genuinely confused about if I am or not, please help (and I promise not to cry or flounce if you all pick on me, even if I do have a tad bit of PMT....[wink])

[Psychomum5]

DS1 went to a party this morning, 10-12.20.

lovely party, he thought it was fab, completely different, was at a safety centre, so actually a learning party too.

BUT

I didn't give him a huge breakfast as I thought he would then fill up on party food anyway, and altho he had a drink, again, not a huge one for weeing issues in the beginning part IYGWIM.

anyhoo.....

I get there to pick him up, and it is running over....he is looking hot and tired.
the mum starts handing over boxes, and then apologizes but they haven;t had time for lunch or anything.....((first ))

we say a gracious thankyou, as he has had a good time, and then he gets a balloon and party bag, (even DS2 gats handed one), and get into the car......and DS1 opens up his 'lunchbox'.

inside is a bag of (tasteless apparently) crisps, a drink, and tons of harribo sweet, plus some toys......

and nothing else, no lunch type of food, nothing, nada.......

now, I am cross....I don't really think it is ok to send a child to a party, and they having nothing to eat or drink the entire time, and he also said there was no birthdya cake, but then, that is personal choice, but no food......

sooooo

AIBU, or am I entitled to feel a little off about my sons lack of fluids and nutrition at a party.........or am I just weird for always assuming that parties come with food!!!!

((BTW, I do no that parties have sweets, but not in a 'lunchbox', and not for them to eat on the way home before I can get proper food into him, which he did, as I told him he could have his 'lunch' as that is what I thought it was!!!))

i used to feel as you do. but then i realised that even when they are offered something more substantial, they dont eat it.
this lady did a party at ten on a half term morning, so, its reasonable to expect that the children will have had breakfast., and 12.20 finish is too early for lunch.

but then, i always overdo food.

Omg no yanu. Although with the time it does seem a tad early to feed kids (too near lunchtime) but I would have expected at least a sandwich in the box.

you will learn that they eat bugger all at parties anyway at that age

also parties = crap

just give him a decent breakfast and tea to make up for it

not sure, I'd expect a drink and a snack if there between those times. Perhaps not a full blown lunch but definately some sort of refreshment.

Sorry but you are unreasonable in my opinion to expect them to feed him.

However if it is just over lunchtime then I would hope that there would be some sandwiches, but I would not be angry at them for not serving it. It is my responsibility to keep my child well fed and nourished.

If you send him to a party you shouldn't expect anything other than sweets, soft drinks, crisps, sweets, soft drinks, crisps, repeat, repeat, repeat.

I can understand it if you are dissappointed though

well, yeah, I can kind of understand it regarding the time......

still a little about lack of drink during the party.

still.....nice to see that so far, IANU.....

I think YABU - although I would usually expect some sort of sandwich or something the timing of the party is between Breakfast and lunchtime, so party giver will probably have expected kids to have had breakfast and be heading for lunch after.

YANU, she should have made it clear that lunch/drinks weren't included.
We had a party starting at 10-11.30 one year and I made sure that the Mum's all knew that there wouldn't be lunch offered, just some snacks (and drinks). The children then all had cake to take home.

they may have been offered drinks

often they get too excited to drink anything

Err YANBU, sorry

ooh tough one im not sure what to say

i always persume b day party means food

but i guess as it was at a safety centre it was birthday outing so not meaning party with food as such

family may have spent alot of money booking centre and genuinly couldnt afford food

unless it was specified that there would be food then im not sure i would be upset i would think oh thats different but lunch time anyway so can easily make sandwich when get home

but i would have expected a drink at least if all runninga round

maybe this will make us remember to ask will they be eating or shall i bring lunch when i collect in future

and look really grateful when they say there will be food

I don't think it's unresonable for them not to have had time to eat lunch by 12.20, can easily understand how that might happen, but do think that it's a little odd that the stuff in the lunchbox wasn't more lunch-like. But maybe they had plates of sandwiches etc to go with it and had planned to eat it all there but the rest of the stuff wasn't easy to put in boxes. Yes, thinking I about it I bet that's what happened. I feel a bit sorry for the mum now, i bet she's really embarassed.

please, no-one be sorry for telling that I am unreasonable....

I am the queen of overdoing food at parties, and so I always assume that parties HAVE food, IYGWIM.....

hence, this thread.....

But if the woman can't afford to provide lunch, then she should not have to.

It is a party invite not a lunch date party invite. >>>>personally I always make food i.e. fruit, veg, brown bread and it is all eaten by both children and parents

I can see why you're disappointed, but the timing of the party isn't really at a mealtime is it? I think it's quite good not to always assocaite parties with food.

If your DS had a good time that is the main thing. He will get over being thirsty and hungry and eating sweets on an empty stomach

No, I don't think you are being unreasonable

(BTW is that you NG? )

what's a safety centre, btw?

Oi, psycho, get a grip, you're being unreasonable

No, seriously now, I would think that because of the time mum expected them to have had breakfast, I'd be pissed about the drinks but not about the food.

oh, he was THRILLED with the sweets in the 'lunchbox', believe me, and I am not one of those mums who deny them to my kiddies, especially at parties etc (that is what parties are for really), I am just a little miffed I guess that I had expected some sustenence and there was none.....

ho hum, teach me for sending him on not much breakfast really

HUFF

VS.....getting a grip.......I am....I am......

nope, am not NG (nappiesgalore I assume??)

I would have done it the other way 'round. I would have given my DC as big a breakfast as possible so that she would be full and eat less crap at the party!

I agree with Birdy arms that there were probably sandwhiches and vegetable sticks, that didn't get eaten due to the lack of time.

I've learned to check all bags boxes given to DC's at parties, as we've been given some rather dodgey items over the years.

I haven't decided whether YABU or not yet... will post back later

sounds like classic pmt....whether that is reasonable or not is another issue!

CQ....yes indeed.....huff....