husband meeting colleague

[everysunrise]

Hi,
my husband has arranged to meet his female colleague on their day off with our 2 young children and hers (hers are 9+) at a pub with playground.
Would you be ok with this?

Yes unless you felt there was more to it than met the eye. Men and women are allowed to be friends and this sounds perfectly innocent.

Unless there's a backstory about him messaging her at all hours or meeting her a lot?

Oh get a grip.

Of course.

Honestly there is no point in asking such questions without providing the context and background. Unless, genuinely that is your question, in which case, yes it is fine as they are friends.

Doubt they'll be shagging with four kids in tow.

Have you reason to be suspicious about their friendship OP?
Have you met her and her children?
Is she in a relationship?
Was your H open about telling you about this meet up.
It's hard to tell whether this is a date or just friends meeting up without more information.

It could be innocent and could be not. In an ideal world it’s innocent but sometimes affairs do start this way, for a minority of colleagues. There are quite a few couples at my company.

I can see why you don’t like it.

Why aren’t you invited?

I dont get why people say 'I doubt they'll be shagging with kids there", well no obviously not, but that doesn't mean they never would.

Has he met up with male colleagues and their children before?

Well, going against the grain here I wouldn't like that. I would tell my DH that I was uncomfortable with it and he'd have enough respect for me and our marriage to cancel.

That said, I know DH wouldn't make such an arrangement anyway; if he did it would be so out of character I'd definitely be suspicious.

And before anyone suggests I'm controlling, he gets plenty of freedom to do what he wants, when he wants (as do I) but we both have our boundaries.

I’d have no problem with this at all - do you think they are having an affair?

it looks like “meet my children” but not my wife? were you not invited along? I would be very suspicious.

I’d wonder why I wasn’t invited, yes.

No i would not be ok with this. Especially if he has not done this with male colleagues before. My ex used to go on about a female colleague who had cats like we did called themselves the Cat Club. We had been to her wedding too etc. He left me and our three young children for her!!!!

im going to be honest, I wouldn’t like it. Things like this lead to an emotional affair and often turn physical. I don’t see the need to meet a female colleague out of work. I genuinely think a man needs to feel some level of attraction to a woman to maintain a meet up friendship who he actively goes out his way to engage with etc. I really couldn’t see a man saying he’s going to meet up with an obese OAP to take the kids out as they’re “friends” and have a lot in common. To be fair probably some can, I don’t want to speak for all men, but I bet it’s a minority!

DH has arranged a playdate? In a public place, with someone he presumably gets along with ok.

I mean, there has to be a massive backstory here if you are suspicious. Otherwise, no I wouldn't care. I'd think it was nice and not give another thought.

It is entirely possible to go through life just knowing, and liking the company of, people of the opposite sex. Or even not liking them that much but having something in common (ie kids of the same age).

It depends. My mum was best pals with her boss for years and he and his wife ended up becoming a two of my parents best friends.

I’ll be working, they both have the same day off in this week

No i wouldn't like this

No I wouldn’t appreciate that at all.

I wouldn’t be bothered about this at face value, unless there’s a backstory in which you don’t trust him or their relationship.

I’ll be working. I trust my husband but I guess I have a fear of something developing which is why I’d prefer he didn’t put himself in this position.
do I say something to him?

How would you bring this up with your husband?

How would you bring this up with your husband?

Mmmm I’d like to think I’d be ok with it but I’m not sure that I would… I can’t apply any rationale to that feeling