To ask when it gets easier to get out the house on a morning?

[gettingoutthehouse]

I just want to know if it’s normal to struggle to get out the house before late morning when your husband or partner is at work?

By the time I have played with baby, fed baby milk and breakfast with the appropriate spacing between, gobbled down my own breakfast, cleaned down the high chair, possibly emptied the dishwasher and put a load of washing on, baby is tired and wants their first nap. I have the choice then of either putting them in their jumperoo or cot with some toys while I throw on leggings and a jumper and dash out the house feeling a bit scruffy at 9am (they will grizzle if I do this so I have to rush) OR let them have their first nap at home, usually on me, and then get ready a bit better while they are happy to play.

Is there a secret trick to making any of this more straightforward or does it sound about right? I really (naively) thought it would get easier as baby gets older but I’m not finding that yet… though maybe it’s just me!

I was talking to one of baby’s grandparents and they were confused that I only like to schedule one plan or main activity a day (be that a supermarket trip, meeting a friend, or a class). I plan everything else around this and always like to be home around 1pm to guarantee an afternoon cot nap so I can eat my own lunch, hang the washing to dry and start to prepare dinner. They implied I’m being too restrictive and finding excuses not to do things. I think they are of the mind that your baby should fit in around your day and you should be flexible. I don’t think that works for every baby?

I will budge from this schedule on my husband’s days off absolutely, or for a nice one-off lunch or plan I want to do, but when it’s just me with baby I can’t find another way to do it without it being chaos or resulting in difficult bedtime and disrupted night.

AIBU? Any helpful ideas or words of wisdom?

It definitely gets easier! My DD is 5 now and while there are still frustrations we can get out so much easier than when she was a baby. I think your days sound totally reasonable and similar to what I managed. I absolutely needed the cot naps at home so I could relax a bit and also get stuff done. As others have said, it all changes as their sleep changes. Just do what suits you.

If you have a second and a toddler at home you just have to pop them in a pushchair or sling and crack on with it :-)

Op, I feel you. I had a shower at 4pm today by the time I fed her dinner, high chair clean, kitchen clean, bath, book and bottle it’s 7.30 and I need a mother shower as little miss had to touch my hair with her weaning hands!! She also had to wipe her face on my top…. We also do 1 thing a day.

Sounds as though your child is older than a baby if you are " explaining"

My DS went through an uncooperative stage at about 2.5 or 3. He ended up being dropped at nursery in his pyjamas once( had no reoccurrence of that behaviour) and nursery served breakfast so if he didn't eat at home they'd feed him.

I found it easier when we didn't have to take so much stuff every time we left the house and time everything around naps and feeds. Even easier when they get to the age where they can be left at home and it's a breeze now they're adults and have left home. Although they seem to cost more now they're adults 😂

You're at home with your baby, enjoy the time. One thing a day is fine, in fact better than planning too much. Most people like to come home for naps, I did so my fay also revolved around that. Just relax, take it easy and enjoy the time ... it will go fast

Ermmm 8 weeks is less than. 2 months! I went back after 20 weeks with my first which was tough but not as tough as 8 weeks.

If you needed to start ML early ( if unwell for example) you could've used 8 out of your 16 weeks before the baby was even born. Even more chance if it was late

It was pretty unusual though. My eldest is now 29 and I don't know anyone doing that. Most if us worked to 39 weeks.

My eldest is34. Worked till 39 weeks , she was born at 42.hence ran out of MLby time she was 13 weeks

However I was working as a care assistant in a home for the elderly and quite a few of the other staff left earlier as couldn't cope being on feet all day. One girl has something with a " split pelvic something" from about 32 weeks and could barely walk and needed a frame. Obviously she had to start ML earlier

It would be easier in a sedentary office job obviously

Wasn't great was it. Thank god it's got a bit better. Though harder in some ways aas so many parents have to go full-time from a young age. 2e managed to do a lot of juggling of part time hours and get by.

Tbh it was fine I was lonely and bored at home by then stuck in with a baby

Oh my 😆

They don't listen when you tell them to go for a wee and put their shoes on

Then they want different shoes

Then they pick up at least five random toys and argue when you say they can't take the entire contents of the house with you to Tesco

Then they want the original shoes again

Then they need a wee

Then they randomly get distracted and wander off upstairs without a word

Then they need to tell you something vitally important that their friend at school told them about how the tooth fairy does her job

Then they want to draw a picture

Then they decide they hate Tesco and dont want to come so they try to negotiate buying donuts in return for cooperation when you already discussed the donut situation five times

Etc

I think a lot of this comes down to what your baby is like, and whether you have other kids/responsibilities. My baby was very colicky and screamy for the first months and (still) hates the pram, so I had similar issues. She’s my first, so I was happy and able to prioritise her. If I’d had older kids I would have had to do things differently - we would have had to be up and out for the school run, for example. She was such a difficult baby in the first months that I’ve found everything easier and easier.

Not sure about the cleaning ip after themselves but it is definitely easier with a primary school child. They dress themselves, make their own brekky, brush teeth once they are 7… they don’t cry if you put them down, they don’t poo several times as you try to get ready, you haven’t been awake most of the night breastfeeding and walking them around, they dont end up wearing half their brekky if you micro nap for a moment because you’re so tired, you dont have to take nappies wipes sippy cup grippy toy change of clothes muslin with you… how could it not be easier with a primary school child??
im with the op, I was like that, just couldn’t get us out the door in the morning.

That’s my 3yo, but she’s not a primary school age child?

I found it got easier around 3/4 once they were toilet trained, no longer napping or needing feed.

i also did the one thing a day, ds would wake at 6, we would breakfast/ dress he would have a power around 830 then we would go playgroup/shop/ grandparents etc. He’d often nap on way back have lunch , a little play then he would go down 130-330 and I got a break. We kept that routine until he dropped his naps.

It’s a lot harder when you’ve got multiple kids and need to get one to school for 8.45am. Sorry to say but one baby, and don’t need to be somewhere for a specific time, is as easy as it will get for a parent of young DC. Once I returned to work it was a stress trying to get to nursery for 8am and work soon after, with a 30-45 min drive depending on traffic. That got harder when DD came along, mat leave was harder as needed to do the school run, and then when I returned to work, had 2 places to drop off before arriving to work. I was also taking the train into london then too so had a commute to do then. Thank for the lord for the fellow nursery mums who were doing the same and were my train buddies. We still keep in touch even though our DC have all graduated this year from uni. Now I can just get the train to work myself, no drop offs. Bliss!

The theory is good, the problem is they can talk (argue/negotiate/outright refuse/magically regress and not be able to do anything) have opinions, feelings and can walk. If it’s something they want to do then sure, it might go as you said, but if it’s not it can be hellish. Some mornings I look back wistfully at when they were babies and I just picked the two of them up and left!

One thing a day planned is fine with a baby if you’re happy, they change and it becomes ‘easier’ to be out the house for longer in time.

At that age, get ready while your dh is at home in the morning to look after the baby for a bit.
I would do that and dc and I wouldn’t go downstairs until we were all dressed and ready.

This, this all day long and yes to eating with the baby at breakfast and lunch. If on solids I am assuming child is 6 months old- why are you still having contact naps ?

Probably an old-fashioned thing but I relied on a playpen for both my children once they were comfortable sitting up unaided (and then my GC when I helped raise them). It gave me time to clear up breakfast, go to the loo or just sit in the kitchen and have some p&q. They were never in there for long, prob about 30 mins, and used to look forward to 'playpen toys' that lived in there. I was never out of earshot but let the odd grumble go unnoticed.

YANBU. Like you, I always built our day around consistent nap routines, and like you are finding, this massively paid off in terms of night time sleep and an overall happy baby.

I found our day became less restricted when they drop to just the one after lunch nap. You then have the whole morning to go out and do things. 2 naps was quite restrictive, but it doesn’t last forever.

You’re doing a great job! 😊

Play pens are great! I found ours so useful for that point where they start crawling/standing up but are still unsteady. They can have fun with their playpen toys and you can do something without worrying about where they have crawled off to! 😂

Forgot to say, I’m now at the easiest point so far of getting of the house for the school run since my youngest has been aged 3-4. Reasons are:

• Both now play together independently with minimal bickering. I can get a fair bit done first thing. Whilst they play I wash up, hang a load of washing out, start core housework (eg apply bathroom cleaner or get ahead with dusting) and get myself properly ready (make up included! 😊)
• Way less stuff- no pushchair/nappy bag/potty (all the things we take out for a baby/toddler disappear!).
• Both children can help more. Both feed themselves breakfast, get things out of the fridge/cupboard, etc. Both can dress themselves, or partially. Both can brush their own teeth (supervised, I finish off). Both know where everything is they need to school and can put on shoes/coats/sun hats and carry book bags and water bottles/fruit themselves. I suddenly have 2 other people to help 😂

You’ve got easier times to come, but enjoy every moment because I miss those unhurried mornings and long baby cuddles in bed on cold Winter mornings so much 🥰

It gets easier when they drop the morning nap but you don't actually have to go out and do something every day. Its perfectly ok to stay home and not do anything. Of course if going out every day is what you need for your own sanity then carry on, but if you're doing it because you think its important for your baby, I promise you it is not.