To ask neighbour to close curtains

[Handrearedmagpie]

First of all, I know IABU. It's more a question of HOW unreasonable.
My young DS is autistic, non speaking and has a severe learning disability. Meltdowns are triggered by sudden changes like adverts on the TV. Neighbour diagonally across street from me has very large windows and an ENORMOUS TV. Never shuts her curtains/blinds so DS can watch her TV from our house and fixates on it when his own tablet is removed before bedtime.
Every. Single. Night. It's meltdown when adverts appear on her TV. Obviously I shut our own blinds but he knows her TV is there and just opens them again, or he will go upstairs and hyper focus on her TV from my bedroom window.
How horrendously unreasonable would I be to ask her to close her blinds for half an hour at night just to avoid this nightly hysteria??! I'm at my wits end with it.
YABU - absolutely unreasonable. It's your child's disability to manage.
YANBU - you can only ask and see what she says.

Something that came to mind from another comment, if he goes to his room with the expectation of watching her tv and she is out and the tv off, does that distress him as I am guessing that is outside his usual routine. That's a serious question as well I am not be facetious

My comment was in relvance to OP asking her to alter her behaviour, when there's no reason to alter it, because her behaviour is perfectly normal. OP has no say on what neighbour does with her curtains or windows.

This is crazy - nobody should be letting their child watch TV through another person's window.

As much of a delight as you.

Getting your neighbour to adjust their living habits is not simple. Adapting your own habits and household is simple.

Sorry OP it’s a no from me for two reasons.

1. You havent showed that you have tried everything else so the ‘easier’ answer is to possibky inconvenience someone else. I don’t agree with this
2. Maybe that person has a reason they have the tv on and the curtains open (which is perfectly reasonable). Also, the fact that their tv is ‘enormous’ is irrelevant.

Yeah its nice to be nice but asking someone to close their own curtains every single night even in summer is slightly entitled if you haven’t done everything first.

How isn't it?
She's asking the neighbour to solve her child's issue.

Many people do have an idea but they quite rightly believe the OP has not exhausted all of her options. Not all children with complex issues need the bar set so low.

Exactly what is OP going to do next tell her neighbour not to watch any adult tv, horror tv or 18+ films?

Actually allowing your child to watch TV within another home is actually pretty bad moderation of content your child sees. All the more reason to solve the issue in her own home.

But OP the problem is if you ask you are putting them in a very difficult position. Some people would find this very awkward and feel they had to say yes especially as you will explain the whole situation. They then aren’t happy. So no, you shouldn’t task and should find a solution yourself .

I did not say they should, I am asking a genuine question about something I have absolutely no experience of

I think it’s totally fine to ask in the way you have suggested. I would happily do it. My husband and kids would forget if I wasn’t around though so I do think finding your own solution would be good. Appreciate it’s tough though. We used a spray on privacy tint on the inside of our bathroom windows - that might work - you can’t peel it off and it lets the light in but it’s opaque.

I agree. I’ve found it quite depressing that the mere concept of asking someone for a favour elicits such vitriol.

No, I inow you didn't say that, I was just commenting on the overall situation. ✌️

It's not the 'mere concept of asking you" because it's a ridiculous thing to ask!

I think as long as you explain why youre asking, apologise for the inconvenience then youre ok as long as you recognise its reasonable if they say no

If they say yes, id be knocking again with a bottle/chocolates/flowers/something to show appreciation

Asking the neighbours to move their tv 😬

My tv can be on when I’m out as I have it on for my dogs behaviour issues I would explain this to the OP though. If I can help I would and would do my best when I’m around and remembered but it wouldn’t be guaranteed

@Morgenrot25 You posted 45 times in the last ten pages alone. i think we get the message that it would all be too much for you.

Op - I hope you can find a solution. My neighbours are lovely people who would listen and, if they couldn't help, they would at least be sympathetic and kind about it. Good luck to you.

In your opinion.
Many of us disagree 🤷🏼‍♀️

Fair enough! Good point.

And?
Is there a limit to how many times we're allowed to respond to ridiculous suggestions?

Many folk agree how ridiculous it is.
Some folk are also mixing up compassion for OP with thinking it's OK to ask others to solve your problem.
HTH.

Why the patronising HTH??
At no point have I said everyone should think the same so of course some people agree with you.
It seems like you’re just arguing for the sake of it now.

There isn't any harm in asking.

a certain few posters are being ridiculous and from now on I'm just going to ignore them because they're incredibly irritating.

I'm sure @Handrearedmagpie 's neighbour is a normal person who won't mind being asked & will be able to help or not according to her personal circumstances.

No, I'm replying to you arguing for the sake of it. Feel free to ignore me. HTH.