That my neighbour’s paranoia is not my problem.

[Libertylawn]

I have lived in my house for 20 years and it’s got a loft conversion which was done originally as a granny flat, so little kitchen and bathroom, 2 bedrooms. We are semi rural but near a couple of major employers and a business park and so I started letting out the annex to contractors. They are all fully vetted and usually just down for a couple of weeks or so. The rooms overlook farmland and my garden and also my neighbour’s garden.

My neighbour when she found out about the lodgers went bananas and has tried to report me to anyone that will listen, because she firmly believes it isn’t safe and as a consequence she and her children won’t go in the garden AT ALL, in case my lodgers are watching her. Why the hell they would want to watch her or her kids is beyond me.

The neighbour has kids the same age as mine, and we have mutual friends. She has cried - tears crying - saying how worried she is and that I’m ruining her dream house. The houses are detached, there’s no shared drive etc so this is all on the basis of the chances of nutters watching her put her washing on the line. I’ve ignored her so far but this morning I got a card through the door from her begging that I stop letting out the annex to anyone “except maybe relatives.” I’ve tried talking to her but am getting nowhere. She’s crackers isn’t she?

Need to read the OP guys, the neighbour is the one with children.

Depending on whete you are, your Council might expect you to pay additional Council tax on your annex as a separate dwelling. Worth checking if your OTT neighbour has reported you. Similar happened to a friend of mine, they got a whopping backdated bill in the post. Horrible shock.

That's what they say to start with. Then they start coming in and out at all hours of the day.

The op has teenagers. Same age as ndn dc...

Motivation - what buzz does she get from her crazy complaining?

Power over you?
Attention?

genuine fear, then her phobia is not your problem.

My strategy would be, don’t engage. At some point, verbally (not give her anything written, she’ll use it as some sort of evidence).
Verbally, again, let her know it’s all legal and the people are all vetted.
Thats the end of your obligation.

Ask her to stop leaving notes, (keep them (dates) so you can accuse her of harasssment)

When she confronts face to face, tell your you are late for a teams call or appointment. And leave.

Vetted? They work for a major local employer usually, or a subsidiary/supplier/contractor. If I can be bothered I look them up on LinkedIn and have a nose. I have no need to know more than that anyway! I don’t allow smoking and there’s no access to any outdoor space. The only behaviour I have ever had issue with was a bloke who had a flat tyre on a slow puncture and every morning would put a compressor on to blow up his tyre at stupid o’clock. He was only there for a week anyway.

View of the neighbor’s garden? We are higher up to begin with (side of a hill) and also the loft conversion affords a view of about a third of their garden and the side wall of their garage. They can’t see into my garden at all as they’re lower down and haven’t got rooms in the loft.

Someone asked was she otherwise normal? In my opinion, no, she’s crackers!

She complained about the neighbour to the side of her, for having a bush that overhung the pavement. But instead of speaking to her directly she wrote to the council. I think she’s someone that sees peril at every turn.

Id assumed the companies they worked for had to go through vetting, so OP knows they have it but can't see it herself, like everyone would know I'm Garda vetted because of the job I do but only my employer will actually see it.
Is OP saying she vetted them?
How much of the garden can actually be seen from the conversion? If very little would allowing her to come and see for herself be any help I wonder? Probably not if she's this fearful of someone that only has access to her teenagers through what they can see out a window

Oh, cross posted!

Agree, if there's one thing they're not going to fuck with it's the rules around lodgers. If anything it's more likely to be encouraged. Air B and Bs and people having lodgers in their own homes are two completely different kettles of fish.

You can't police who your neighbours are inviting.

If the OP decided to bring a different man every weekend to keep him for the week, what could the neighbour do? There would be no vetting there.

(OP I am not saying you would...)

if someone has such high anxiety, they need to move or work on their own problem.

I can see both sides.

My next door has holiday accomodation being built right on my boundary. They can't see into the garden. But the constant churn of people is a cause for concern, just because I know my neighbours but won't get to know these people. It's a false sense of security as such thinking you know your neighbours (but realistically do you know anyone really?!) We bought thinking there would be a really decent distance between us and next door. Which encroaches on how we will enjoy and use our outside space now.

Would be complain to them? No. Unless a guest was causing problems.

I think she's unreasonable. We've come to the conclusion that our child shouting and kicking a ball around the garden is going to be a lot more problematic for guests than someone looking for a break for a few weeks. Like her teenagers could cause a lot more issues and nuisance for you/guests if she thought about it.

If your neighbour wasn't so uptight, I'd speak to her. But you won't talk sense into this one. I agree that it might be sensible to start getting her actions on record with the police.

??

My next door has holiday accommodation being built right on my boundary. They can't see into the garden. But the constant churn of people is a cause for concern,

that would concern me a lot too, but only because of noise and nuisance in general. Sadly some CF don't care at all because they're "on holiday" and only there for a few days, so think normal social rules don't apply.

A contractor who found a place to crash for a few days while on the job? Can't see the issue.

You're probably right.

And no doubt that this is likely the post that will absolutely cause everything to kick off with your neighbours should this whole thread come to light 😅

Gosh threads here can be strange sometimes. On lots of cost of living or can I afford to split up threads comes the advice “get a lodger” “could you rent out a room” “convert a garage, then rent it out” even if the OP states they have very small kids and only one bathroom. But here some people think that letting out a fully separate annexe is putting teenagers at risk.

She does seem a bit bonkers but if everything is in place in terms of permissions, certificates and declaring earnings then crack on. I assumed by vetted you really mean vouched for by employers or agency who provide contact details.

I would try and ask her why she is so concerned and perhaps offer her a chance to see what view of her garden is afforded by the annexe windows. But only if her concerns have any shred of reasonableness at all.

OP and neighbour both have ‘strapping teenagers’.

The neighbour has strapping teens? Not toddlers then. Do the teens have issues with the lodgers, or just her?

Our kids are pretty much the same age. Mine are suddenly giants, hers are shorter. My own kids don’t have any significant contact with the people who stay in the annex and hers have none whatsoever!

Presumably the contractors are out at work each day and not hanging out the windows?

So she says relatives are ok to stay? I'd be telling her the creepy, leery uncle Bob will be using the room now.
'Oh, he doesn't work. He has agoraphobia and won't be leaving the room all day. He is an avid bird watcher though and has all manner or massive binoculars, so you will definitely see him hanging out the windows!' 😆

Are the people who stay generally white British, because 'unvetted male' is usually code for asylum seeker, so there could be a race element in her thinking, the far right do paint unvetted men as a huge risk to women and children.

She sounds bat shit, her poor kids.

I know people like this, frightened of everything.

Tell her you can't let relatives stay because they are all axe murderers.

I have never thought much about whether the annex people are more or less white than the local population. The Local Employer is massive and a lot of the local residents work there too, and it’s how we ended up here as my ex was based there for a while.

It’s a nice little earner for me, the vast vast majority are only here Sunday evening to Thursday, often on training courses from what I can make out. It meant I could keep the house and the kids didn’t have to move when we split up.

This is what I think is happening. I’m just thinking about other paranoid things she’s said - some comment about the local nursery employing a man there - what kind of man wants to work with toddlers, etc. And asking one of the mutual friends “where are you REALLY from?” presumably because she’s mixed race.

Im going to ignore her. I certainly won’t be only taking lodgers in winter! There’s no reasonable compromise as far as I can see.

She sounds batshit. Ultimately she can’t choose her neighbours, if she continues to make life difficult for you then you could decide to move and she’ll have no control over who moves in next. The next owners could be known criminals and she’d still have no authority to block them from moving next door to her. Just keep ignoring her!