To quit work and do an OU degree?

[Agix]

I've posted about quitting work before, due to my health. I was advised by mumsnet that at the time it wasn't the best idea. Suggestion was to go part time instead, which I did.

Since then, my health has declined further. It's some life-long mental health, some physical health, and recently diagnosed neurodivergence which may explain a whole lot of it. I am in therapy on the NHS now.

My partner and I have gotten married since. His income has also increased slightly.

Hes very keen for me to quit work now and focus on taking time to get better, he says he doesn't want to see me so unwell and with no life anymore, and just carrying on like this. He says he thinks it'll just keep getting worse if nothing changes, and I can't say I think he's wrong. I went part time, and things are still getting worse. I feel I can't catch up, nothing is getting fixed.

He is extremely keen for me to get a degree when I told him I wanted to, I never got the chance when I was younger, and I'd love to do it too. He says I deserve the opportunity and believes I'd do well.

With his take home pay, we have around £300 a month left over after current expenses.. Perhaps more when we cut and reduce the unnecessary expenses (subscriptions, etc). We have around £10k savings. So it'll be tight... But doesnt everyone have to struggle to get anywhere? He says getting further raises is not out of the question for him either. No kids, just a cat. No kids on the horizon.

I'm scared with the drop in income, my take home is low but we live well and securely now due to it, but coming round to the idea for the sake of bettering myself . I don't think current work is sustainable anyway, I'm not performing well anymore with the impact of my health. Reasonable adjustments havnt worked. Losing this job isn't off the table...

I think quitting work, and doing an OU course (Law) would be great for me. I get some time off work before course starts, can manage my own time during, learn from home, attending therapy, and have a goal so I'm not rotting... And hopefully new, better footing to re-enter the work force when I am able. Re-calibrate for 3-4 years.

Is it entirely stupid to be on the verge of doing this?

YABU - don't do it.

YANBU - do it, it could work out for the best (obviously with effort from me).

But how can anyone who struggles to speak in tutorials actually practise law? Genuine question.

I'm going to be very blunt, I don't do well with face to face interaction. It's been this way my whole life. I am very anxious about being in person for this reason. This is why I look at distsnce/remote learning specifically. I have recently been diagnosed with autism, which may explain it.

My mental health is much better when I do things remotely, interacting online. My current job is entirely remote, which is why I have been able to hang on as long as I have.

If you want to take time out & study then do it but your post was completely focused on what your partner thinks and nothing at all about you. It’s never a good idea to make such a big decision on the views of what someone else thinks you should do.

I can speak. I speak fine, including to groups, colleagues, in meetings etc

i was referring to a PP who said her husband struggled to speak in tutorials.

In focusing on his opinion because his opinion encourages and supports what I want to do. I focused on this because he is directly impacted if I quit work, and the fact he supports it is an important aspect of this decision.

yeah fuck the supportive partner off, he sounds controlling.🙄

Because talking in a big group is totally different to talking one to one.

Being ND means he would take things personally and think everyone’s comments were aimed at him. He can’t read between the lines.

However, his mind is like a sponge and remembers law facts like another language. His knowledge makes him perfect to be an advocate.

Not everyone doing a law degree wants to be a solicitor. There are plenty of situations requiring specialists. My husband’s interest is Mental Capacity. OP’s is Human Rights. There should be plenty of need for that knowledge online or remotely.

I wouldn’t recommend an OU law degree if you struggle, I’m also autistic and did start the degree but switched to a different one later as some of the law modules do require a decent amount of interacting with people.

OK, thanks for answering, interesting.

Would you mind telling me more about how your husband got on? Your husband and I do sound very similar, in similar positions. My mind is also a sponge, my mind clicks with it. I'm not good with chit chatting to clients over and over again per day, but I can certainly talk to them, sort out problems, etc.

Which is why I think I could do it, and be an asset in the future despite my struggles so far. It's really nice to hear that your husband has gone for it!!

Do they have to be so rigid about roles? It sounds as if it would make sense for them to carve out a role for you that enables you to concentrate on the complex background stuff that is valuable to them, and avoid the face to face stuff that makes you ill and that lots of other people can probably do perfect well instead of you. If it means you going down to even shorter hours, that would be a win-win in terms of leaving you time to do the OU course, and allowing you to have an income and keep a foot in the door.

You sound a bit like me but from around 5 years ago. I was in a similar position but I went part time and switched to a less stressful role (in a museum - which I love). The money isn't brilliant (I earn about £1k a month but DH is a high earner), but what I bring in allows us to save and go on holidays. I do most of the housework as I don't work as much as DH but I'm happy to do this and DH helps out at weekends. We both cook dinner together in the week when he gets in from work and this arrangement works well for us.

However I'm doing a masters degree with the OU as I already have 2 undergraduate degrees. I'm studying History as it is a passion of mine and my first degree was in History. My second degree was in Nursing and I first worked as a nurse around 9 years ago. The job became intensely stressful during/after covid and I also had my own health issues which were exacerbated by stress, so I left that career to do something different and I found museum work which I've been doing for 2 years now.

I would think long and hard about stopping work altogether as I find that getting out of the house for a few days each week in a low-stress job improves my mental health and I end up studying and focusing better on my study days.

I would also think carefully about the subject you are choosing to do as Law is very full on and stressful, and possibly not the best choice if you are already struggling with your mental health. Luckily the OU do a wide range of different courses and you don't necessarily have to choose your specialism at this stage. You could chose a broad qualification such as a degree in humanities or even an Open degree and pick modules that you find interesting. The OU is such a brilliant institution and the careers advice is very good so my advice would be to choose a course that you are passionate about and enjoy rather than focusing on something that will help your career at this point and likely be quite stressful, i.e. Law. I say this from experience because you are struggling with your mental health and are likely neurodivergent. I know because I have struggled with my mental health in the past and have also struggled to maintain jobs and I chose a full on stressful course for my second degree. I am likely AuDHD but not formally diagnosed.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

I think the last sentence of this is very pertinent- keeping a bit of income and a foot in the door. OU courses can be very lengthy. It’s a long time to be out of employment if you give up work completely.

Equally your assertion that she can’t do is making assumptions about her mental health and well being. Two sides of the same coin.

Not sure if anyone has already mentioned this but if you do decide to go ahead make sure you register with the uni's disability support service and if you are offered mentoring as support (often study mentoring or peer mentoring) definitely try that. I'm a similar age and also ND and found this absolutely invaluable (when I had a good mentor). I'm finishing up an online MSc now and it has been extremely challenging and stressful at times but so worth it. It is the support from my mentor that has made a huge difference in keeping going when it felt overwhelming. I have failed and left other courses before though. If you are going to try make sure you have as much support in place as possible! Wishing you all the best with it!

I don't think my mental health is the main problem. I think autism and not understanding that's what's always been "wrong" with me has been - and that had caused my bad mental health my while life. I'm starting to understand, and work with it, and accept my limits... The law degree idea was part of that. I'm at the beginning of the journey to understanding.

I'm not so great with small talk, chatting about the weather, etc. Right now, I'm not doing so great with my time being managed by someone else, with hospital trips, broken nights, fatigue, etc. I need to continue and engage with therapy.

My mind still thrives when you give me something extremely complex to get my teeth into.

I don't want to have to quit work and be written off. I want to use my skills to participate.

Maybe I am being too ambitious. But I don't know what else to do...

OP I have an OU degree, although the way they teach the courses has changed since then. I found it very stressful by the end, but I was working 48 hrs a week at the time and you won't be doing that. I think if it's the client interaction that is burning you out then it may be a good fit for you. Do you get stressed out by working to deadlines? If not then hopefully the course would be more enjoyable than stressful. I think what a lot of people on here are missing is that you can do courses that are half or even a quarter of a normal degrees year of work, so you can give it a go without putting too much pressure on yourself.

I would have a look through all the individual courses and see what interests you and which degree paths these can fit into. It may be that law is what interests you most, or you may find that some of the other degree paths that overlap with some of the same modules suit you better if you ultimate aim isn't to become a lawyer.

I did any OU degree. It was great. Hard. I did it working full time. Couldn't do it now!
But .... If you've been out of learning then think about Futurelearn. They do short courses across a great load of topics from universities across the world. I've done courses on railway history, the Scottish clans, bookkeeping, Egyptians, comets, nuns, archaeology and others. They are largely free, but even the paid/unlimited isn't a fortune. Might be worth a trip down that route?

Theyve got a fairly extensive law section and you could see how you get on. I think some courses are credited against universit courses as well.

As per pp, can you drop down hours, change role a bit? It's tricky but I think you should try to keep that foot in the door, as getting back in may be difficult.

I had no MH conditions, no physical health problems, and was only working very p/t when I did my OU degree. Levels one and two were reasonably easy going (arts subjects) but I did find both level 3 courses really hard going - and I had previous tertiary level experience, e.g. of writing academic essays. I had certainly underestimated the time I’d need to spend at level 3.

Deadlines are beyond fine, I do well with deadlines. I work fast and thoroughly.

Thank you to everyone for the advice and thoughts so far, I promise I am taking it all in!

I think go for it! Use a student loan to cover the fees and plan not to work for the first year. You can then assess whether you can do something part time alongside it in the following years or not. But give yourself the first year to just concentrate on studying and getting used to learning again - don’t try to do too much at once. X

Also forgot to say I’m studying with the OU and working but doing a history degree so probably not as intense as a law degree! But I’ve loved every bit of my course so far and would really urge you to give it a go x

The one thing I couldn't do is work and study at the same time. I couldn't drop my current hours low enough, and it wouldn't leave me enough time to study, attend hospital, follow care plans etc.

It's either work, or study.

Thank you, I did consider this. I don't want to try working and studying together right now, but not writing it off for the future when I've engaged with therapy and improved my health a bit more. Although of course no idea if I'll ever be good enough for that.