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Original poster

Would you go to this wedding ?

59 replies

Weddingconundrum · 01/08/2025 22:18

I have a friend through a hobby who is getting married tomorrow & they have invited me along to the church service…I’ve just found out that our mutual friends from that hobby have been invited to the whole day.

Totally appreciate that you can’t have everyone but now I’m wondering if I’ll look a bit desperate and cringe to turn up to the service when everyone else will be going for the whole day and not me? What would you do in my shoes?

OP posts:
Doitrightnow · 01/08/2025 23:22

I'm part of a hobby where there have been numerous weddings over the years. Some I've been invited to and some not. I can definitely see who is closest to whom and it generally hasn't been a shock. I invited some to the whole of my own wedding and others just to part of it.

Are you truly as close to the B&G as the people who have been invited all day?

I'd go if it was local, but I love weddings. I would give a card but I wouldn't get a gift.

Petalymetal · 01/08/2025 23:24

It is very rude to only invite someone to the service.

DappledThings · 01/08/2025 23:26

Petalymetal · 01/08/2025 23:24

It is very rude to only invite someone to the service.

It isn't. Church weddings are open to anyone so it's just letting someone know when and where it is if they fancy popping along. Nothing wrong with that.

AuntieDolly · 01/08/2025 23:26

I didn’t know this was even a thing

Delphiniumandlupins · 01/08/2025 23:33

I'm obviously the odd one out here because I think the service is the actual most important part. A reception is fun but the marriage still happens if there's no party.

Someone2025 · 01/08/2025 23:42

No, I definitely would not go

chocolatelover91 · 01/08/2025 23:44

The church does not include a bar. So I would politely decline 😅🤣

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 01/08/2025 23:51

It’s never too late for a gastro bug & there are a lot doing the rounds right now. Have a day at home drinking tea and pottering. She wont notice you're not there.

Enko · 01/08/2025 23:53

I would go. I love a wedding the service is the bestt bit imo. I would assume she is closer with the other friend than you

ForgetYourShovel · 01/08/2025 23:54

TubeScreamer · 01/08/2025 22:49

If it was close by and I wanted to go, then I would go. If you don’t fancy it or can’t face it then don’t.

This. Go if you want to, and it’s not out of your way or clashing with other plans.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 01/08/2025 23:56

The church part is the best bit.

Nobody gets invited to it because anybody can go to a wedding service. You can't be turned away, even if you don't know the bride and groom.

AlwaysTheRenegade · 01/08/2025 23:56

Is she definitely having a wedding breakfast? Not the church, then an evening reception straight after?

Redglitter · 02/08/2025 00:00

I've never heard of an invite just to the church. Normally anyone invited to the service then goes to the full reception

I wouldn't go. Its not like shell notice youre not there

Unsmart · 02/08/2025 02:06

I think it's really sad so many pp think the service is the " boring " bit.
Surely the whole point of the couple getting married is the exchanging of vows?
I think if you genuinely like this person and want to see her and her future husband commit themselves to each other and their future together then go to the service.
But if you are only bothered about the wedding because other people are going and the significance of the ceremony doesn't interest you then I wouldn't go.

WilfredsPies · 02/08/2025 04:32

I wouldn’t go, especially if she only invited you after the wedding came up while you were there.

But the good news is that you can have a lovely day doing something nice that you enjoy. You don’t have to iron anything or faff about with a card or whether or not you should give her a gift, there’ll be no awkwardness about whether you hang about for photos or one of those aisle things that are quite popular now, or mutual friends asking where you disappeared to after the church, and you don’t even have to tell her because she’ll never notice you aren’t there and you won’t be wasting a meal or a place that could have gone to someone else.

I would definitely see this as a positive.

Monty27 · 02/08/2025 04:37

I wouldn't go. I'd feel like a poor relation.

Hillarious · 02/08/2025 04:48

You don’t need an invitation. Anyone can go to the church to see a couple get married. It is the most important part of the day. I’d go!

Guavafish1 · 02/08/2025 05:01

I would go if I had no plans… I like weddings

Vivienne1000 · 02/08/2025 05:35

Don’t turn up, she won’t notice. Then politely tell her afterwards that you had a family emergency. Does she just want more presents? Or a full church?

Rozendantz · 02/08/2025 05:42

Unsmart · 02/08/2025 02:06

I think it's really sad so many pp think the service is the " boring " bit.
Surely the whole point of the couple getting married is the exchanging of vows?
I think if you genuinely like this person and want to see her and her future husband commit themselves to each other and their future together then go to the service.
But if you are only bothered about the wedding because other people are going and the significance of the ceremony doesn't interest you then I wouldn't go.

Absolutely this. Where I grew up everyone was invited to the church service as that's obviously the most significant part of it all. A much smaller group then go to the lunch or dinner afterwards.

But if you don't know them well or don't want to see them get married then don't go.

Zanatdy · 02/08/2025 05:44

I wouldn’t go either. Fair enough if all work colleagues just going to the service, but if some are going to the whole thing (assume those colleagues bride is closer to) might feel a bit odd. When my friend got married, some people turned up to see bride come out of church who were invited to the night do, guess they could have come inside but didn’t. But they had an invite to part of it, if you’re just church, I wouldn’t go no.

BellissimoGecko · 02/08/2025 06:34

I wouldn’t go. Being invited to the church is not an invitation; it’s a public venue. Shame you have plans for tomorrow…

autienotnaughty · 02/08/2025 06:44

Anyone can go to the service as it’s a public event . So the invite is a bit meh. I just wouldn’t go, I doubt she would notice. I agree it woild feel awkward when everyone else goes to the reception and you’re not there.
if she invited everyone from the group but not you that’s a bit mean . If a couple of people she is a bit closer too are invited and it happened that you were stood with them when the wedding came up I can see why she thought including you inthe service would be a nice thing to do. But it doesn’t mean you have to go.

pilates · 02/08/2025 06:53

I wouldn’t go

Arewethebadguys · 02/08/2025 07:00

Weddingconundrum · 01/08/2025 22:41

Urgh I’m worried now that she’s just felt like she had to invite me just because I was there when the topic of the wedding came up 😫

Definitely don't go! Trust your gut!

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