Help, birthday present for 80 year old mum

[Speedygonzales78]

Posting here for traffic!
My mum will be 80 next week, and i have no idea what to buy her. Been short on funds until today too so that hasn't helped.
No perfume, no jewellery, no clothes, no ornaments, isn't interested in spas, afternoon tea, days out, cant walk far, suffers from constant dizziness so doesn't watch tv, go far from home, doesn't really have any interests anymore. So I'm absolutely flummoxed, and dad has no idea either!

We have, after pishing from me, my dad wasn't going to bother because 1 cousin of mine lives an hour away ( retired and visits her my aunt every other day over here anyway!

I did say to him that you'd think people would make an effort for an 80th when there won't be many more unfortunately.

I'm so sorry to hear that. That's been handled appallingly badly by the doctors involved.

I think I'd just concentrate on things that would make her day-to-day life more comfortable and small luxuries that might make her smile. I'm guessing nothing that anyone has suggested has hit the mark so far but maybe just think about her daily routine and if there's anything she uses or eats every day that you could get a "special" version of.

My cousin commissioned a painting for her mum's 80th. She has a lot of heart trouble, and so doesn't go out anymore. My cousin found a photo of the view from my aunt's childhood bedroom window (she lived on a farm), and had that painted as a watercolour by a local artist. It's absolutely beautiful, and a very unusual present which my aunt completely fell in love with.

A new radio, as she can’t watch tv
new nightwear/slippers/dressing gown set (especially if she may be having hospital visits upcoming)?
throw/blanket
definitely try and arrange a gathering even if for close family only

I'm sorry for your mum's health situation and can understand why you really want to get her something nice. My mum is equally as difficult to buy for, she's a similar age and not one for jewellery, cosmetics or spas. I like the idea of the digital picture frame. Another thing that went down well was to have a local shop make up a gift basket with oatcakes, cheese, chutney, savoury nibbles that she wouldn't buy for herself (she doesn't have a sweet tooth either). They made it look really lovely and she enjoyed it, also it wasn't more stuff that she had to find space for in the house.

Oh yes, another idea, I have an elderly friend who doesn't really want "stuff" but I did her a small (10 x 10 cm) landscape painting of a mountain she enjoyed going up in her younger days. Perhaps you could find an artist or do something yourself?

I think ill try and make up a little hamper of some foodie bits and other stuff, I'm.a big fan of Sostrene Grene and they have lovely quirky little things inthere and a lot of useful stuff, its a pity about her dizziness because she used to paint glass and ceramics and they sell that sort of thing too.
Unfortunately any food has to be without onion as that dies her bowels no good, nothing spicy either!

What about a bird feeder? Perhaps the type that's attached to the window so that she could sit in her armchair and watch the birds. Would your Dad be able to manage filling it regularly, he could use things like Niger seeds to attract colourful children to birds.
Or
A group photo of you and your siblings, or along similar lines...you could make a album of your favourite childhood photos for her to dip into.
Or
Create a playlist of her favourite music.
Or
Silk pillow cases to reduce her hair tangling up.

A cheerful plant will last longer than flowers . .

Or does she have a chiropodist who visits? My aunt aged 90 absolutely loved her chiropody sessions, which involved lots of moisturiser and foot massage as well as nail trimming . . . Or a trip to the hairdresser (perhaps with added manicure) as a mini pamper session before her outing, . . . ?

If you are going to have a family meal at the pub would she like to have her hair done? A mobile hairdresser could make it quite easy.

It does sound challenging but I bet she wants your company more than gifts she has no interest in.

when my mum turned 80 i put £80 in a smash money box and pledged her £2 a week till her next birthday where she can break open the money bank and treat herself to something special..5 months to go

would she like to watch birds at a bird table? Or to listen to an audiobook?

Photo album of favourite memories? voucher for the pub to pay for a few meals? a new glasses case or manicure kit or jigsaw?

My mum had a game called find it when she was having chemo. She enjoyed it but it was also easy for other people to pick up when conversation dried up or she had a doze, so something like that might be a good idea?

my mum gets so much pleasure from a bird feeder pole with feeders of bird seed and peanuts. She watches a variety of birds all year round

Your poor mum, I hope she enjoys her birthday. I know exactly how you feel - wanting to make it lovely and knowing n out much can now improve her enjoyment or quality of life.

my gran used to love having a hand manicure - mum or I would do it, smooth in some hand creams, trim and shape and buff, then paint her nails. we would natter and she just loved feeling feminine and looked after. Cheap and simple, but hugely satisfying

My dad really enjoyed having a water filter in the fridge and a soda stream machine! He had cancer but liked very slightly sparkling water, sometimes with a squeeze of lemon or a dash of elderflower or lime cordial. He said it helped with his nausea and was much nicer than boring old tap water.

I had a window bird feeder and that was amazing! Blue tits all the time.

Oh no, I don't know where colourful children came from in my post, it should just be colourful birds! 🦩 🦜 🦚 🦜 🦩

We made a cushion cover using family photos and got the kids to draw happy birthday pictures which we photographed and put on the cushion . She loved it .

How about some reflexology? Our elderly neighbour found it amazing when she was facing some health issues last year.

As a family we bought my grandad a bath lift. If that's a bit pricey, a one cup water dispenser, takes the risk out of lifting a hot kettle. A voucher for ready meals.

What about a nice plant for the garden (if they have one?). Looking out at greenery and flowers always lifts my spirits

Turtle doves. Recycled cashmere wrist warmers. Lovely.

Op Do you think it would be possible to tell her she is going to the pub, but have her sister and your cousin there too? Little surprise party ?

I really think at this stage in the game having some lovely memories with her entire family will be worth a whole lot more than 'stuff'.
Does the pub or any venues near you have a private room that could be used, so you can have some background music will all her favourite tunes, using a streaming service and a speaker.

Has she any old friends that she rarely or never sees - just gets a Christmas card from - that you could contact and organise them to send a photo or a brief verbal message - or maybe a phone call to chat about old times?

Would she like a silk pillowcase? John Lewis have a good selection of colours.

Make her a memory box. My sister made my Mum one for her 80th and it was clearly her favourite gift. Buy a lovely box. My sister found one with roses on. Then hand write out 80 special memories you shared with your Mum on pieces of paper. My Mum loved it so much she cried when she realised what it was. She often used to be reading through them after her birthday too.