Was this man in supermarket being unreasonable?

[Ididntaskyou]

I went to the supermarket today with my 10 year old.

I want to be very clear before I’m accused of drip feeding or being a menace in the shops. Ds is a very calm, quiet and well behaved child. He doesn’t mess around running riot in shops. We were doing the self scan and I was letting ds push the trolley and we were scanning things together.

Ds accidentally got in someone’s way with the trolley. I would actually say that he wasn’t so much in the way, a supermarket worker was pushing one of those huge carts with stock and was dashing around with it. Ds was a bit slow to react and I told him to watch out the way. At the same time a man with a basket was walking by.

It wasn’t even ds fault, more a case of supermarket worker, ds with our trolley and shopper man all in the same place. But in the interest of good manners I told to mind out the way. Which he did, but being a child he was a bit slow and I had to sort of direct him out of the way.

At which point shopper man decided to snap at ds to look where he’s going with THAT trolley.

Really got on my nerves. He wouldn’t have spoken to an adult like that or to a man. Adults are a pita with their trolleys all day so don’t snap at a child.

It has made me laugh those who’ve said it’s a non event.

Laughter is often the best medicine to help overcome an incredibly difficult situation.

But we weren’t doing anything we were shopping and minding our own business.

Theres a big difference between starting an anonymous discussion online and snapping at a child in the shop.

I didn’t take my bad mood out on anyone did I?

Adults act like ignorant sods in supermarkets all the time.

I agree with you on this OP.

You said your son was maybe a little bit slow moving. Perhaps that was just enough to push this man over the edge.
You don’t know what’s going on in anyone’s life.

Yeh he shouldn’t have said anything, but it wasn’t anything really awful was it?

No, nothing terrible.

Really disagree with the people saying if child can't push trolley properly he shouldn't be pushing it. How are kids expected to learn things if not by doing them imperfectly under supervision! "A bit in the way for a moment" is hardly smashing things up on purpose is it!

He sounds like he is at my level of competency with spatial awareness and trolley control and I'm 35!

Bit of a non event but it would get under my skin and ruin my day I think. I would probably loudly tell DS something like "god what a rude man you did the right thing staying calm and ignoring him, he's obviously got something wrong". Although often I'm just too taken back to say anything, and occasionally have the confidence and wherewithall to just say directly "no need to be nasty" (best option imo).

People who can't make allowances for children or old people for something that inconveniences them for 20 seconds lack resilience and if they can't control themselves enough to not say it out loud, they are dicks.

Track him down and burn his house to the ground.

A lot of people seem to be running on empty/miserable/on the very edge of their nerves or tolerance at the moment.

Try not to let it get to you and just reassure your son.

No, he wasn't "unreasonable," just impatient. The real problem is why you're stewing over it so much that you felt the need to post about it.

This is a non issue. Don't waste your energy on it. Let it go.

And did you tell the man this? If not you should have BUT it’s over, it’s done. Let it go and keep shopping with your son x

It probably is a non issue, but an issue to you nonetheless. dd has helped pushed the trolley since she was around 9/10, luckily never in a situation like yours, as I’ve always made sure she stays put (out of the way) and people can walk around her, how are they supposed to learn if they don’t try. however I have been many of times, especially when your manoeuvring a trolley load of stuff and a basket shopper comes peeling down the side of you. I don’t know if they think they are inferior to us trolley pushers but Imo they’ve always acted entitled. Then get the death stare, because you’ve almost ran into them with the trolley because they’ve not once attempted to look where they are going…. Before I get flamed, to clarify not every basket shopper is like this, sometimes the odd trolley pusher is just as bad…

The best people are the sweet old ladies who smile and think my DD5 is being charming when she is charming them (while running over their feet) 😅

My DD was so sweet today when she told the mobile library driver at her school holiday fun morning that she wanted to learn to drive the library bus and meet her boss ("Who's your boss?" she asked bossily!)

Some people love DC, some are grumpy arses like that miserable sod of a man. Ignore, OP. Your DS sounds lovely. The miserable man sounds a prat.

I don’t agree that people should so easily be ‘thrown off the edge’ as such. I have had incredibly tough times. If anything it humbles you. It doesn’t give you an excuse to huff and puff at others and walk around like a tyrant. I think it just shows the decline in our society in terms of our behaviour and interactions with others.

I had to direct my 6 year old away to the side to allow a lady off a lift in a shop recently. She huffed rolled her eyes and waved her arms as if she was fighting for her life trying to escape the lift. I gave her the mouthful she deserved.

A shopper told my son of similar age that he was “f**king rude’ when there was a confusion about her waiting to get something from a shelf. I had been bending down getting something from the lowest shelf while he stood with the trolley (not in her way). When I stood up she was standing there glaring, then she flounced past us and grabbed something off the middle shelf. It had literally been seconds, she didn’t say excuse me and I was bewildered as to why she was so angry. Told my son to push the trolley a bit further down the aisle out of the way and that’s when she said that to him as she stormed off. I heard it, followed her and told her so everyone could hear that she had no right to swear at my child.
Some people have no patience with others in public places and think it is okay to take their issues and anger out on a child when they wouldn’t dare to behave the same way to an adult. YANBU.

In the 70/80/mid 90's, men walked around and women and children were expected to get out of their way. They also thought that they could say what they wanted (they could, there was no consequences). It's important that we do our bit to break the chain and show our children that we don't men please and we don't smile through their rudeness. Don't ever apologise for taking up space.

Absolutely this. I've been through some awful, life changing things health issues and all sorts, and it's certainly humbled me and made me a lot more empathetic.

I agree that others who have been through tough times should be free to feel angry, emotional etc but not free to take it out on others. There's enough people in the world who are in terrible situations they can't escape or control, and some luckier people don't know how fortunate they are in spite of their own hardships. We all need to be a lot more conscious of others and considerate. It makes life so much better.

Sorry you had to deal with this man's impatience (and some mean comments on here). You're right your son did nothing wrong, you've been carefully guiding him on how to be a polite young man, unlike the grumpy man you encountered.
Hold your head up high. You sound like you're doing a great job and he did not have the right to speak and react rudely to your son and you.
Hope you feel some love from the world tomorrow! Xx

I think he probably would have spoken to another man, woman or child in the same way. Supermarkets bring out the worst in people.
They also bring out the best, another shopper and I just had a lovely time listening to a small boy singing a lot of songs. Meanwhile a woman was moaning arhat children should not come inside….

He sounds like an arsehole, as do most of the people on this thread.
Also he doesn’t sound like he was looking where he was going either.
The only thing I would say is that grown men can frequently be rude/very aggressive to each other.

Yes, it was rude - but I don't believe he wouldn't have been just as rude to an adult. Possibly to any adult, but especially if the adult had been a middle-aged woman - i.e. no threat to him and not an object of admiration.