That my neighbour’s paranoia is not my problem.

[Libertylawn]

I have lived in my house for 20 years and it’s got a loft conversion which was done originally as a granny flat, so little kitchen and bathroom, 2 bedrooms. We are semi rural but near a couple of major employers and a business park and so I started letting out the annex to contractors. They are all fully vetted and usually just down for a couple of weeks or so. The rooms overlook farmland and my garden and also my neighbour’s garden.

My neighbour when she found out about the lodgers went bananas and has tried to report me to anyone that will listen, because she firmly believes it isn’t safe and as a consequence she and her children won’t go in the garden AT ALL, in case my lodgers are watching her. Why the hell they would want to watch her or her kids is beyond me.

The neighbour has kids the same age as mine, and we have mutual friends. She has cried - tears crying - saying how worried she is and that I’m ruining her dream house. The houses are detached, there’s no shared drive etc so this is all on the basis of the chances of nutters watching her put her washing on the line. I’ve ignored her so far but this morning I got a card through the door from her begging that I stop letting out the annex to anyone “except maybe relatives.” I’ve tried talking to her but am getting nowhere. She’s crackers isn’t she?

excellent suggestion

You can earn 7,500 tax free from renting a room but if you claim benefits they can be affected by the extra income. If the lodger is taking food from you they are known as a boarder and different rules apply. If you're letting within the rent a room scheme you can't claim for any maintenance or upkeep of rented spaces. Females would want to stay within known peoples and relatives, family members perhaps...safeguarding is important.

Completely bonkers.

Next she will try to ban male visitors coming to stay with her neighbours?
Or female visitors too?

I’m not sure I think compromise might go a long way here and it might help the OP out in the future. Firstly it’s always good to not upset a neighbour, secondly it would be good to show some willing to compromise so that the neighbour doesn’t immediately object to the renting as soon as she is allowed to. Where I live there are laws coming in about HMOs which will enable residents to object to them on their street, I can also see the government wanting to crack down on airbnbs in the near future too mainly due to local people not being able to buy or rent in their area. I would do what I can to appease this neighbour personally with not completely backing down, but compromising.

DBS checks prove nothing, just that someone hasn't been caught.

Just tell her you’ve thought about her request and decided to rent only to relatives. Then when she questions all the people renting the room just say you’re related each time and that you have a massive family! 😆

Sounds like? Very subjective. There are always two sides.

So what sort of compromise do you suggest here? That the renters are all forced to wear blindfolds? That the windows of the loft conversion are bricked up?

You can't say the OP should find a way to 'compromise' or 'appease' her unreasonable neighbour like it's that easy, but not suggest ways in which it could be done.

OP i live in a suburb which is actually nice and leafy but also really close to an industrial park with multinationals and a teaching hospital. It’s actually a thing that’s mentioned around here that in the 80s when interest rates were sky high many people got to keep their houses and pay their mortgages by having lodgers . One of the mums from the school who lived in this area all her life was talking about it recently as she was laughing about how the 4 DC had to share a room as her parents rented out the other rooms for a year or two
and it kept them all afloat financially. My own neighbours are mostly retired but they were taking about others living on our estate doing similar and renting out rooms or converting the garages to self contained units. I don’t know anyone locally to me who does this nowadays but I’m sure there are plenty of people in the general area doing similar to the OP in nicely converted annexes. your neighbour is being ridiculous

@Libertylawnis she otherwise normal?

I know it's possible to buy tall privacy screens that attach to the tops of fences. They are used a lot in homes with Muslim women in them so they can enjoy their outdoor spaces without being seen uncovered by any men next door, through upstairs windows. Perhaps the OP could send her neighbour a link to somewhere she could buy those? That's about as close to a compromise as is fair or reasonable here. But I imagine the neighbour would then insist that the OP should pay for them herself and fit them on her own side!

How does she have a valid point? It’s none of her business if her neighbours have lodgers. It doesn’t impact her in the slightest.

It was really common back in the 50s, 60s and 70s to take in lodgers as a way of helping with your own mortgage. My grandparents did it in the top floor of their three storey own house (which was fairly large but not enormous) for years when my mum was growing up, then my own parents moved in with me for a few months while they saved to buy their own place. My DH's granny did it as well. Very common indeed.

There is a housing crisis and the last thing the government is going to do is make that worse by changing regulations for lodgers. The reason that you can earn £7500 tax free is the incentive to rent a room or rooms in your house as the government is desperate to reduce homelessness - it will not face tighter regulation other than safety checks on gas and possibly electric/carbon monoxide and fire alarms

Some 'females' might, but not all of us are gibbering wimps who think every stranger is a potential rapist.

That was a female specific consideration, in order to be completely inclusive. If the cap fits kind of thing.

She’s not nuts 😂 She has a valid point.
Your choices impact her so you’re being impacted. Sorry op. That’s life. Some people have issues some don’t. Just happens your neighbour does. I’m with her and would not like to live next to you.

We are all impacted by our neighbours, in either large or small ways, unless we literally don't have any neighbours. The question is whether we are reasonable or rational to demand that they stop doing the things that impact us. Sometimes we are reasonable to expect that certain things stop, if they are anti-social or inconsiderate, excessively noisy or intrusive or downright illegal. But even then, we don't always get much support. We can ask but we can't demand and the law or the local authorities won't necessarily be on our side if we need their help. Ask anyone who has to put up with noisy neighbours with six feral kids who don't understand about front garden boundaries, or their neighbour's weed smoke constantly wafting into their home and garden.

But this isn't one of those really intrusive, disresepctful situations that grinds you down totally. It's simply rooms in a house being used as rooms in a house. Nothing more, nothing less. Unless the guests (paid or otherwise) are behaving anti-socially, there is nothing she can do about it.

By that same argument so could any of the op, op’s partner, op’s family, neighbours on other side etc have predatory interest in children!

the neighbour doesn’t know that, or if she had managed to carry out her own personal investigation on everyone else living or visiting her neighbourhood, she has no control over it anyway. Other than moving herself out .

This is such a ridiculous argument! men (although not exclusively men) don’t go around with clear warning signs they’re paedoophiles. Most men watch Porn sadly at some point t in their lives, and rather too many of them are being “led into” watching explicit images of children and becoming paedophiles by an industry intent on creating an income stream from sexual addiction. And that includes an alarming rise in boys being caught classed as “children” in law. The uk police are now finding 35000 new images of sexual exploitation of children per day.

the neighbours arguments are spurious and illogical regarding paedophile interest. Neighbour might have a more logical argument of random people going in and out at all hours, noise etc , but it sounds like OP has taken care to ensure this doesn’t happen

I would just tell her you're not going to discuss what you choose to do with your own house with her anymore. I had to do this with my neighbour who was always piping up with some bat shit criticism every time I stepped foot into my garden. I normally try to get on with everyone, but some people are just impossible, I've not spoken to her in months and it's so peaceful.

I'm not a gibbering wimp thank you but I have presided over the presumption and entitlement of the wrong kind of men and cared for many vulnerable and injured women who wished they'd been more protective with their environment. As I said, Safe Guarding is important....think you broke some contributor rules there. Female?

Seriously, call social services. Aside from that ignore and avoid, she sounds quite batshit and unstable people are unpredictable.

You sound quite unstable...

Is the unstable person in the room with you now? Are you near a mirror?

Why would anyone be envious of someone who has to have a stream of randoms in their loft to make ends meet? I wouldn't fancy it.

Suggest she can send you the money you can make off the rooms every week should she choose to. Or she can fuck off.