Photos of people on life support or dead when trying to run a race is too much

[ThatLemonFox]

Hope I don't sound like a complete bitch, I have ran at least 1 charity run a year for the last 20 years, I'm not a natural runner, a bit big, but am always pleased with myself at the end of it especially if I manage to raise funds for a worthy charity.
However I hate running behind someone who has a pic of someone with tubes coming out of them or a picture of someone who died or look like they are just about to.
I know the runner might be going through some horrible stuff (although with some runs it's just that the charity route was the only way in).
But, are these images really necessary?

For some of us the only photos we have of our loved ones are the ones you consider unnecessary.

If seeing images of people who are unwell upsets you so much then maybe charity runs aren't for you.

I don't love it when running behind someone in very short shorts etc, but it's not hard to put your gaze elsewhere.

I've raised over £100,000 for charity, was hoping to continue that as I get older. I am genuinely sorry about your loss, but is it really necessary to have these awful pictures on someone's t shirt? We have all (probably) been through grief and it's horrendous, but when you are trying to run, out of breath, not quite knowing what's ahead of you; do we really need this?!
Have you raised anything? If so, thanks for your opinion x

You're genuinely sorry for the loss of my child, but then go on to describe the only pictures I have of her as awful?

Maybe work on your abhorrent attitude before doing more charity work.

I posted a photo of my premature newborn twins with tubes attached on fb when born and got criticised. They’re now 13 and healthy but those were their newborn pics, the reality. Honestly, I have zero regrets and ghosted the mum who commented. Her not liking my picture really isn’t my problem.

Why do they have to be necessary in order for people to choose to run with them?

This thread isn't necessary but still you chose to start it.

If it bothers you that much, stop runnig.

The charities won't grind to a halt without you.

You do.

If it's a loved one, then the runner probably gains strength and comfort from having the photo on their person.

I think it's up to the runner if they want to do that, but I personally find it hard to look at that sort of thing so I would probably choose to move somewhere where I couldn't see it if possible. I can't look at any images of certain medical things on social media or read about it in the news, or watch it in a TV show or listen to it on the radio, I have to turn it off.
That's not to say I don't care about it, I do, but for my own personal reasons (that I don't want to talk about) it makes me too anxious and I don't want my mind to go there.

It's performative for some people. They could choose a nicer photo - I doubt very much people don't have any other photo to use than the ones you describe - but they deliberately go for the gruesome one for sympathy / attention. And in a charity run, perhaps some are doing it in an attempt to pull at heartsrings to get more donations?

Don't stop your fundraising because of this, it is usually possible to move away from people like this and get away from them, unless it';s right at the start of a big crowd like the Great North Run or London marathon.

I am genuinely sorry for your loss and cannot imagine what you have been through.

I do not think the photos of your daughter are awful.

I was just making the point it's very difficult for people to have these images forced on them when they are trying to do something good.

I am genuinely sorry about your loss, but is it really necessary to have these awful pictures on someone's t shirt?

So, yes, you did call the photos awful, she was on a ventilator for her whole life and had many wires and tubes attached, and if I chose to put her image on a tshirt or anything else then I couldn't give a fuck if her photo offended you.

You're not forced to look at photos of someone's loved one. Just move.

I was just making the point it's very difficult for people to have these images forced on them when they are trying to do something good.

Thoughts and prayers during your time of difficulty 🙄

If you can't stand looking at the people you're raising money for, then stop doing it.

Choose something else to focus your eyes on when you're running. People are displaying photos that mean something to them, to why they're running.

You sound bloody awful.

I run and have raised a fair bit for charity. I don't have photos on my top but really don't mind who does.

I wouldn't want someone running round with a picture of me in that condition splashed across their tshirt so YANBU OP.

I was on a professional networking site and someone posted a picture of their son who was tragically stillborn.

I had a panic attack and ended up crying. My son was stillborn 9 years ago and I have to really steel myself to look at his photos (I've only got two).

I was torn between empathy for the poster and fury that the photo was there with no option or advance warning to avoid looking at it. I hate the word triggering... but it really was.

I don't blame you OP.

This is what I came to post. Surely the people on the t-shirts are the point of the whole thing.

It's possible to simultaneously have raised a lot of money for charity, and to be quite insensitive.

Its difficult. I personally as an adult would hate any of my family or friends putting a picture of me in that state on a t shirt and I dont know anyone that would be ok with me doing it to them, in my life. Pictures of me /them well would be preferred.However for babies/kids born with health issues thats very often the only pics parents have and quite rightly parents will want to share their pics, so its not a clear cut thing. It is hard to look at those images for a lot of people though, that doesnt make you a bad person for feeling that way.

I can see in a way but don't think people should be ashamed of their loved ones illnesses.

For a lot of people, it encourages more donations for the cause. People stop and talk, look them up, donate, it's all based on your personal story = more donations.

Instead of feeling horrified and disgusted could you reframe it as 'bearing witness'? It is something we all do in life and it drives powerful change.

Sorry op you didn’t make clear that you only wanted to hear the opinions of people who have raised money and to have a stealth boast about your efforts (which are admittedly fantastic!)

You remind me of Smashey and Nicey

Just overtake them then you dont have to look.

Yes but not as important as our charity hero OP.