Reasons men have given you the ick part 2!

[CircularMotionDementedThrustingGuy]

Thread number 1
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5383729-please-tell-me-times-where-youve-got-the-ick-with-a-guy?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

i don't know how many more experiences will be shared but I'm hoping to continue the thread because thread number one has given me so so so many laughs.
I still have a lot of ick stories to share so without further ado..

Went on a date and the guy had what I can only describe as white string on his lips. I kept licking my lips in the hope he'd twig but to no avail I ended up saying DUDE you have a massive white string when you talk can you wipe it off.

didn't go down well and didn't see him again.

I had a ONS with a work colleague when I was 17 from a supermarket Saturday job. He kept referring to his.. Achem.. package as THE BIG DADDY.
it wasn't. That was a humbling experience.

please share yours!

(also it's same OP I've just got a shiny new username)

I flew to meet someone I was dating who lived in a European city. We had lunch and he asked the waiter to box up the leftovers rudely. Then a few hours later whilst we waited for my flight back, he took the congealed leftovers out of his rucksack and laid them out on the table.

Also, thread number one is so worth a read if you want to howl with laughter. I hope some people come along with some inspired new usernames because that was the best part!

Why is it always a backpack 😭

bonus points again if it's been turned into a frontpack

I haven’t read all of your last thread yet, but the “Receive my dick! Receive it!” post has me still giggling this morning 🤣.

Thank you so much for starting another thread, I had no idea there were so many strange creatures out there!

He ate an entire pizza, which is fine. Not an issue. But then became very bloated to the point you could see his belly was distended through his shirt. Then kept doing those silent burps that stunk of grease and cheese. Then tried to kiss me.

Ah yes. @InstantIck2 won the whole thread with that one I had genuine tears rolling

I have another one to add.

I was seeing a guy for a bit and I genuinely liked him. Had his shit together. Handsome. Good job. Funny.

we went to his bedroom and I was about to DTD with him for the first time. (Had done everything else just not PIV)

he has a stack of hair bobbles on his bedside table. Dude had a short back and sides. The cynic in me asked if they were for another woman..

he vehemently declined and said that he likes to endure tightness around his balls whilst having sex and proceeded to tie his bollocks up as if they were a ponytail which made them swing away like a grandfather clock.

that was another time I dried up and left.
was gutted. Liked him n all.

I can't believe I forgot to add that one as that one's probably my worst one.. I'm still wondering to this day how he came up with the idea of tying his damn bollocks up

Oh, the one who always said 'Madame' on opening a car door. Nice gesture in itself, but the constant Madame-ing was a giant irritation. Even after I asked him to stop. He just could not help himself. Shame cos I really fancied him.

My one and only instant ick - and I wish I'd managed to get over it.

Me late 30s, somehow pulled a Greek God like man mid 20s I vaguely knew. Gorgeous. In the bedroom, early stages, all amazing, then he said "I've always wanted to sleep with an older woman, I bet you can teach me a few things eh?". Felt like a dirty old woman, instant ick, made an excuse not to continue. He was very nice about it, we just went to sleep. Still kicking myself 20 years later.

DTD and I am trying to give this guy a blow job. I kid you not I’ve been at it for 45 minutes. By this point I’ve lost the will to live and I’m never having sex with a guy again.

However, he’s making all the right noises.

He then comes suddenly and in full Wallace & Gromit voice pats me on the head several times and says, “Ooooohh, that’ll do, that’ll do’.

He wasn’t English so who knows where the accent came from.

It was the most awful moment, I still shudder 20+ years later.

I got dressed and I never contacted him again.

When we were having sex he kept saying I want to get you pregnant. Can I get you pregnant?

Over and over again. We were not TTC and I instantly stopped and thought WTF.

I jumped up and never had sex with him again.

See why so so many of these men say the most when having sex, like I get being in the moment but what the actual hell??

one of my friends was DTD with a guy at uni and she emerged from her room mortified as the guy kept saying 'you want my ginger bastards, I want to impregnate you with my little ginger bastards.

I don't even think home boy was ginger.

I remember one guy who was very chatty, almost too much so, it was hard get a word in edgeways at times. Until it came to the bedroom. Silence. Complete silence. It was unnerving. Because we were using condoms, it was impossible to tell when he came, other than the fact he stopped moving. His breathing didnt change, he didn’t utter even the slightest moan or groan, absolutely nothing. His facial expression didn’t change, nor the pace of his movements. It was bizarre. I used actually sneak a look at the condom to see if he had come, as I was so unsure. And he had, every time.

‘I don’t even think home boy was ginger’

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

See this is odd.

there seems no in between. They either stay silent, go completely rigid and flair their nostrils, or induce a mild seizure.

If I remember correctly he had a mousy brown top knot!

must've been in the bloodline..

Hopefully it stayed there…

These are hilarious

I once DTD with a guy and he came first, then said, "I guess I won then'. Instant turn-off.

Not too bad, but once was dtd and he said "I'm going to f* you until you cum".....kind of an obvious outcome but put me right off so I didn't, just made the right noises so I could get out of there!
Another guy spat on me down there, proper spat like he thought he was in some kind of porno....no thank you and never gave him the chance again.
On a date with someone and he said he'd left his wallet somewhere. I'd been on a few dates with him so was a little miffed but paid. Went back, he stayed the night. In the morning, I found him with his feet up on my coffee table in his underwear, scrolling through the TV channels, asking what was for breakfast. Didn't have another date.

Loving this thread, have me howling!

He pulled a face that made him look like an Aardman Animations character trying to achieve an impossibly heavy deadlift, throughout the entire act.

The only thing that would make this even more hilarious would be if these hair bobbles actually were from another woman and he tied up his balls with them in a panic to conceal it 🤣

Went on a date with someone I worked with. Went back to his after, genuinely for coffee, definitely nothing more (I’d made that clear). Walked into the house and the dog smell was overpowering. You could cut the air with a knife and I ended up surreptitiously breathing through my mouth to avoid the smell. There was a layer of dog hair over everything. He then offered to show me his gun collection (were in the uk so not a common thing to have) so I made my excuses and ran.

Men who say they have a big cocknalways have below average ones. On the contrary my husband thinks his isn't but its quite big