Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you go to this wedding ?

59 replies

Weddingconundrum · 01/08/2025 22:18

I have a friend through a hobby who is getting married tomorrow & they have invited me along to the church service…I’ve just found out that our mutual friends from that hobby have been invited to the whole day.

Totally appreciate that you can’t have everyone but now I’m wondering if I’ll look a bit desperate and cringe to turn up to the service when everyone else will be going for the whole day and not me? What would you do in my shoes?

OP posts:
Twiglets1 · 01/08/2025 22:20

Weddingconundrum · 01/08/2025 22:18

I have a friend through a hobby who is getting married tomorrow & they have invited me along to the church service…I’ve just found out that our mutual friends from that hobby have been invited to the whole day.

Totally appreciate that you can’t have everyone but now I’m wondering if I’ll look a bit desperate and cringe to turn up to the service when everyone else will be going for the whole day and not me? What would you do in my shoes?

I would pretend I had plans tomorrow even if I didn’t.

FanofLeaves · 01/08/2025 22:20

No, the service is the boring bit.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 01/08/2025 22:24

I wouldn’t go for just the service

Travelatot · 01/08/2025 22:26

Just the service? I’d politely decline.

Leeds2 · 01/08/2025 22:28

I wouldn’t go to just the service. Not even an invite to the evening bit?
I also would make sure I wasn’t involved in any joint present from the mutual hobby group friends, but if the wedding is tomorrow it’s probably a bit late for that now!

ooooohlala · 01/08/2025 22:28

Travelatot · 01/08/2025 22:26

Just the service? I’d politely decline.

They can’t politely decline, it’s tomorrow!

Go, wish them well, and pretend to have afternoon plans so it’s not awkward.

Createausername1970 · 01/08/2025 22:32

If the church was close to home then I would, but if it involved more than 30 mins driving then probably not.

It doesn't mean they don't like you, they obviously have a stronger connection with their other friends than you. It's uncomfortable, but it's just how it is.

MagnificentBastard · 01/08/2025 22:35

No way. They want you to merely bump up the numbers in church, but don’t think enough of you to invite you to the reception.

Teado · 01/08/2025 22:37

Cheeky sods. Hope they’re not expecting a gift!

Iwantsandybeachesandgoodfood · 01/08/2025 22:38

I think that’s beyond cheeky and I would be making any excuse and not going. Come and see me get married but you’re not important enough to celebrate with us. Hard no from me.

Original poster
Weddingconundrum · 01/08/2025 22:41

Urgh I’m worried now that she’s just felt like she had to invite me just because I was there when the topic of the wedding came up 😫

OP posts:
Howmanycatsistoomany · 01/08/2025 22:45

I'd probably skip it and send a card. At least you don't have to buy a present!

Dee00 · 01/08/2025 22:46

If you like her I think you should go, be nice, give them your well wishes. Chat and mingle before and after for a bit with your hobby friends and pretend your off out doing something nice that evening. So just going along to the service worked out perfectly for you.

DiligentStrawberry · 01/08/2025 22:46

Just go. It’s nice to support them.

TubeScreamer · 01/08/2025 22:49

If it was close by and I wanted to go, then I would go. If you don’t fancy it or can’t face it then don’t.

CaptainFuture · 01/08/2025 22:50

Iwantsandybeachesandgoodfood · 01/08/2025 22:38

I think that’s beyond cheeky and I would be making any excuse and not going. Come and see me get married but you’re not important enough to celebrate with us. Hard no from me.

This, and definitely no present!

whackamole666 · 01/08/2025 23:01

If you do go to the service don't pretend you're too busy to attend the reception. If anyone asks, can't imagine they will, say you're just there for the service.

If you don't go, the bride probably won't even notice.

If you're feeling a bit put out by the half invitation then don't go.

TheChosenTwo · 01/08/2025 23:04

Oh god I absolutely wouldn’t be going in this circumstance. I think your hunch that you’ve been invited to the ceremony was because you were there when she was talking about it was right.
I bloody love weddings but for me the ceremony is the most boring part and the bit I wish I could skip and just get straight to the fun evening party 😂😂😂

pictoosh · 01/08/2025 23:06

Ach no, I wouldn't go.

Isittimeformynapyet · 01/08/2025 23:09

Weddingconundrum · 01/08/2025 22:41

Urgh I’m worried now that she’s just felt like she had to invite me just because I was there when the topic of the wedding came up 😫

Yeah, probably. I wouldn't go, but I wouldn't be bothered about it. It doesn't reflect on you personally I'm sure.

Wexone · 01/08/2025 23:09

who the f has these weddings were they only invite you to bits of the wedding ? I can not understand it. you are either invited to the full wedding day or not. maybe an evening invite but then are not really a thing these days. I am sorry I would pull a sicky on this one send a card and wish them all the best

DappledThings · 01/08/2025 23:12

I would. But I like weddings and take invitations at face value rather than second guessing the intention. I wouldn't buy a present, I wouldn't think it was expected.

Theteenandme · 01/08/2025 23:15

The service is open to anyone to turn up to so if you wanted to "see them get married" then pop along and it wont look odd.

I dont think I could be bothered with the effort of finding something nice to wear etc for that though tbh. Some services can be 20mins lomg and done so the commute takes longer.

On the plus side, with it being just the service, they wont have paid anything for you to go so dont feel bad if you don't.

PhoenixReincarnated · 01/08/2025 23:19

Tbh, I wouldn't bother. Too much hassle getting up and finding something nice to wear just for the ceremony especially a last minute invite.

TheCurious0range · 01/08/2025 23:22

If it's not someone you are close to the ceremony is the most boring part of a wedding. I wouldn't go, maybe message in the morning and say you're unwell. She's not losing any money because you've only been invited to the church.
On the other hand I love an evening invite from a hobby or work friend! That's the fun bit

Swipe left for the next trending thread