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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My mind has actually been blown...

60 replies

lanbro · 02/08/2025 17:28

Saw my dsis yesterday, her xp, df of her child, is looking after his work friend's 2yo for a fortnight whilst her dps holiday alone....

Xp is dropping his own dd at nursery, friend's dd at her nursery in the opposite direction, then going to work, and obviously reverse at the end of the day.

Xp is a people pleaser, likely didn't know how to say no, but admits the toddler doesn't seem to have a clue what's going on

AIBU that you don't ask a work friend to look after your toddler for 2 weeks whilst you holiday without them? Not a funeral, a wedding, a long weekend, a necessary work trip, but a 2 week adult only pleasure holiday?! Mind. Blown that people think this is ok?!

OP posts:
LividSquidward · 02/08/2025 17:37

I'd say dropping a 2yo with a random man was a safeguarding mega risk and I'd be reporting it.

Bread121bread · 02/08/2025 17:40

I would assume he wanted the child's parent for something. Is a promotion coming up? Or is he after something else?

It would be great if he did it out of kindness. I would just worry, that he is planning on doing the reverse. And let them look after your niece. But then I suppose the father would vet them and only leave his children with people he trust.

tripleginandtonic · 02/08/2025 17:48

LividSquidward · 02/08/2025 17:37

I'd say dropping a 2yo with a random man was a safeguarding mega risk and I'd be reporting it.

He's not random.

SixteenClovesOfGarlic · 02/08/2025 17:52

The sisters ex boyfriend must think it's ok, too, since he chose to have his colleagues young daughter.

Really weird of him to not think of basic safeguarding or if it's in the child's best interests to be given to some unrelated male.

notevencharging · 02/08/2025 17:56

This is bonkers. Does he know this child at all?

Bluetoothpaste · 02/08/2025 18:00

The couple asked a friend, also a parent, to look after their child and he said yes.

He’s a competent an adult man, presumably he could have absolutely said no if he wanted to.

I’m not really sure what is has to do with you or why you are so exercised about it?

Azandme · 02/08/2025 18:01

I doubt you or your dsis know the full story, so I don't feel able to judge.

Ineednewcurtainsandblinds · 02/08/2025 18:06

It’s not something I would ever do, but reporting it? To whom? And what would you say? A couple have left their child in the hands of a capable adult man, who is also a parent? Which agency would care?

CurlewKate · 02/08/2025 18:07

Are they friends?

Paperthin · 02/08/2025 18:08

Who leaves their 2 year old for two weeks to go on holiday? I agree with you op, mind blown!

Member869894 · 02/08/2025 18:12

This is not a safeguarding concern FFS

TempestTost · 02/08/2025 18:13

I would have to be in desperate straits to leave a toddler for two weeks with any person that they were not already close to.

Bodypumpmum · 02/08/2025 18:18

What kind of parents holiday without their young child. How utterly selfish!

Driftingawaynow · 02/08/2025 18:22

I think your average social worker would at the minimum be concerned about this. Poor kid. 2 weeks! They sound like utterly shite parents

VioletandDill · 02/08/2025 18:22

I should imagine there's a back story there you're not privy to. The child is with a responsible adult. They must be friends.

Original poster
lanbro · 03/08/2025 06:02

I don't think for one second it's a safe guarding issue, the child will be well looked after.

My mind is blown that a couple would choose to holiday without their child for 2 weeks, leaving said child with friends...! I couldn't understand a weekend for a child free wedding, or in an emergency, but in this scenario? Nope!

OP posts:
BallerinaRadio · 03/08/2025 06:39

If you're so sure it's not a safe guarding issue then what's your big drama?

It's odd you're coming on here desperate for people to judge this parenting when you have no safe guarding concerns or even know the people involved

Cucy · 03/08/2025 07:17

They are CFs and not great parents.

I’d feel incredibly guilty leaving someone else to take care of my toddler for 2 weeks.

Some parents do just put their own needs (or wants) before their kids.

x2boys · 03/08/2025 07:22

Bread121bread · 02/08/2025 17:40

I would assume he wanted the child's parent for something. Is a promotion coming up? Or is he after something else?

It would be great if he did it out of kindness. I would just worry, that he is planning on doing the reverse. And let them look after your niece. But then I suppose the father would vet them and only leave his children with people he trust.

Obviously it's got to be his fault 🙄

BabyCatFace · 03/08/2025 07:22

Driftingawaynow · 02/08/2025 18:22

I think your average social worker would at the minimum be concerned about this. Poor kid. 2 weeks! They sound like utterly shite parents

Average social worker here - no we wouldn't. Parents are allowed to leave their kids with trusted friends while they go on holiday. It certainly wouldn't be my parenting style but social workers aren't there to intervene in questionable parenting choices, only where a significant level of harm is evidenced. This is not that.

x2boys · 03/08/2025 07:23

Driftingawaynow · 02/08/2025 18:22

I think your average social worker would at the minimum be concerned about this. Poor kid. 2 weeks! They sound like utterly shite parents

Why?

Cinaferna · 03/08/2025 07:25

Bread121bread · 02/08/2025 17:40

I would assume he wanted the child's parent for something. Is a promotion coming up? Or is he after something else?

It would be great if he did it out of kindness. I would just worry, that he is planning on doing the reverse. And let them look after your niece. But then I suppose the father would vet them and only leave his children with people he trust.

I wouldn't trust anyone who leaves a toddler for two weeks with a stranger.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 03/08/2025 07:28

BallerinaRadio · 03/08/2025 06:39

If you're so sure it's not a safe guarding issue then what's your big drama?

It's odd you're coming on here desperate for people to judge this parenting when you have no safe guarding concerns or even know the people involved

It’s not about being a safeguarding concern, it’s about dumping a very young child on a friend for two weeks while you piss off on holiday. I’m baffled that anyone would think that was a reasonable thing to do. If you want two week childfree holidays, don’t have children. That’s a very long time for a child that young to be without parents. In an emergency fine, but two weeks for a holiday for goodness sake!

MikeRafone · 03/08/2025 07:29

Cinaferna · 03/08/2025 07:25

I wouldn't trust anyone who leaves a toddler for two weeks with a stranger.

Show quote history

You spend more time each week with a work colleague than you do friends, hardly a stranger

WonderingWanda · 03/08/2025 07:32

I'm always a but astonished (and maybe slightly jealous) at the parents who go on holiday without their kids (usually leaving kids with grandparents).

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