This is such a sensitive issue and I can see it from both sides.
After watching both my parents and grandparents die and several miscarriages (one late) I have witnessed a lot of death.
I feel the same as a pp who finds it upsetting and triggering, but I also understand the feeling of wanting people to be aware of conditions (especially rare ones like one family member had) and any money raised for charity is always a good thing.
I also understand the feeling of unity when lots of people run together for charity, it’s a special place of understanding and where those pictures are properly SEEN and others can identify with experiences that a lot of people haven’t faced.
I spoke to my mum before she died about putting her face on a t shirt. She said she was happy with that and loved the idea of raising money but she wanted a picture where she was alive and vibrant and herself, a picture where people might think “she looks fun” or kind or whatever else you can see in the photograph of someone in a moment where they were living and not on the cusp of death or actually dead.
I would feel the same way if I was dying as I’m sure many others would, some people I can imagine would be happy to share any image as long as it builds awareness for a good cause.
Look at the vote on this, it’s split pretty equally (or was when I posted) there are no right or wrong answers as everyone has different experiences and trauma and some find it comforting and some find it triggering.
My sister didn’t listen to my mum, she posted photos on her Facebook of my mum in hospital (rare condition) put pictures on t shirts and made Tik Tok videos for “awareness”.
I don’t use any social media except mumsnet but a friend showed me the TikToks and I was so angry and it felt so disrespectful.
My sister has raised money for charity but using images that would have upset my mum and compromised her dignity. I feel the money raised and awareness of the cause is fantastic but it also seems incredibly disrespectful and virtue signalling.
I wish people on this thread would stop arguing and understand this high emotion is coming from a place of hurt from all sides, it sounds like OP has faced bereavement herself so it’s unfair to lash out because you don’t like her opinion. It’s fine to disagree with it but she’s not saying the pictures of people dead and dying are offending her, she’s actually saying they are upsetting her. I think people should see that as compassion and not coming from a place of censorship.
People who have lost babies and children young who don’t have photographs of them growing older to celebrate their lived lives still want their child recognised and a kind of proof they existed (I hope that doesn’t sound insensitive? It’s coming from personal experience) if it’s all you have then that’s all you can share.
I wish there was more understanding on both sides, personally I can’t look at the pictures of seriously ill, dead or dying people as I find it too traumatic. The pictures of healthy people smiling into a camera or being vibrant and alive make me equally as sad but it’s easier to face, it makes me curious about them and sad for the person honouring them and I always think how amazing it is that people touch and influence our lives even after they are gone.
I don’t think this thread was at all intended to be offensive and I find it sad that others question OP’s motives.
One final thought… wouldn’t it be nice for separate charity fundraisers and races for people who have lost children and babies? I’m not sure if there are but it sounds like something where people with shared experiences could raise money but also support each other and every single person would know just how the person with their picture on the t shirt is feeling and even when exhaustion hits that’s why they are running.
It would feel more like a crowd running together than an actual race.