To quit work and do an OU degree?

[Agix]

I've posted about quitting work before, due to my health. I was advised by mumsnet that at the time it wasn't the best idea. Suggestion was to go part time instead, which I did.

Since then, my health has declined further. It's some life-long mental health, some physical health, and recently diagnosed neurodivergence which may explain a whole lot of it. I am in therapy on the NHS now.

My partner and I have gotten married since. His income has also increased slightly.

Hes very keen for me to quit work now and focus on taking time to get better, he says he doesn't want to see me so unwell and with no life anymore, and just carrying on like this. He says he thinks it'll just keep getting worse if nothing changes, and I can't say I think he's wrong. I went part time, and things are still getting worse. I feel I can't catch up, nothing is getting fixed.

He is extremely keen for me to get a degree when I told him I wanted to, I never got the chance when I was younger, and I'd love to do it too. He says I deserve the opportunity and believes I'd do well.

With his take home pay, we have around £300 a month left over after current expenses.. Perhaps more when we cut and reduce the unnecessary expenses (subscriptions, etc). We have around £10k savings. So it'll be tight... But doesnt everyone have to struggle to get anywhere? He says getting further raises is not out of the question for him either. No kids, just a cat. No kids on the horizon.

I'm scared with the drop in income, my take home is low but we live well and securely now due to it, but coming round to the idea for the sake of bettering myself . I don't think current work is sustainable anyway, I'm not performing well anymore with the impact of my health. Reasonable adjustments havnt worked. Losing this job isn't off the table...

I think quitting work, and doing an OU course (Law) would be great for me. I get some time off work before course starts, can manage my own time during, learn from home, attending therapy, and have a goal so I'm not rotting... And hopefully new, better footing to re-enter the work force when I am able. Re-calibrate for 3-4 years.

Is it entirely stupid to be on the verge of doing this?

YABU - don't do it.

YANBU - do it, it could work out for the best (obviously with effort from me).

You get the full student loan/maintenance loan with the OU too.

I think the OP's issue is that she doesn't want to have to go to a brick uni as she struggles with face to face interactions due to her autism, and she is currently WFH for that reason.

There are introductory courses available, some are one offs, some longer, why not look at those first to see how you get on before plunging headfirst into a full degree?

Have you thought about coding OP? That could be done WFH full time.

I'm sure you could do it for a charity?

You're helping me think about things that I never asked about, that weren't even relevant.

I don't want to work in a law firm.

I don't need something ultra high paying.

I tried to give you grace and treat what you were saying as somewhat relevant, thank you for your input, just for the sake of being polite to you as I assumed you were "just trying to help", and then you went right off course - I gave you an inch, you took a mile. Perhaps about 10!

It's surprising that you consider yourself knowledgeable about people. You're not actually very good at communicating, or being understanding, or even parsing what you're being told by someone else.

Saying you were "simply trying to help" doesn't change what you actually did, or ended up doing. You went off on one, on your high horse, looking down your nose. Was it my disabilities? Or were you just projecting your own insecurities? I guess a bit of both.

You've had some pretty frustrating responses on here OP! Congratulations on your autism diagnosis, a lot must be clicking into place for you at the moment!!
My husband is autistic and I am in the middle of an online masters so can relate in a vicarious way to what you're saying!

A couple of thoughts...

1. you are probably well capable of doing a law degree, but it's a big commitment and you need to have a real plan of how you'll use it once you're done - it's not worth the expense and effort of doing it to 'better yourself' - you're good enough already.
2. try and find yourself a mentor(s) and coach who understands neurodiversity and who has a good perspective on the working world - they will be able to help you chart a career that suits your skills and allows you to grow.
3. talk to people before you commit and explore a range of different options before you commit to one path - really understand what you are getting yourself into before you make the jump - give yourself a target of, say, 5 people per different career option before you make any commitments - treat it like a research project
4. if you do take time out and your current organization wants to keep you, is there anyway you can formalise your studies as a career break so you have a guaranteed entry point back into the workplace

Hope that helps

The senior roles in the charity I work for very broadly remote. Remote is encouraged. It's cheaper than having offices.

Yes, I will likely have to choose somewhere else to work - who knows if the charity I am with will even exist in 4 years, or operate this way if they do.

Im going to have to hope that people stop being obsessed with grouping up in offices, and home working becomes more accepted for people who need it.

Alternative to trying is quitting work anyway eventually, because this is unsustainable, and existing on benefits. All your tax money. You could just give it directly to me, if you like? No? Then perhaps more people should be supporting WFH for disabled people.

I'll leave the thread now. It has devolved into ableism (from human rights lawyers, no less!) , and obviously that's not helpful to me at all.

Thanks for all the genuine thoughts, encouragement and (useful) cautions.

Goodness me, OP, you have read a lot into what absolutely wasn’t there. I feel you have done the same regarding some others’ posts too. And none of what I said (obviously I can’t speak for others) was based on your autism diagnosis, but rather the specific difficulties you described about your current work and your needs and what the actual law degree covers and entails.

If it makes you feel better to assume I am being snooty, feel free. No skin off my nose. But the number of “likes” I have received on my responses suggests others can see I was genuinely trying to help. And I really was. In between trying to take care of a toddler too! I’m off. Again, best of luck.

You say ableism, I say realism. Good luck, it sounds like you are going to need it.

Can’t see any ableism at all on this thread. I’m off too.

“It’s devolved into ableism”?

well, on the basis of this comment, maybe a better understanding of the law would be wise

and if I asked this question mainly about the money side of things was your intention, maybe a more appropriate forum than AIBU

If i were you I would try to continue to work part time and study with the OU. The OU is great for studying around daily life ( I did a degree and masters with the OU while working ) . Studying remotely can be quite lonely so contact with colleagues will be helpful. Also for your MH work is recognised as being more beneficial than being at home. While quitting work might should a good idea you are already stressing about a drop income which could send you into a further spiral. If working and studying doesn’t work then you can rethink quitting work, but if you have already quit it will be difficult to go back.

The OP has 100% rules out that she’s able to do that

but 100% sure able to do a law degree

You could lose your pip if it comes up for renewal during it. They will use you doing a degree as evidence that you’re fine and capable. Just be careful about that. Good luck.

The advice you have been given by experienced lawyers is invaluable and honest. If you choose to dismiss it as ableism and gatekeeping, then maybe you should give yourself some time to speak to other lawyers or law graduates on other forums, to see if you receive similar advice. I imagine you will.

University of Law offers distance learning options might be worth looking into as well as OU.

I agree. I’ve been in HR for 20 years and my final OU module was law. I’m also ND (ADHD).

OP a remote entry level HR job is beyond unlikely. And a law degree won’t prepare you for it. Sorry.

Yikes, I wouldn’t do it if I were you. Does it definitely have to be law? There’s lots of jobs where they will pay for you to do a degree if you’re desperate to get one. No idea if you can do that in the legal world but lots of other employers offer it. Bonus is, you’ll be working all the time and you won’t build up a student loan 👍

Go for it. OU are great and you will love it. Sure it will be hard but as one of my uni lecturers said why would anyone expect it to be easy? Allow 3x however long you think it may take you to complete a piece of work and just bloody revel in the sheer delight of learning something new. There is nothing like it.

Go for it OP. I have an open university degree myself and enjoyed doing it (even the exams).

This seems very very ambitious given how you convey your acute struggles in the workplace and ongoing very serious health struggles.

I say that as a law graduate OP.

The OU is excellent at supporting students with disabilities and neurodiversity and you can take time out between modules if needed, and very understanding if you need extensions etc. Student support is very good and thorough.

I'd recommend looking at their Access courses.

You say Law. Is this out of personal interest or career driven? Thinking clearly about your study motivations is important if you're committing to it for 6 years.

The support for this ND student was non-existent!

Have you been a recipient of this extensive support you speak of?

Yes they've always been very understanding and helped to signpost, more than a brick university.

law is a very transferable degree. It’s also very hard work (I studied law). BUT I do not doubt you can do it OP!

I also studied at the OU (though I did my law degree at a brick uni.

The OU is as good, if not better than a lot of standard unis and my experience was that it served me better than both my degrees studied at brick unis (RG unis also).

Do check though that they have a human rights law module. It is not a standard QLD module.

Go for it! You’ll regret not doing it. But expect hard work, so pace yourself. Attend all tutorials, always reach out to your advisor at the first sign of trouble and enjoy!