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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Expensive hens… why

131 replies

workingitout1234 · 30/07/2025 22:18

our group of girls are early 30s in average jobs, some are mums. A hen has been planned for next year and it’s £340 each for 17 people in rural location for 2 nights with hot tub to include food (one of the girls will cook for all guests) booze and activities (games such as mr and Mrs and all low cost games like that). This is all within the accommodation - we aren’t leaving the apartment once. It looks like a lovely apartment though. This is all sharing rooms and even beds at times with others too

is this a rip off? I think it is considering it doesn’t include leaving the place at all. There is an option for 1 night at £240 but I still think that is a lot even taking inflation into consideration

we aren’t lawyers and doctors we are pretty average women

OP posts:

Elephantonabroom · 31/07/2025 09:14

It's a complete rip off and I wouldn't pay that sort of money and decline.

Barney16 · 31/07/2025 09:16

Disappointed it's not about chickens but did want to say costs for accommodation have gone up massively over about the last two years. it would be the not going out thing I wouldn't like. What if people don't get on?

legsekeven · 31/07/2025 09:18

I honestly wish stag and hen parties would go back to a night at the pub.

SaladAndChipsForTea · 31/07/2025 09:22

Is it a lot of money? Yes.

Is it a lot of money from the perspective of the property owner taking a risk of 17 people "partying" in their property? No.

its also a captive market because there aren't loads of places that accept massive groups.

Blame the breastfeeding and opt out now.

Personally I'd prefer to stay local and put on a menu of stuff over a weekend - Friday, out out, Saturday, brunch, Sat evening, dinner out, Sunday, spa & takeaway. Prob not much cost difference but save on accommodation for activities and noone needs to commit to something they don't want to do without being In or Out of the whole thing.

Wisdomtoothpain · 31/07/2025 09:22

This is pointless because for me £340 is a lot of money, but there are a lot of high earners on here who will come on and tell you that £340 is nothing, and it probably isn't when you're on about 90k a year but in the real world most people are not...

Wisdomtoothpain · 31/07/2025 09:25

I honestly for £340 would at least expect my own bed. What is it about grown adults being expected to share beds ffs, how hard is it to sort twin rooms? It's just not on.

Ginnygi · 31/07/2025 09:26

Hen party costs sound insane to me but it's only on Mumsnet I see things like that.

People I know in real life tend to have more standard, simple one evening hen dos.

It's crazy to expect everyone to spend hundreds per hen do, especially when you're at that age when lots of friends are getting married.

Steelworks · 31/07/2025 09:28

Wisdomtoothpain · 31/07/2025 09:25

I honestly for £340 would at least expect my own bed. What is it about grown adults being expected to share beds ffs, how hard is it to sort twin rooms? It's just not on.

I agree. I have no qualms about sharing a room with a stranger, but definitely not sharing beds. I wouldn’t even do that with my family (apart from dh).

Unless the stranger was … (insert hunk of choice)!

Wisdomtoothpain · 31/07/2025 09:30

Steelworks · 31/07/2025 09:28

I agree. I have no qualms about sharing a room with a stranger, but definitely not sharing beds. I wouldn’t even do that with my family (apart from dh).

Unless the stranger was … (insert hunk of choice)!

Show quote history

😁

CoffeeCantata · 31/07/2025 09:32

For that price I would expect my own room in a decent hotel and the opportunity to have a nice excursion.

The bottom line is - would you enjoy being penned up for 36 hours with the same people? I predict a post-hen thread with tales of resentment and fall-outs!

Avoid it and save your friendships!

HairsprayBabe · 31/07/2025 09:37

I've just got back from a Hen in Liverpool and I thought it was a bargain

£130 for accomm each 2 nights - sharing rooms but not beds
£30 for activity ticket (inc drink)
£30 for show ticket (inc drink)
£30 for pre paid table and drinks at a bar (4 cocktails)
£20 towards a big shop for the weekend
Didn't spend any other money while I was there either

We definitely aren't rich but I don't mind spending a bit of money on things my friends enjoy - plus it was planned over the space of about 18 months so didn't feel like one big payment

indoorplantqueen · 31/07/2025 09:38

It does seem a bit expensive but not too bad if it’s all inclusive and the food and drink are good quality.
I went to a hen party last year in a gorgeous barn with 10 other women. Paid around that and it included a murder mystery night (someone came and facilitated it), a life drawing session (was fab), all food and drinks and a Chinese meal on one night. I did have to fly in and hire a car as it was rural so that added about £200 to my costs.

LoopyLoo1991 · 31/07/2025 09:43

I did actually think you were talking about chickens lol.
Never been on a hens night or weekend as such. None of my close friends are married and neither of my half-sisters or girl cousins. I dunno. £100 for a massive night out seems fairly normal in London? I rarely party these days tbh so probably not best person to ask.

Wisdomtoothpain · 31/07/2025 09:56

Personally I would only do one night, i would find being stuck in a remote location with people for 36 hours very suffocating.

Steelworks · 31/07/2025 09:59

HairsprayBabe · 31/07/2025 09:37

I've just got back from a Hen in Liverpool and I thought it was a bargain

We definitely aren't rich but I don't mind spending a bit of money on things my friends enjoy - plus it was planned over the space of about 18 months so didn't feel like one big payment

So about £250 all in, for two nights, and that included a lot of activities. That was a bargain. A premier in /travel lodge type room can easily cost £100+ per night, and then you have food and activities on top.

cwmflahwbml · 31/07/2025 10:04

It's expensive for what it is, especially as some of you will be sharing beds. There's no way I'd do that.
However, it's not as expensive as a lot of the hens I've heard about where you're looking at around 800 quid!
So I don't think 340 quid is that much if it was going to be a great 2 days in an exciting city with everyone having their own room and transport included in the cost because a city break is likely to cost around that much anyway, but it's located rurally and you'll be in the apartment (it's not even a house) and all the food and activities etc are being organized by the group rather than going out to an event or activity.
Just say you can't because of breast feeding.

NoMoreLifts · 31/07/2025 11:17

I am a bit surprised that every single response isn't "SHARING A BED!".
Am I reading it wrong? There aren't many people I'd share a bed with (outside of emergencies).

RampantIvy · 31/07/2025 11:22

legsekeven · 31/07/2025 09:18

I honestly wish stag and hen parties would go back to a night at the pub.

They would if all invited pushed back. Simply saying "I can't afford this overpriced monsterfest but I would love a night out instead.

WhatASweatyBetty · 31/07/2025 11:25

I too thought this was going to be about 🐓 🐔 I’m somewhat disappointed 😂

User79853257976 · 31/07/2025 11:28

I bet they are expecting you to pay for the bride too.

Wisdomtoothpain · 31/07/2025 11:34

Every single baby shower or hen etc. I'm invited to I'm always expected to pay towards the bride or mother to be too. Then the inevitable price going up because Linda felt too overwhelmed to attend the day before. I'm going to start pushing back more.

cwmflahwbml · 31/07/2025 11:58

One of the advantages of being late 40s is that hen parties are behind me and that when we were in that phase of lots of people getting married we just went to the pub and got pissed, had a hangover and that was the end of it.
Now everyone is married or not interested in getting married ever, some are divorced, but nobody has had some ridiculous hen trip costing a small fortune for second marriages, thank goodness.

Same for destination weddings - all my friends and relatives had normal weddings in the town they lived in, a reception afterwards and a piss up in the evening.

Tollington · 31/07/2025 12:46

Aren’t you busy that weekend?

nutbrownhare15 · 31/07/2025 13:14

I would not be asking my friends to spend that much on a 2 night hen do. Everyone stayed at mine for mine!

mindutopia · 31/07/2025 13:27

I think that’s quite standard for a basic hen do. The accommodation must be ridiculous to be able to house 17 people, unless everyone is sharing a bed or sleeping on sofas (in which case, yes, very overpriced).

Dh has been best man a lot, so has organised a lot of stag dos. And as none of his friends are the cheap booze and hookers in Eastern Europe sorts 😂 he’s booked a lot of nice country houses for the weekend. £1500-2500 a night wouldn’t be unheard of for a massive 10 bedroom house, 2 people to a room.

But I would be bored to tears just sitting around playing games and hanging out and drinking all weekend. I’d want to do something fun during the day. Even if we had dinner back at the house. That said, my ‘hen do’ was a BBQ and it lasted about 6 hours and no one had to pay a thing besides my mum and I because we bought all the drinks and food. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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