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Original poster

Ways middle aged men have told us off this week

572 replies

Siblingsadness · 04/08/2025 10:06

I've got 2 today and it's not even midday yet
I swim every day at 6am . There's normally about 6 of us, today I had the pool all to myself. I swam in one of the lanes as i am working on staying straight during certain strokes. After about 20 minutes a man got in the pool. I've seen him before, he always goes in the unlaned bit and does physio walking up and down.
Today he came over to the lane and said I shouldn't be in there as its the fast lane and I wasn't fast. I thought he was joking so I laughed. He then said he wasn't joking and I needed to move. Of course I told him not to be ridiculous, no one else was in here and if someone fast wanted it, I'd move. He called me a silly batch.
Then just now in tescos, I was in the pasta aisle and a man picked up a jar of pasta sauce and said "is this any good" I said I wasn't sure sorry, I normally just get the passata and put onion and garlic in it. He sort of mocked me and said "ooh good cook are you" I said yes, I'm OK and I enjoy it too. He then said "well at least I can parallel park you silly cow"
Now I know I just encountered 2 nutters (maybe a third is on the way) but I'm a bit cheeky and a cow before lunch today despite just going for a swim and buying cheaper pasta ingredients. 🤣🤣

OP posts:
Sixtygoingonthirty · 04/08/2025 12:46

Daisypod · 04/08/2025 11:15

i have 5 children and when people (mostly men) say this to be I reply with ‘if you think tv is better than sex you’re doing it wrong) usually shuts them up!

Show quote history

🤣🤣 love this!

milkandhoney2 · 04/08/2025 12:47

I don’t get much if any comments but I wouldn’t doubt you - I’m just 5ft 10 and look like I can flatten most men so they tend to not bother I think

did have one that tried to tell me I needed all new tyres as they were cracked and argued when I said I just wanted the punctured one changing. He then asked me where I worked and I replied with <luxury car brand> at which point he STFU and never said another word

QuantumLevelActions · 04/08/2025 12:47

V0lcanicAshCl0uds · 04/08/2025 12:41

I was driving our shared old car

Daylight
Alone reversed into a parking space with a wall behind the car, no issues

Evening, dark
I reversed into the exact same spot, whilst talking to partner at 5mph
Spare wheel hit the wall & window smashed !
I usually never do reverse parking !

My partner did not moan !

A couple of days later he said,
"I've found a replacement door, we need to collect it"
New door on roof rack
Old door removed
New door fitted
Everyone happy

Not all middle age men are idiots !

He is a keeper

How is this relevant?

CremeBruhlee · 04/08/2025 12:48

I am surprised that people haven’t experienced much of this as I expect that if you are a woman and have regularly used public transport, gym or classes or even walks for exercise alone, travelled alone with work or for pleasure or generally encountered lone men alone (without other men or women with you - kids can often not count) or even got taxis this will have been a common occurrence.

It has been my experience for years and years. It stepped up a lot when I was pregnant too. Once being heavily criticised by a male optician when he asked about my plans to return to work after a years mat leave. But this is just the iceberg of unsolicited advice.

Aggressive interactions, road rage and name calling less so but regularly enough to be unpleasant.

Comments from male strangers about driving an electric car. Recent comment ‘I hope it sets fire’ muttered to my child and I as we were parked at school pickup!

We live in a village that was voted among ‘hottest place to live’ with house prices recently so nothing unique about the area. Labour council and pretty liberal generally.

Angry men seem to be everywhere :-( My husband has said it sometimes makes him ashamed to be a man……

Zanzara · 04/08/2025 12:49

skymagentatwo · 04/08/2025 11:02

Not sure where you live OP, but your story has had more negative and abusive interactions with men and other people than I have had in the last 5 years.

Not sure if its a man thing or a you thing, but then again we only have your side of the story. 🤔

Edited

There is absolutely no reason to doubt what the OP wrote, it sounds highly credible to me, unless you think she's not had enough rubbish from other people for one day.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 04/08/2025 12:50

He told me I don't know how to drive and "fuck off with your dyed hair". Not sure what my dyed hair has to do with anything

I don't know why but this tickled me - I think Fuck Off with your dyed hair will be my new inner voice curse , alongside Off you fuck cunty chops .
If you were mean you could say "Wellll at least I have some hair to dye"

I was on the receiving end of a very smartly dressed but completely irrational man who raged at me as I reversed ( but oddly enough not at the male driver who parked on a dropped kerb with the bumpy bits on it and narrowed the road )

I didn't get out the car , I let him rant then told him "Are you done now ? Before you rupture something "?

When he drove off the driver behind him wound his window down ( I thought "Don't you start as well matey" ) but he asked if I was okay after this .

Hopefully the Ranty Driver went off and thought about what an arse he was but unlikely .

ThisCatCanHop · 04/08/2025 12:51

I was in McDonalds the other day and was told by a middle aged man that my DC had taken his DC’s screen when he hadn’t finished with it. (It was one of those McDonalds with a row of screens that have games on for kids to play while they wait.) I just stared at him. He obviously thought I was a bit hard of thinking so repeated slowly and asked me to move my DC. Slight problem: the child in question wasn’t with me. But when in doubt, let’s assume the nearest woman will sort it out, eh?

(I wouldn’t have minded at all if he’d started with “Is this little boy with you?” - it was just the assumption that child must belong to nearest woman, not family of five at the next bench…)

Zanzara · 04/08/2025 12:53

CautiousLurker01 · 04/08/2025 11:05

Think this goes to show it is not young men [incels] who are the issue - they are simply not disguising the attitudes that many men have always had and which they feel is validated by talking to and seeing these obnoxious middle aged men behave the way they do. These days I count myself lucky that my DH, DS and FIL - well, and the male friends my DH has had decades long relationships with - are nothing like these men. I hope they are the majority, but if SM is to be believed wankers like these are becoming more brazen and emboldened.

Hope you have a twat free afternoon!!

They certainly are an issue, not least because of all that misguided testosterone and strength, but you make an interesting and valid point @CautiousLurker01.

speakout · 04/08/2025 12:55

OP these are perfect ocassions to hone your woman power.

Gives you good opportunities to practice your reaction and any response.

You can of course totally ignore these men- a powerful message- that they are not even worth your effort and time.- you owe them nothing, especially if they are being rude. Stare past them and continue as if they were not there.
Or you can be rude- tell them to piss off- perfect if there are no witnesses.

A few weeks ago I nipped into Tesco one Sunday morning to buy a newspaper - it was before 8am.

I pulled my car into a normal parking spot- there were literally 100s of empty places, only 2 or 3 cars.
My parking was a little random, I knew I wasn't inconveniencing anyone - and only one item to buy.

As I walked into the store a customer started shouting at me in the car park. He said " what a bloody mess, look how badly you have partked, blood women- typical!"

I stopped and started to walk towards him, my eyes fixed. I was only 6 inches from his face and said in a low but forceful voice " WHY_ DONT- YOU - JUST - FUCK OFF" The look in his eyes was one of fear - he obviously wasn't expecting a 60 year old woman to face him off. He backed off quickly, still looking a bit afraid, wondering no doubt if he had picked on a mad axe women. He actually trotted/half ran back to his car..

Still makes me smile to think of it!

PuppiesProzacProsecco · 04/08/2025 12:56

Not today but I once had a man rush up to me on a garage forecourt to tell me that I was putting petrol in a diesel vehicle. Told him nope, it's a petrol car.

He insisted I was wrong because this particular make and model didn't come in a petrol, only diesel. Again told him it was petrol and he replied "well, you can tell your husband I tried to stop you and you wouldn't listen".

Springersrock · 04/08/2025 12:57

I had to take my daughter to a hospital appointment this morning.

Got the train and thought fuck it, let’s get an Uber from the station up to the hospital.

Came out of the station and our Uber pulled up, just as we’re getting in it, some bloke comes marching up to me, grabbed my arm and then starts banging on about taxi rank etiquette, there was a queue and I’d stolen his taxi.

I shook him off, told him to get his hands off me, that it was my uber that I had ordered, got in the car and shut the door.

He starts banging on the window so I gave him the finger. I wasn’t tired, didn’t sleep very well, train was delayed and just had no headspace for twats.

Original poster
Siblingsadness · 04/08/2025 12:57

Fifthtimelucky · 04/08/2025 12:43

No. I genuinely can’t remember ever experiencing anything like this.

The OP’s second example was worse I think. Whilst it wasn’t necessary for him to point it out, the first man was right (assuming that there were other lanes that she could have used). If she was swimming slowly, she should have been in a slow lane.

Obviously while she was the only person swimming in lanes it didn’t really matter, but if a fast swimmer had turned up they probably wouldn’t have shared her lane - they would have been more likely to use a slow/medium lane so they could have it to themselves. Then as others turned up they wouldn’t have known whether to go into the correct lane for their speed or into a lane where the existing swimmers are swimming at the speed they want to go.

Much easier if everyone uses the right lane in the first place!

Show quote history

Nope. If a fast swimmer had come, I would have either speeded up or switched , or chatted to them and said , here you go here, I'll move

OP posts:
Paganpentacle · 04/08/2025 12:59

Overitallnow · 04/08/2025 10:57

At the airport last week sat down next to a middle aged man who was manspreading. Nudged his leg to get him to move as it was clear he wasn't going to. I saw out of the corner of my eye him texting in enormous letters " a fat British woman has just sat on my knee".

should have laughed in his face and said ... OOh you wish ...

Touchwood2654 · 04/08/2025 12:59

Whatareyoutalkingaboutnow · 04/08/2025 11:39

A man watched me walking my dog a few weeks ago, and came over said "can I give you a piece of advice". I said "no thanks, you keep it". Ever since I've wondered what it was.🤔 Probably nothing important.

Hahaha! I bet he was fuming! 🤣🤣🤣
Trust me, it would have been patronising and pointless.
I will use that line. Love it!

AlertCat · 04/08/2025 13:00

Goldeh · 04/08/2025 10:25

Driving along a residential street, cars parked along the roadside in the other lane. A car comes from the opposite direction, has good visibility and can definitely see me. Instead of pausing at the end of the parked cars and waiting for me to finish passing them, he pulls into my lane. I put the brakes on because he's entirely in my lane and not slowing down. He puts his brakes on, leans out the window and starts giving me a mouthful about having right of way because "you give way to the right you dozy cow". Told him I have priority in my own lane and as the obstruction is on his side, he has to give way to me. He told me I don't know how to drive and "fuck off with your dyed hair". Not sure what my dyed hair has to do with anything but he grudgingly reversed back to the end of the row of cars and offered one last "you give way to the right, bitch" as I drove past.

HRTFT but what an idiot, you give way to the right AT A ROUNDABOUT but the person who has the obstruction in their lane should give way in this scenario. As you said.

it’s no wonder men are “in crisis”. A huge proportion of them have never learned how not to be knobs.

PullTheBricksDown · 04/08/2025 13:02

myplace · 04/08/2025 11:15

Love this. Was helping DM, so struggling a bit with her case going down the stairs. A man quietly grabbed the handle from me and continued on at speed down the stairs, released it at the bottom and continued on his way without breaking stride or glancing back.

No need for effusive thanks or embarrassment, just sheer utilitarian helpfulness.

He also sped up the obstacle we were for all the other travellers!

Show quote history

Yes, just to show there are exceptions, I still remember struggling to walk up stairs at a train station with a heavy case, and a man said 'let me help you with that' took and carried it up for me, then put it down and walked on. I said 'thank you!' as he walked away. True unselfish helpfulness!

Daleksatemyshed · 04/08/2025 13:03

I meet two sorts of middle aged men in queues, shops etc

  1. me and middle aged man waiting in a queue, he's buying lottery tickets, we have a quick chat about winning your fortune, laugh about how easy picking the right 6 numbers seemed at the start, both leave happy.
  2. Covid times, I'm masked up, only man in the quote holding forth to the women about how it's rubbish, anti vax, anti mask, tries very hard to pick a fight with me. I ignore him, he raves some more then strops off.

Lots of older men can hold a decent conversation with women, they're the ones who don't start by trying to tell you off

EdithBond · 04/08/2025 13:03

I’ve had a number of men be rude or intimidating to me when they’ve turned up in the fast lane at pools. Appearing to think I should now move to the middle lane because they’ve arrived and want to swim faster than me. When I’d already moved to the fast lane because I was faster than everyone in the middle. Several have then effectively bullied me out of the fast lane by almost swimming between my legs or leaving me gulping in a wave as they splash past.

Yet when women faster than me have arrived, they’ve simply swum past me with care (as I do when passing slower swimmers).

Patriarchal entitlement.

Horses7 · 04/08/2025 13:03

Wow - how appalling. report it to Management of Pool/supermarket at the time if it happens again and make sure they record it. Follow up with email.
I don’t normally swear but I think at such terrible behaviour I’d say F off you idiot (or worse) then ignore ….. or just yawn at them. Definitely report it though don’t let them get away with this harassment.

Canijustsayonething · 04/08/2025 13:03

Jaws2025 · 04/08/2025 11:34

I felt like saying something rude to someone who has stopped the car in a place that blocked the road recently. I didn't as I knew there was the potential for him to get angry and it to escalate. I wonder is this why men turn on women, as they feel we're a safe target for their aggression - if they pick on another man there's always the chance he'll turn out to be stronger/angrier than them.

Similar when (it's always) a man says 'cheer up love' or 'morning love' when you just so happen to walk past them (as a local market stall holder did the other day). They'd never say that to another bloke would they and I've never had it said to me whilst walking with my 6'4" DH; but I have when I'm alone. 🙄

PullTheBricksDown · 04/08/2025 13:05

Many good replies here but alongside those, perhaps a revival of 'thanks for your comments, random man' would be in order!

ukathleticscoach · 04/08/2025 13:05

Fast lane on a running track is for faster efforts. That is based on an individual effort not how fast you are going.

The same would apply to a swimming pool the guy is the jerk he is not going to the Olympics - unless it like 6 am when they train and in that case closed to public.

Mrsbunnychops · 04/08/2025 13:05

I find a lot of men of all ages are becoming like this!! Reading your experiences didn’t shock me sadly. I have neighbours like this too - they are extremely condescending to my single female neighbour. It’s awful, yet they don’t do it to me as I have a husband I’m presuming!! However, in our little road, the men use a what’s app group to discuss things like tree issues, broadband issues (our street is awaiting this) pot hole repairs etc, I only know about it from my husband. My single neighbour gets completely left out!! They are all middle aged to slightly older men!! My FIL is also like this and regularly “tells me off” too (and he tells off my mum about stuff when she’s there too!!) . Why us it?? It really annoys me!!

Judiezones · 04/08/2025 13:05

winzom · 04/08/2025 10:54

I find some women are much worse at times.

I ignore men who try to mansplain or just annoy me, unless I need something from the top shelf of the supermarket, being a real shortarse lol 😊

The supermarket shelf thing- I'm fairly tall, I have been asked a couple of times to reach things for short people and I don't mind. At the moment I have a frozen shoulder, very painful. I was in Asda and a woman asked me to get something from a high shelf. I had my basket on my good arm so I said no, sorry, I can't lift my arm that high, it's a frozen shoulder. She looked disgusted and as I walked away she muttered Selfish bitch!
I was flabbergasted.

MsMcG · 04/08/2025 13:06

hazelowens · 04/08/2025 12:12

Yes I got told off by an older man when I was pregnant with my oldest for being young and stupid and he was fed up paying for all these young mum's to sit on their arse whilst he worked 6 days out of 7. I was 22, married and working full time as was my husband. I just stood there dumbstruck that someone would say that.

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This always baffles me. I remember my sister being subjected to rude comments about unemployed, single mothers while out with her newborn. Clearly they didn't stop to find out she was in a 15 year relationship and on maternity leave from her full time job. I'll never understand why people make completely random assumptions and are then unpleasant enough to voice them.