Would you go to this wedding ?

[Weddingconundrum]

I have a friend through a hobby who is getting married tomorrow & they have invited me along to the church service…I’ve just found out that our mutual friends from that hobby have been invited to the whole day.

Totally appreciate that you can’t have everyone but now I’m wondering if I’ll look a bit desperate and cringe to turn up to the service when everyone else will be going for the whole day and not me? What would you do in my shoes?

I’d agree that it’ll appear desperate; it’s giving out ‘loser’, ‘extra’ vibe… the ones not invited to after party. It’s half a friendship and that’s being generous. I wouldn’t go.

Your just a seat filler , it would be a hard no from me.

Loads of these responses are really sad. Nobody cares if one extra seat is taken or not, it makes no difference so no, I don't think anyone invites someone to their wedding ceremony to fill a seat. Nor to get a present because nobody would expect to bring a present just to the church.

I would base my decision entirely on whether I wanted to go and whether it was convenient. Not by cynically second guessing the bride's motives or worrying about what anyone else thought.

That's super random. I wouldn't go, it's the bit I least like at weddings but endure to get to the party. She won't miss you at all. Just say you couldn't make it in the end next time you see her.

Definitely wouldn’t go.
It does sound like she invited you just because you were around when they discussed it, and it doesn’t cost them anything to have an extra in church. She won’t notice whether you went or not.

I wouldn't go through the faff of getting ready for a wedding for juat the church service!

People on mumsnet get a bit sniffy about evening only invites but I love them so its not that you've not been invited for the whole day that would bother me, its that you've been invited for what, a boring half hour ceremony and then you leave?

I wouldn’t go because you haven’t actually been invited! She’s said you can pop along to the church but you could do that anyway, whether you know the bride and groom or not!
She’s invited the rest of the group but not you, so no, I wouldn’t go.

I don't know if this a regional thing, like attending funerals, but I've been to various weddings where the only part I've been to is the service. Normally people like work colleagues, children of friends, people I know from hobbies etc. You aren't formally invited but let know where and when it is and often a group of you will go along together. I wouldn't travel much distance, would wear something I owned and not give a gift Sometimes you don't even sit through the service but just go to see them coming out.

Are you the only person from the hobby who has only been asked to the service only?

go if you want - when I have seen this in the past it’s usually someone with young kids who love to see the wedding and the dress and pretty things

but also - it is actually the important and significant part of a wedding- the bit with meaning