To be annoyed that I’m being blamed for this?!

[AngelaSnerkel]

We (DH, toddler and I) went to a wedding with my mother last month. She drove to us, briefly came in for a cup of tea, and then we all went in our car.

Weeks later, she’s asked us to look for a set of keys she allegedly left on our hallway table. It’s keys to my grandparents’ house and she said she took them from her car and put them there for safekeeping.

The keys aren’t there and DH and I haven’t seen them. DM is now “very disappointed” in me for losing her keys and is going to draw me a diagram of the keys and where she left them so I can find them, and keeps messaging me to ask that I “look again properly.”

AIBU to think this is insanity?

The only other thing I can think of is would anyone else have come into your house while you were out? Neighbour? Friend? Cleaner? Gardner? And taken the keys ir knocked them off the table and maybe kicked them some distance without realising?

My dad ‘blamed’ me for losing his glasses. He left them on our sofa apparently he remembered exactly where on the sofa and he really needed them back. I tore the place apart, they never appeared. He found them 6mths later in the shed. HIS shed

YANBU and your mum is mad , however it might just be easier to borrow your grandparents keys and get a new set cut just to shut this down

Would you really say that though? Honestly? People are always advising direct confrontation on MN but in my experience that path always makes the situation worse and everyone falls out.

Don’t be too categoric. Just in case….

Check the photos to see what bag she had, and advise her to check it for the keys.

Please return to this thread with the diagram, OP.

😂

Good point. Or maybe a different jacket.

could they have fallen down the back if the table is against the wall? or fallen and landed inside a shoe?

Yep. I would take another look anywhere she’s been in your house and in your car, then tell her to check her car etc too. Maybe they’ll turn up, but they are her responsibility not yours!

😆

Kids love keys maybe the child has moved them

I love this.

Is she on a device that could facetime or video call of some sort? Obviously, you haven't lost them and it's not your responsibility but it might help to show her. If she's nearby she could pop in and look for herself.

Can she come back to your house and look for them? Would you mind if she did? (I think I would find it intrusive.) It seems odd to leave them in your house rather than in her car, glove box or similar.

Came on to say this!
She's clearly lost them somewhere else and is shifting the guilt onto you.

Why would she wait weeks to ask about them? & why would she leave them there and not tell you? Shes clearly lost them & shifting the blame onto you.

She's lost the keys and wants to blame you for some reason.

She's barmy. If she'd really left them where she said, she'd have told you at the time, surely? At the very least you'd have noticed them.

That's very annoying of her.

DD1 once hid keys I'd set down for five minutes when she was 18 months old, then of course had no idea where she had put them when asked. I found them a few weeks later in a kitchen cupboard.

Hilarious 😂

My mil does this alot. Have you checked she's not put them in the car she went in with you. My mil has a big habit of putting her keys in the pockets on the car doors and forgets them. To the extent she's been dropped off somewhere and have to drive back to give her keys.

Well the fact that she finds you "disappointing" because you haven't found the keys is a concern. Most folks would not react in that way. Does she usually react like that?

Tell your Mum the keys must have been sad that she left them and gone to look for her. Seriously, she’s lost them 🤣.

"she said she took them from her car and put them there for safekeeping."

'Really, mum? Without telling me that that was what you were doing? They're not there and I frankly don't believe they ever were! Stop blaming me for YOU losing keys, and start looking elsewhere - like where you ACTUALLY left them.'

She'd be getting very short shrift from me. She needs to start looking for the keys herself, or they will forever be lost where she left them.