Was this man in supermarket being unreasonable?

[Ididntaskyou]

I went to the supermarket today with my 10 year old.

I want to be very clear before I’m accused of drip feeding or being a menace in the shops. Ds is a very calm, quiet and well behaved child. He doesn’t mess around running riot in shops. We were doing the self scan and I was letting ds push the trolley and we were scanning things together.

Ds accidentally got in someone’s way with the trolley. I would actually say that he wasn’t so much in the way, a supermarket worker was pushing one of those huge carts with stock and was dashing around with it. Ds was a bit slow to react and I told him to watch out the way. At the same time a man with a basket was walking by.

It wasn’t even ds fault, more a case of supermarket worker, ds with our trolley and shopper man all in the same place. But in the interest of good manners I told to mind out the way. Which he did, but being a child he was a bit slow and I had to sort of direct him out of the way.

At which point shopper man decided to snap at ds to look where he’s going with THAT trolley.

Really got on my nerves. He wouldn’t have spoken to an adult like that or to a man. Adults are a pita with their trolleys all day so don’t snap at a child.

Don’t give it another thought. If you felt you and your son did nothing wrong be content with that. In these situations I tell myself you don’t know the day that man was having. Maybe he’d gotten the worst news of his life or someone he loves had just died.

I'd have certainly been saying that inside. Probably best not to escalate matters by saying it out loud: it most likely would just have upset her son further.
OP, YANBU. I say that as someone who is not at all tolerant of kids messing around and being annoying in public. Your son wasn't at all, he was genuinely struggling and that man was a dick.

He might have done. More likely, he was just a twat. On occasions when I have had horrible news, my instinct is to be kinder than normal (not that I would ever be rude to a stranger in the way described on the OP)Awful moments make me feel more tender towards the world, not more impatient.

This. I thought something had actually happened.

I’ve been in that situation before and I worry that I maybe haven’t had my usual patience. Yes he was probably being a grumpy guy but similarly we don’t know 🤷‍♀️. Whichever nothing for the OP to loose anymore headspace on.

Oh, I agree that OP shouldn't let it get to her. I just don't agree with a lot of the people who are making excuses for him (not your post specifically, more the ones which assumed the child must have been being annoying)

When my kids push the trolley I always have hold of the other end so I can direct it if needed. Best of both worlds kid gets to push others dont get annoyed

No worries. I speak to people every day at work who are scared, sad, and in pain so I know sometimes it makes people not nice. But also
there are just some arses around 🤣. Kids will be kids. I don’t have a problem unless being complete little sh*ts (I know not the case here) but I do accept that maybe I have been the one to also tut or eye roll at people/kids when they didn’t really deserve it.

This is why children shouldn't push trolleys. They can't deal with perfectly normal scenarios like a shopping cage blocking part of the aisle.

Should have said something to him at the time … not much point going over it on here now.

I'd have been even worse and purposely pushed the trolley back in front of his way and smiled.

We can all do whatever we want. His comment (to a kid!) was completely unnecessary.

I'm sorry there have been so many invalidating replies. Well done mum for getting your kid involved in the shopping and teaching them a valuable life skill rather than chucking them Infront of an iPad and hoping they'll shut up. As for the incident I can see how he would have pissed you off, especially when already running empty. Try not it gets the better of you though. As you said you know that your DC wasn't being a menace, like other have said, maybe he was also having a bad day. Not that it excuses being rude. Hope tomorrow's a better day.

Basket dude was a grumpy asshole. He would not have spoken to an adult man like that and no adult has any business speaking to someone else’s child like that. I hope your son wasn’t too discombobulated by that idiot’s behaviour

He’s 10 and he was helping me, closely supervised. It’s not like I sent him in to do the weekly shop on his own.

As I’ve said repeatedly, he didn’t do anything wrong, and neither did I.

Adults act like ignorant sods in supermarkets all the time.

Have a go at not thinking that bad things which happen to you are only happening to you because you're a woman - it works for me anyway.

For example, the absolute cretin who pulled their car around a van earlier today, on a bend, and then drove towards me on the wrong side of the road as I was driving along minding my own business, they didn't know what I identify as, and I doubt they could see through my windscreen to even hazard a guess (certainly I couldn't see them, the speed they were going at), so I know it wasn't personal.

Your ten year old got in someones way. From what you said, he didn't mean to, but he did. Today he learned several lessons, notably try not to get in anyone's way in future, and that some people aren't as pleasant to converse with as others. Can't you re-frame this as just one of those things in life that prepares him for adulthood?

This reminds me of the time that a woman with a basket, and me with a basket accidently bumped into each other, like the tiniest bump. She tore strips off me!! She made out I'd viciously assaulted her 🙄

I just very loudly and firmly said "it was an accident, get a grip woman."

Much to the amusement of the Waitrose staff member who was stacking shelves (the reason we were tight for space and collided in the first place).

Thank you. I do think people can be so weird about children in supermarkets. I do get it’s very annoying if they’re playing up or running around with trolleys and all of that.

He’s very sensible and quite the little helper.

Yabu. DS got trolley in way of man and man cross about it but both parties got on with their day seconds later ..it's a none issue..don't see why you rehashing it. Next time push the trolley not ds. Sounds like man was running on empty and exhausted

Poor man. We women must try harder to not make poor men cross.

Honestly have you even read the thread?

Ds didn’t get in the way. If anything the man as trying to push his way through.

Also, if no one ever posted about their trivial grievances then mumsnet wouldn’t exist would it?

It wasn't a woman who made a man cross. The man was cross with another male. HTH.

I agree. Poor poor angry man ! .

It’s not a non issues if it bothers you. Don’t let rude people make you feel like it wasn’t important at the time and how you were feeling. I’d of give him a mouthful but understand not everyone is like that. Some people are just dicks - it’s not a reflection on your lovely son.

A 10 year old boy. Angry man was just impatient. I hope no.angry men speak to you or any young people in your life.

I hope they don't. They do though, for all I hope. As do angry women. It's all part and parcel of having to share a planet with others.