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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think you don’t catch a butterfly and take it round M&S

418 replies

FanofLeaves · 31/07/2025 12:32

Was just picking up a few bits in M&S and there was a girl about 8 years old or so swinging one of those butterfly net thingies off her arm. On closer inspection I saw she had one in there (not the ones you send away for, although that would be bad enough, one that had obviously been procured organically)

Her mum was busy looking at something so I said to the girl ‘oh! What a pretty butterfly. That’s a large white. I except you’re going to let it go after you’ve finished your shopping, aren’t you?’

The mum came over beaming presumably ready to hear a comment about what a fun summer holiday activity this all is, and said ‘no, we’ll take it home, keep it for a few days and observe it. It flew straight into the net so we had this ready to pop it straight into!’

‘I said ‘well I’m sure it would have been preferred to be observed in nature, where it was, not caught in a net and taken round the shops. Don’t you think it’s a bit cruel?’

Anyway she was visibly annoyed, and said ‘it’s fine. My children are learning about nature! We know what it eats!’

Anyway she steered her child away from me and said some people are just very joyless and bitter.

Yeah I know I probably sound like a busy body but I can’t bear it when parents tell their kids it’s ok to just take stuff out of nature for their own amusement. Why is it ok to do this? It’s so Victorian, to capture a creature to just look at it, no thought for the poor thing at all. Don’t get me started on why they still sell butterfly nets 😭

OP posts:
westartfires · 31/07/2025 14:12

I’m glad you said something OP - hopefully it will make them think twice before doing that again. Horrible to capture the creature and remove it from its natural habitat for your own amusement.

HuskyJeans · 31/07/2025 14:13

FanofLeaves · 31/07/2025 14:00

I was in M&S so I said M&S. if it was Asda I’d have said it was that 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’d have said the same thing if it was any insect in there to be honest, not just because butterflies are pretty.

And where does it end really if you can’t make any kind of stand against the destruction of nature or wildlife if you still consume animal products? Like another poster said, should all employees of animal welfare charities resign unless vegan? Should I go outside and kick down my bug hotel, screw those guys, I’m not vegan so who cares right? I’ll stop my donations to the horse rescue charity while I’m at it, because I ate scrambled eggs for breakfast. It’s absolutely ludicrous to say you only earn the privilege of caring for living creatures if you have nothing to do with the consumption of them, because you’re left with a teeny tiny minority of people who will do fuck all except feel superior to non-vegans for their life choices. Now I know that’s not all vegans but certainly those types always seem to pop up on here.

Edited

Feel free to do all those things but if the little girl had come up to you and said " do you know free range means nothing to the actual birds" you'd be be on here complaining about angry vegan children ruining your scrambled eggs. Do you see why it's relevant? I bet you'd be the first to whine about someone ruining your shopping experience by handing out leaflets about the dairy industry or how chickens are kept

DJEvil · 31/07/2025 14:15

I wouldn’t let my children capture one and carry it about but I wouldn’t say anything to a random child either.
It’s not the child’s fault, we’re a society that encourages keeping animals for entertainment.

MidnightMeltdown · 31/07/2025 14:17

YANBU. This parent has shit for brains.

FanofLeaves · 31/07/2025 14:19

HuskyJeans · 31/07/2025 14:13

Feel free to do all those things but if the little girl had come up to you and said " do you know free range means nothing to the actual birds" you'd be be on here complaining about angry vegan children ruining your scrambled eggs. Do you see why it's relevant? I bet you'd be the first to whine about someone ruining your shopping experience by handing out leaflets about the dairy industry or how chickens are kept

Well I’d agree with her 🤷🏻‍♀️ just because I eat eggs it doesn’t mean I’m clueless about chicken welfare.

OP posts:
MidnightMeltdown · 31/07/2025 14:20

DJEvil · 31/07/2025 14:15

I wouldn’t let my children capture one and carry it about but I wouldn’t say anything to a random child either.
It’s not the child’s fault, we’re a society that encourages keeping animals for entertainment.

I think it’s a good things that the child has been told. Clearly the mother is too thick to parent.

DontTouchRoach · 31/07/2025 14:20

PerfectTuesday · 31/07/2025 12:36

Don't they only live for a day or so? They might be disappointed if they are hoping to observe it.

Regardless of whether you are vegan or not, butterflies are a declining species so shouldn't be captured for that reason alone.

They live for a least a few weeks, and some can live for up to a year. Some species hibernate and migrate etc.

They're dickheads for taking it home to 'observe' it though. They won't be able to observe it doing much at all if it's stuck in a jar in their house, and the whole time it's in their house it won't be fulfilling its role as a pollinator in the ecosystem.

Noshadelamp · 31/07/2025 14:33

gotellsomeone · 31/07/2025 12:40

I would find your view point hypocritical unless you were. I am and would be upset by this, not enough to say something though.

This makes no sense. So only vegans can have views on cruelty to animals, yet you wouldn't have said anything?

Vegans don't have a monopoly on wanting to help and protect animals.

GardenOfTomatoes · 31/07/2025 14:41

You wouldn’t get this nonsense in Lidl

SatsumaDog · 31/07/2025 14:41

I would probably have thought the same thing op, although I don’t think I would have said anything. It does seem daft to take the poor thing into M&S. Hardly in its best interests. We did have one of those
butterfly hatching things once, but let it go as as soon as it was ready. I would never let my kids catch one in the wild and stick it in a net to carry around.

Cherrysoup · 31/07/2025 14:44

Appalling behaviour from the parent to allow this, cruel.

Bumblebee72 · 31/07/2025 14:46

I never really understand why some people get so upset about some animals but not others. A butterfly in a net outrange. Millions of enslaved dogs no issue at all. It almost like the opposite of rabbits where if they are wild it is fine to shoot and eat them but shoot a rabbit from Pets at Home and you are a heartless killer.

Scorchio84 · 31/07/2025 14:47

I remember growing up & the (bold) boys would go to our shops & ask for empty containers, like the ones you'd get Apple drops or those kind of sweets in from behind the counter & they'd then go & catch mostly Bumble Bees.. to what end??

That said my sister & later I used to "rescue" snails from our rhubarb patch & put them "safely" into a cardboard box so..

She also used to capture Tadpoles

FanofLeaves · 31/07/2025 14:47

Bumblebee72 · 31/07/2025 14:46

I never really understand why some people get so upset about some animals but not others. A butterfly in a net outrange. Millions of enslaved dogs no issue at all. It almost like the opposite of rabbits where if they are wild it is fine to shoot and eat them but shoot a rabbit from Pets at Home and you are a heartless killer.

But the enslaved dogs weren’t in M&S. the butterfly was.

FWIW I hate Pets at Home and think it’s disgraceful you can buy a live hamster on a whim for the same price as a glass of wine. But that’s another story.

OP posts:
whitewinespritzerandastraw · 31/07/2025 14:51

I agree with you. Fine to have a quick look, but needs to be released asap.

Bumblebee72 · 31/07/2025 14:55

FanofLeaves · 31/07/2025 14:47

But the enslaved dogs weren’t in M&S. the butterfly was.

FWIW I hate Pets at Home and think it’s disgraceful you can buy a live hamster on a whim for the same price as a glass of wine. But that’s another story.

Edited

I agree. It is equally shocking you can buy an ex-live chicken for less in a supermarket. If it makes you feel better I once had Peruvian neighbours who got banned from Pets at Home - it turns out you can only buy so many Guinea Pigs in a year before they start asking questions.

Decembersunset · 31/07/2025 14:59

Yes, you are unreasonable to upset a child and their parent over your personal beliefs what is wrong. You can only intervene if people are doing something illegal/explicitly prohibited like capturing endangered species. It is not illegal in the UK to capture or keep animals, indeed I assume you don't confront every single fisherman, dog owner, pest control worker you meet.

NigelPonsonbySmallpiece · 31/07/2025 15:00

GardenOfTomatoes · 31/07/2025 14:41

You wouldn’t get this nonsense in Lidl

Hmmm, I saw someone with a pack of emotional support poodles in Lidl once 🤣

NigelPonsonbySmallpiece · 31/07/2025 15:01

Bumblebee72 · 31/07/2025 14:55

I agree. It is equally shocking you can buy an ex-live chicken for less in a supermarket. If it makes you feel better I once had Peruvian neighbours who got banned from Pets at Home - it turns out you can only buy so many Guinea Pigs in a year before they start asking questions.

Well that was nice of your neighbours to be rescuing them and running a Guinea pig sanctuary. 👍🏻

Bumblebee72 · 31/07/2025 15:02

NigelPonsonbySmallpiece · 31/07/2025 15:01

Well that was nice of your neighbours to be rescuing them and running a Guinea pig sanctuary. 👍🏻

Yeap - and the food they cook for them on the BBQ smelt delicious!

NigelPonsonbySmallpiece · 31/07/2025 15:03

Ddakji · 31/07/2025 13:54

Well, I hate seeing crabs jammed into buckets for children’s fun, even if they are released, but I’ve never gone up to kids crabbing and lectured them about it.

There are posters up now in some Cornish harbours which is nice to see.

NigelPonsonbySmallpiece · 31/07/2025 15:04

Bumblebee72 · 31/07/2025 15:02

Yeap - and the food they cook for them on the BBQ smelt delicious!

Edited

🤣🤣🤣. But the price of them, and there’s next to no meat on them. Pork would be cheaper.

FanofLeaves · 31/07/2025 15:04

NigelPonsonbySmallpiece · 31/07/2025 15:03

There are posters up now in some Cornish harbours which is nice to see.

In Cromer too! About how to release them, not over crowding them and such. It’s something I guess, at least it might make people think.

OP posts:
Scorchio84 · 31/07/2025 15:05

Bumblebee72 · 31/07/2025 14:55

I agree. It is equally shocking you can buy an ex-live chicken for less in a supermarket. If it makes you feel better I once had Peruvian neighbours who got banned from Pets at Home - it turns out you can only buy so many Guinea Pigs in a year before they start asking questions.

I think it's against an actual law (maybe in The Netherlands? Or Switzerland?) to own/buy one Guinea Pig, they need company, same sex unless you want consequences

SomethingUniqueThisTime · 31/07/2025 15:06

AhBiscuits · 31/07/2025 13:43

One fewer fucking cabbage white to destroy my vegetables. Good luck to her.

I did consider posting something similar myself!