To think people shouldn’t bring babies to weddings full stop?

[Gazetex]

Was at a beautiful wedding yesterday, absolutely stunning venue, countryside church followed by a reception in a barn with fairy lights and all the trimmings. The bride looked incredible, everyone was emotional, proper special day.

Then literally mid vows, a baby in the second row started wailing. Not a little grizzle either, full on shrieking. It went on for ages. The vicar even paused. You could see the bride getting flustered and trying to laugh it off but honestly it completely broke the moment. The parent eventually took the baby outside but by then the damage was done.

I’m sorry but why do people think it’s fine to bring very young babies to events like this? I know childcare is hard to sort and people want to be included but surely if your baby is at the stage where they could cry for no reason at any time, a formal ceremony isn’t the place?

I genuinely don’t think I’m being unreasonable to say weddings should be child free unless the child has an actual role in the ceremony. It’s not anti child, it’s just about having some basic awareness.

It’s not a family BBQ. It’s a once in a lifetime moment for the couple.

AIBU?

I loved having children at my wedding.

I had a tiny baby at my wedding she was beautiful. And my son was one. It wouldn’t have been an issue if they had cried.
I’ve attended weddings with my son when he was a baby and if he cried I just went outside, I agree it should be a quick decision because it is distracting. I’ll be honest though I prefer a child free wedding.

Don't be a tit OP.

The way round the problem you describe is that the baby should have been taken out when they started making a noise.

Of course it’s fine to have babies at weddings.

Depends doesn’t it? It might mean that the bridal couple can’t have a first waltz or at Scottish weddings that it’s just not safe to have Scottish country ceilidh dancing. Means old aunties slightly unsteady on their pins can’t have gentle waltz etc. for fear of being knocked over.

Parents beliefs that their kids should be able to do whatever they like and for parents not to have to actually teach their kids that other people’s needs and wants matter too and sometimes are more important isn’t a good reason for ignoring their host’s preferences.

In my view it’s good for children to be taught that different types of behaviour are called for in different situations even at the cost of a little boredom.

There's something special about events which include multiple generations. Evenings out with other adults are ten a penny.

I work in this area, some couples say do not leave even if baby cries because thats life. Others who don’t want the risk say it’s a child free wedding. I think the only issues here arr whether the couple have issues their instructions and if it happens during the rings and vows. You wouldn’t believe the amount of people who just stand there obliviously with a wailing baby, usually the dad whilst mum is part of the bridal party.

I think the issue is not the babies but too many parents with zero common sense who sit at the front and then let the child wail at full force before leaving so ruining the moment. Really not that hard to sit at the back on an end and as soon as baby starts grumbling to err on side of caution and make a quick getaway 🤷🏻‍♀️

A baby cried in the middle of our service. Didn't bother me one bit, if anything it made me smile. We knew which baby it was and it was so important to have her there along with her sisters and cousins. Weddings are about family and babies are a part of that. If anything a baby crying in the service is a reminder that life doesn't always go the way you plan, and you're making a vow to roll with it, together.

Ps dogs misbehaving, howling during vows, dragging walker off their chair to get to the couple, dirty paws jumping up at the brides delicate white dress - they’ve been way more disruptive than babies. Although I’m noticing that dogs seem more welcome than children at weddings.

I have no issues with babies being invited however, I LOATHE when parents don’t take their kid out.

we were at a wedding recently and an annoying two year old shouted, yelled, cried and both parents were there with the child’s granny and instead of taking her out they let her go to her Dad who was a groomsman and let her be a pain at the very front! I was a second away from telling them to take her out when the Mum eventually did but I was very annoyed on the bride and grooms behalf!

I invited people I love to my wedding. If some behaved oddly - then that would be fine with me.
I went to a wedding where two small boys spent a lot of time running around - BUT I think pretty much everyone knew they were the Grooms nephews and were Autistic. Anyone who found their behaviour annoying had less right to be there than they did.

I’ve taken all three of my children as babies to weddings, and they never cried but if they had I’d have taken them out.

Would people who say, no babies at weddings, feel the same if it was an adult with disabilities? One of my friends has a much-loved brother with severe physical and developmental disabilities. He makes a lot of random noises, especially when he is happy. He made a lot of noises at her wedding, and some people probably thought it was inappropriate to bring him. Fortunately she loves her brother and isn't a massive eejit, so it wasn't an issue.

Im surprised that the vicar in the OP didn't just pause the ceremony for a moment, and remind parents that they could use the church Quiet Room or similar space.

YABVU. Of course babies and children belong at weddings (if the couple choose to invite them). Screaming babies and noisy toddlers should be taken out of ceremonies and speeches though.

YANBU.

But children are fine at weddings,!if they are properly parented.

At this wedding, the parents should have taken the baby out as soon as it started crying.

🙄🙄🙄

Yes I agree wholeheartedly.

I love a big family wedding with kids running around and having fun.

I’ll never understand the no kids at wedding people.

Exactly this - and you sit towards the back, at the end of a row so you can make a hasty exit if needs be. Common consideration.

This.
I love babies at weddings (and funerals), and I have taken mine to both, but sat at the end of a pew to be able to slip outside if they get too loud or grizzly.

One of the loveliest weddings I have ever been to was in Dublin in the 90s. Family members of all ages. Very elderly great aunts, drunk uncles, a cousin with Downs who came with his Mum and was the life and soul of the party, dancing with everyone. Babies, small children running around. It was absolutely joyous and so much warmth and fun.

The babies who came to our wedding were the babies of my close friends and family, and I actively wanted them there.

I went to lots of weddings in my 20s and don’t remember any screaming children. I think the issue is the adults not taking them out/keeping them occupied rather than the children themeselves. Children/babies have always gone to weddings, but parents had more manners.

when my friend got married her toddler ran up, sat on the stairs and asked what they were doing and told them they looked silly. It was a very funny wedding and i remember laughing a lot, much more memorable than some of the very dull childless ones I’ve been to. My friend still remembers it fondly even though she’s divorced.

My autistic son started shouting ‘hooray’ when my SIL walked down the aisle. She says it was one of her favourite parts of the day as he was so genuinely excited and joyful!

by my wedding there were a lot of babies and small children, some parents hired a babysitter (or 2) who watched the babies in a side room.

It’s a wedding though, not a funeral. I agree taking the baby out would have been best so that the couple could concentrate on their vows and people could hear but it’s one of those moments the celebrant could have made a little joke out of.