Dahliasrule · 04/08/2025 12:09

Goldeh · 04/08/2025 10:25

Driving along a residential street, cars parked along the roadside in the other lane. A car comes from the opposite direction, has good visibility and can definitely see me. Instead of pausing at the end of the parked cars and waiting for me to finish passing them, he pulls into my lane. I put the brakes on because he's entirely in my lane and not slowing down. He puts his brakes on, leans out the window and starts giving me a mouthful about having right of way because "you give way to the right you dozy cow". Told him I have priority in my own lane and as the obstruction is on his side, he has to give way to me. He told me I don't know how to drive and "fuck off with your dyed hair". Not sure what my dyed hair has to do with anything but he grudgingly reversed back to the end of the row of cars and offered one last "you give way to the right, bitch" as I drove past.

Stupid man. You were on his right as well as him being on yours!
Quite right. Highway Code says he should have given way!

hazelowens · 04/08/2025 12:12

AM1994 · 04/08/2025 10:17

When I worked on a till at a supermarket and was pregnant an older man pointed at my pregnant tummy and said you know there’s others things you can do like watch TV. I was pregnant with my second child, married, late 20s. Not that that should matter anyway. Then he got his receipt and walked off. I was fuming, as was the lady behind him who had heard

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Yes I got told off by an older man when I was pregnant with my oldest for being young and stupid and he was fed up paying for all these young mum's to sit on their arse whilst he worked 6 days out of 7. I was 22, married and working full time as was my husband. I just stood there dumbstruck that someone would say that.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 04/08/2025 12:13

They said what to you!? My god that’s completely bizarre.

summertimeinLondon · 04/08/2025 12:14

WFHforevermore · 04/08/2025 11:45

Wow. An old person reaches out with a silly comment, could be his only interaction with another person all day and you fester over the comment.

Refer to him a silly old buggar and then go out of your way to belittle and embarrass him, really nice, hope it made you feel good.

And dont bother replying drip-feeding with all his other silly old comments to you, because i wont be reading them!

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Don’t be so daft, shouting “cheer up”/“cheer up love, it might never happen”/“give us a smile” and so on at women is a well-known piece of misogyny/street harassment.

It used to be very common for men to do this in the street to women/girls who weren’t “looking pretty” where I grew up. Especially builders on building sites. (@MostlyGhostly that was in the north west, too!) Thankfully it’s decreased a lot these days, but some older men clearly still think it’s funny/fine to say. (The implication of course is that women are there to be decorative, and should be smiling nicely to benefit a man’s day.)

It definitely isn’t some kind of nice social overture from a lonely old gent, and if you think it is then you’re extremely naive, I’m afraid.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 04/08/2025 12:14

Gosh, aren't some men (mostly middle aged ones) such twats?! 😂

I have a wee tale. Not a middle aged man but one aged about 85 - in our village. Pleasant, affable chap, but lives in the past.

I was doing the gardening the other week, (weeding/potting/cutting bushes,) and he said 'shouldn't your husband be doing that?' I said 'nooooo, I love gardening!'

He looked baffled and said it wasn't my job to do it, and shouldn't I be 'making my hubby's dinner?!' (His words!) I said 'nah, he's cooking dinner, while I do the garden!' He likes cooking, I like gardening!

You could see his mind struggling to fathom what on EARTH was going on! 😆

He just walked off muttering to himself!

Pedallleur · 04/08/2025 12:14

Don't quote the Highway Code. Invariably get the response I don't give fk about the Highway Code to which I reply that might not be the best defence to use in Court.

BillStickersWillBeProsocuted · 04/08/2025 12:15

I realise I'm probably missing something, but why did you get in to the fast lane if they were all free and you know you're not a fast swimmer?

You didn't deserve the telling off or the insult but it seems to me you're making your own life harder having to keep an eye on if anyone else is getting in the pool and potentially move rather than just get in the lane you'd usually use?

Original poster

Siblingsadness · 04/08/2025 12:16

BillStickersWillBeProsocuted · 04/08/2025 12:15

I realise I'm probably missing something, but why did you get in to the fast lane if they were all free and you know you're not a fast swimmer?

You didn't deserve the telling off or the insult but it seems to me you're making your own life harder having to keep an eye on if anyone else is getting in the pool and potentially move rather than just get in the lane you'd usually use?

It's the first lane after the unlaned bit. My life is not made harder by ducking under one lane divider IF someone gets in who wants or needs the fast lane

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IgnoranceIsStrength · 04/08/2025 12:17

I've had 2 in 2 days, one today telling me to fuck off out the way when I was pulled out the way to the side in a car park and he wanted to get past. There was enough space for a large minivan to get past me but that wasn't enough for angry man. My kids were shocked at the torrent of abuse. Also flying back from holiday when my polite request to turn the iPad down to his daughter was met with 'you fucking bitch how dare you talk to my kids, pick on someone your own size'. The girl had agreed politely and even turned it down but he whacked it up to full volume. That was a fun flight

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 04/08/2025 12:17

spoonbillstretford · 04/08/2025 11:52

The first one was a dick, but you didn't need to say anything to the second other than "Sorry, I've never tried it." @Siblingsadness His comment about parking was ridiculous but I thought you sounded a bit insecure and oneupping talking about the passata. I do the same but wouldn't need to mention this to someone buying a jar of sauce.

If you were asking about dried herbs and another woman said to you "Oh, I don't know dear, I grow all mine and only use fresh herbs" what would you think?

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I would think she was maybe being friendly and extending the interchange beyond the mere ‘ No’. I might ask her what difference fresh herbs make ( since you can buy them in every supermarket, both packed and growing in a pot). I might ask her what sort of garden she had.

Thats the sort of interchange we have quite often in Aldi, Waitrose and Tesco round here. I’ve been introduced to several products I wouldn’t have tried by other women telling me about them in the queue, and I have made several converts to the Tesco mesh bags for loose veg when people have asked me where the bags are.

But people on MN are such offence seekers (though I would have replied to the first bloke that actually it’s pretty easy to make a sauce like that, he should try it, and then walked off).

Tablesandchairs23 · 04/08/2025 12:18

Tell them to fuck off and get on with your day. They're are the problem not you

MasterBeth · 04/08/2025 12:19

frozendaisy · 04/08/2025 10:18

They wouldn’t say any of this to another man would they?

Not the pregnant stuff, certainly...

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 04/08/2025 12:21

Sdpbody · 04/08/2025 11:25

It is so annoying that men don't try this shit with me. I am so confrontational and I am generally up for violence.

A man once asked me not to breastfeed in a café (I was covered) so I pulled my top up and got both boobs out on full show and just stared at him whilst feeding. After 5 minutes, he got up and left.

I can't tell you how in awe of this response I am.
<bows down, reverently>

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 04/08/2025 12:22

BrunchBarBandit · 04/08/2025 11:48

I had a Morrisons car park one recently. The car parked next to me had its rear door open next to my passenger side and the man and woman were unloading their trolley into their boot. There was no discernible reason for the door to be open. They weren’t putting anything on to the back seat or getting into it. The door was just open. My young son had to walk round the car to get into the passenger seat, which was fine of course. I loaded my shopping quickly then got ready to reverse out of my space only I didn’t want to hit their open door as it was right up against my car. I waited a minute or so to see if they’d notice I was ready to leave/shut the door but they didn’t so I called out through my back open window , ‘ excuse me, would you mind shutting your rear door as I’d hate to scratch it on my way out’. The bloke loomed over towards my car and shouted ‘fuck you, you fucking bitch’, whilst slamming the door shut.

It was so shocking and so unexpected but as I pulled out I leaned over and caught his wife’s eye and said ‘I’m sorry for you’. But I was shaking the whole way home and my son was very upset too

My god! How the hell didn’t you get back out of the car and go up to him? I honestly don’t think I could have done anything but blow that situation sky high. I commend you.

TheignT · 04/08/2025 12:22

MasterBeth · 04/08/2025 12:19

Not the pregnant stuff, certainly...

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Although some have a beer belly that rivals many a pregnant bump.

Goditsmemargaret · 04/08/2025 12:23

Yes very weird posters here.

He's allowed to turn around to a random woman and ask if a jar of sauce is good but you're not allowed to make a throwaway comment about what you use?

A pp gave the example of someone responding they only grow fresh herbs. What would be wrong with that reply? If I'm striking up a conversation with a randomer about dried herbs, I'm most likely up for a chat about growing herbs. This wouldn't be strange at all where I live to have a chat about something like that. Honestly why all the hostility?

OP those men were absolute dickheads. I'm so sorry you had both those experiences today. The only similar I can think of is a man angrily supervising my parking (which was inconveniencing nobody in a nearly empty car park). I was practicing my parallel parking, he had seen me and charged over to interfere looking furious. I stopped the car mid process, stepped out and yelled "can I help you?" He scarpered.

The sad reality though is that getting into conflict with men like you encountered is potentially unsafe. Let's face it; they are trying to wind you up. I think with both I would sigh and say "why are you calling me names? I am busy enough today already and now I have to waste my own free time finding a manager so I can report this. How bloody annoying."