Help, birthday present for 80 year old mum

[Speedygonzales78]

Posting here for traffic!
My mum will be 80 next week, and i have no idea what to buy her. Been short on funds until today too so that hasn't helped.
No perfume, no jewellery, no clothes, no ornaments, isn't interested in spas, afternoon tea, days out, cant walk far, suffers from constant dizziness so doesn't watch tv, go far from home, doesn't really have any interests anymore. So I'm absolutely flummoxed, and dad has no idea either!

Can you do a little hamper of her favourite things? Biscuits, jams, chocolate, cake, wine, cocktails?

What about an afternoon tea by post? A huge bouquet of flowers?

digital photo frame?

Books? One of those meals where you get the ingredients delivered and you cook them yourself? A short holiday? What does she do all day?

Why give any gift if there's nothing she wants, what about spending quality time together, would she manage a quick lunch out?

Audiobook player with a selection of books or voucher towards some?

A heated throw?

I should think she’d want a diagnosis and solution to her constant dizziness, before she can enjoy much …

That really can’t be fun to live with - so I’m afraid, in this instance, I don’t think a list of gift options from strangers is of much use.

(If the cause is already known, someone should be kicking up a fuss to Get Something More Done.)

An Audible subscription (if she has a device)
A beautiful knitted blanket
Some luxury skincare, hand cream etc
An electronic photo frame that cycles pictures of family and friends
See if there's a local chef who will deliver a special meal for 2 at home if she doesn't want to go out
A visit from a mobile hairdresser, or beautician for a manicure or facial

The Skylight digital photo frame to which family and friends can send new pictures every day pleased my DM enormously for the last couple of years.

They may well be "kicking up a fuss". It's not easy to get help for QOL stuff, especially for elderly people, as I know from bitter experience . I'm sure you meant your comment kindly, but it could easily be misconstrued as judgemental and unkind.

My dad was quite unwell when he turned 80 so my sibling & I spent the weekend with him, cooked a nice evening meal with some daft tweaks (his kind of thing), stacked his logs for the winter, sat around, chatted, the three of us baked a cake together. I got him a book - nothing special, just something he’d enjoy.
It was a really nice weekend, and, I’d like to hope, a nice memory for him. I was worried about it not being significant enough, but he didn’t actually seem to want significant- just nice.

This is an expensive website so it might not be what you're looking for but I find consumable gifts often go down well:

https://www.lavialla.com/en-GB/orderform/gift-ideas/gift-ideas-the-classics/

Alternatively, some good olive oil and balsamic vinegar - even just from the supermarket?

Or some chutney/fruit for cheese/membrillo and some interesting cheeses plus some good crackers maybe? Could add a bottle of oloroso or amontillado sherry as those last quite well if she might fancy it but it might not suit if she's dizzy.

You've said no clothes, but would she be interested in e.g. really nice slippers/bed socks/PJs if she's stuck at home and unwell a lot?

Had this with my mum. Incredibly difficult to solve. Can be crystals in ears or stress or multiple other things. Never did solve it really but mum’s dementia got worse and somehow the dizziness receded.
Absolutely agree with hamper of lovely things to eat/drink.

A monthly flower subscription (bloom and wild) has been a huge success with my mum who's a similar age and also doesn't want presents. She really looks forward to them arriving and has fresh flowers most of the time.

Monthly flower or book subscription?

Might she like a visit from a mobile hairdresser?

A bit corny, but really nice slippers with arch support.

A beautiful shrub for the garden?

A craft kit of some kind?

Does she have a favourite animal? Can you adopt one at the local zoo?

@ArghhWhatNext
That's absolutely lovely.

Cook do really nice freshly prepared meals that you can order and they come frozen. You could order some or get a voucher.
I’ve also done the flower subscription thing before.
Magazine/puzzle book subscription?

What is your budget?
And how does she spend her time? You say no interests but what does she do to occupy her time at the moment?

She has extremely low blood pressure, she's at risk of passing out at any time, has done many times and they've even told her not to bother calling an ambulance anymore as once she comes round she's fine. She also has terminal bowel cancer and has now refused treatment due to the sickness side effects which would just make her feel worse and only give her a few months.

Sorry, tried not to drip feed but also she doesn't particularly have a sweet tooth, doesn't have caffeine although that would raise her blood pressure and help the dizziness, also can't have alcohol either. Needs to limit chocolate too.
My hopes were that someone on here might have an idea that I haven't thought of.
Oh and they basically eat out at the same pub twice a week.
I suggested to my dad about going somewhere nice for a meal and inviting all the extended family, he hadn't even thought of that 🙄or even putting on a gathering at their house and inviting the family and id do a buffet but shed rather just go to the same pub.
They are very set in their ways and everything must be done certain ways which is too much to go into here.

Sorry she also can't read anymore due to the dizziness and doing crosswords etc also out the window.

Could you invite her extended family to join her at that pub?

Thanks, we certainly have been pushing for years about this. She has stage 4 bowel cancer, has now decided against further treatment, initially diagnosed in 2021 and not even f*ing told then it was stage 4, just "treatable" without the doctors actually confirming the difference between treatable and curable. So they thought she would be OK, however last year's scans confirmed spread to liver and lungs. She also has a hernia that she says there's no point getting that operated on as "with everything else I've got why would they bother"