Photos of people on life support or dead when trying to run a race is too much

[ThatLemonFox]

Hope I don't sound like a complete bitch, I have ran at least 1 charity run a year for the last 20 years, I'm not a natural runner, a bit big, but am always pleased with myself at the end of it especially if I manage to raise funds for a worthy charity.
However I hate running behind someone who has a pic of someone with tubes coming out of them or a picture of someone who died or look like they are just about to.
I know the runner might be going through some horrible stuff (although with some runs it's just that the charity route was the only way in).
But, are these images really necessary?

Congratulations on the funds you’ve raised.

I understand what you’re saying, some images are very confronting. My child has retinoblastoma - a rare cancer of the eyes - and the images of tumours emerging from the eyes, and post-treatment empty eye sockets, takes a lot to get used to.

But this is what it is. Use your discomfort to raise more for research and better outcomes. Please don’t ask/expect people to hide people in their lives who are displaying amazing resilience.

'Hope I don't sound like a complete bitch'
That is exactly what you sound like.

I think YABU .People who have lost someone in difficult circumstances need to share their loss.i am grateful to you for your sterling efforts. However without being rude its not all about you! I am immensely grateful to 2 ladies Laura and Miranda. Who between them raised 50k for ovarian cancer reasearch. In remission at the moment. 6 rounds of chemo and a hysterectomy for me.my friend has chemo resistant cancer .the ame treatment hasn't worked. Needing new drugs now.these are the people we should be concerned about!

Nor me. I agree with the op.

And some of these posts are ridiculously abusive. It’s an opinion about t shirts, not people’s actual relatives.

Use it as motivation to run faster.

Death isn't pretty. It's not like the films

Well OP if you have a disfiguring accident would it be ok for me to say you can't ever share photos of yourself after that accident for the rest of your life because it might upset my delicate sensibilities? At what stage in life are people allowed to be visible in public in your view? Complete health only?

It's photos of people's actual relatives op is talking about.

I run a lot and it wouldn’t bother me. People are doing it to honour/remember a loved one and to raise awareness for a cause or charity.

Why do you find it so hard to look at pictures of people who are obviously suffering from serious medical problems OP?

Have a think about why you find it hard.

These are the sorts of thoughts you can't say out loud, OP. Because they're extremely hurtful to some people. Way, way WAY more hurtful than the sight of these photos are to you. You need to count your blessings, not complain about having this minor distress in your life.

I’ve reported some of the posters on here, really unnecessary personal attacks! I think a lot of people find photos of people suffering to be triggering, I think it’s probably to do with our own fears around mortality. We also perhaps have ideas around dignity that maybe don’t align with others views on owning and claiming the reality of an illness and raising awareness about it. Perhaps if you run with photos like this you could help OP understand your personal reasons for choosing photos like that when running? You know, build understanding instead of attacking someone.

The OP said 'Hope I don't sound like a complete bitch'. Some of us are letting her know that yes in fact she does. Not sure who appointed you her protecter.

Which is more performative? The person with an actual stake in the charity or the person who “raises” the money by begging for sponsors? Incidentally how is “I raised 100,000 pounds not performative?

I can see that photos like that raise awareness of the illness and the charity. But I don’t see the point of them being on the runners’ tops. They will only be seen by the other runners. So preaching to the converted really. It might not cost much to get the shirts printed, but even so wouldn’t that money be more effective in the charity’s coffers

I think you have to imagine that what the person (runner) is going through is beyond most comprehension & they need to do what they’re doing to cope with it. When you think about running itself as a sport they’re literally running from the pain as a coping mechanism . Why do you run Op?

Maybe they wear it for their on motivation or for their family and friends that come along to support them. The money argument is ridiculous. It costs a few pounds to print a tshirt. Are you inspecting everyone's clothes and shoes to make sure they have purchased the cheapest possible and given the rest of money to charity.

I’d be very surprised if someone who’s loved one had been that ill needed a photo to remind them why they were running. If they did it wouldn’t be much use on their back and if they kept looking at a photo on their front they would probably fall over. Their supporters, if they needed to see the photo, would have to run along the route to keep it in view.

I assume that nonsense about me inspecting people’s clothes is that tiresome thing some people do when they are confronted with an opinion that is different to theirs. If you need to twist words and exaggerate your own opinion is probably quite weak

I have the pictures of my full term still born son and his twin brother who died aged 3 days old. One of my babies is deceased in a picture and my second baby has NICU tubes in those photos. They both died that week and those photos are all I have. No one has ever complained. In fact most people are very kind afterwards and it encourages me to keep going. I won't apologise if this bothers some people. They were my sons and I love and miss them.

So sorry for your losses. Please keep sharing your beautiful boys and don't ever feel put off by posts like this. Death is scary but it's a part of life and it's so so cruel when innocent little babies are taken too soon. I hope you are doing okay, keep going for them 🩵🩵

I am thank you. I've since had their baby sibling and she'll be joining us on athe annual memorial walk fundraiser in The autumn in her buggy and we'll be holding their pictures with us alongside many other bereaved parents. Thanks for your kind words.

Jesus Christ OP. If it's for charity then I'm assuming these people are the reason for the charity, it should inspire you not put you off. Fair enough though if the pictures are of an actual deceased person, that's quite upsetting and slightly gruesome.

To be fair, it's also about respect for the person. I don't think many would like images of themselves publicised like that. People say that people posting these kinds of images on FB or similar are performative, I don't think it's quite the same on a charity run as I would hope the purpose of such an image is to inspire or motivate, but it's possibly a fine line. I actually find a picture of someone healthy just as inspiring and probably more sad.

I'm guessing the people running know the wishes of the people in the images best. One of my favourite photos of a now deceased family member is him on life support and he had no issues with it being shared (he was active in raising awareness himself and shared it both socially and with local media). He didn't want that period of his life hidden away, and well there is a look in his eyes that just sums up his personality.

I remember posting a pic of my 5lb new born with NG tube taped to his face
two of my “ friends” text to say how upsetting they found it
Dear God….