That my neighbour’s paranoia is not my problem.

[Libertylawn]

I have lived in my house for 20 years and it’s got a loft conversion which was done originally as a granny flat, so little kitchen and bathroom, 2 bedrooms. We are semi rural but near a couple of major employers and a business park and so I started letting out the annex to contractors. They are all fully vetted and usually just down for a couple of weeks or so. The rooms overlook farmland and my garden and also my neighbour’s garden.

My neighbour when she found out about the lodgers went bananas and has tried to report me to anyone that will listen, because she firmly believes it isn’t safe and as a consequence she and her children won’t go in the garden AT ALL, in case my lodgers are watching her. Why the hell they would want to watch her or her kids is beyond me.

The neighbour has kids the same age as mine, and we have mutual friends. She has cried - tears crying - saying how worried she is and that I’m ruining her dream house. The houses are detached, there’s no shared drive etc so this is all on the basis of the chances of nutters watching her put her washing on the line. I’ve ignored her so far but this morning I got a card through the door from her begging that I stop letting out the annex to anyone “except maybe relatives.” I’ve tried talking to her but am getting nowhere. She’s crackers isn’t she?

I’m a teacher and also worked in Safeguarding for several years. Suggesting that you ask for a DBS for a lodger is ludicrous 🙄 In any event, DBS checks are purely for employment purposes if someone applies for a job with access to children or vulnerable adults. Only an employer can apply for one on that basis.

Plus - parents need to realise that a DBS is NOT a guarantee of good character. All it shows is whether the person has been convicted of something. There are plenty of people walking around with a clear DBS check who are a danger but have just never been caught. People place far too much faith in DBS checks.

... for recently arrived asylum seekers...

How much can actually be seen from the loft conversion? I know with many dormers, it's almost impossible to see out at all.
If that is the case, would asking her to look herself help?

But yes, she is nuts.

Batshit

Yeah she is crackers.
Does she never leave the house? Strangers are everywhere. Anyone could be watching at any time. Unless her kids are running around the garden what's the difference between strangers in your loft to strangers overlooking the park or where they holiday?

Have you had planning permission for this conversion. Maybe your neighbour has a point.

So you don’t vet them at all?

YANBU regarding your neighbour, anyone can be living near a paedophile.

YABU to have random people in your home with children. How are you safeguarding them? More people coming and going equals more risk of the wrong person having access to your children.

Working for a household name company makes zero difference in their risk to children. Why would you think that makes any difference?

It's just envy and obviously, paranoia

So you dont vet these people that stay in the same house as your children? Your neighbour sounds nuts but I'd never let someone stay in a house with my children, unless I've got totally the wrong end of the stick

It was done before we moved here, and yes all planning and regs are fine.

They don’t see the kids. It’s a self contained unit. There is ZERO chance of grooming. There’s two locked doors between the annex and the kids, I have keys to everywhere obviously and the lodgers lock themselves in the annex.

ive been letting it as an annex for 2 years (previously the ex worked from home so this was his office and a playroom) and the kids are now strapping teens on reflection. But then so are hers.

Urban neighbours are annoying (now live in London).
Rural neighbours are sometimes quite nuts (I grew up rurally and got the hell out of there ASAP).
DPs still live there and out of the six houses in their titchy tiny hamlet, two are completely nuts:

• objecting to a washing line (a visual nuisance)
• a 50 year old potting shed "that could be turned into living accommodation" - which has the leakiest roof in the world (and we are laying bets if it will fall down before it's pulled down)
• "allowing deer" into their garden (via a shared hedge) which triggers their (murderous) Lurcher

The first two have been cooked up jointly, particularly in objection to my parents' building work. Thankfully they were finally shut down as "malicious".

For your own sake, stop engaging with her. She’s nuts.

Id reporr her for harassment.

She’s nuts.

I would politely reply in kind, with a card through her door saying ‘We’re happy with the arrangement and won’t be changing it. Please stop harassing me.’

This. I’d keep a log of all her batshittery every day. Screenshots and and dedicated notebook for a wick daily summary. This could benefit you in so many ways down the line! Sadly, I know this.

Tell her the rate you are getting and that if she pays you that sum you will stop getting lodgers. Otherwise she can piss off.

Does she have another adult in the house? A DH maybe? Can you talk to him?

Strange woman, she sounds completely unhinged.

Off her trolley. She sounds quite unwell

She does - a very miserable tense looking husband. I think she whines to him a lot. He does a lot of cycling. Away for days, with panniers. And the rest of the time is in the garage. Hardly surprising.

It's not just the childless that rent out rooms or run bed and breakfasts or hotels!

She’s not nuts 😂 She has a valid point.

Your choices impact her so you’re being impacted. Sorry op. That’s life. Some people have issues some don’t. Just happens your neighbour does. I’m with her and would not like to live next to you.

She's nuts but that doesn't really help you if she's going to keep going on about it. i think I would, as previously mentioned, say, firmly, I am happy with the arrangements I have made and I'm not prepared to discuss it anymore.