To think there are very few nice people here on Mumsnet anymore?

[NaiceSnail]

I’ve been on here for a while and recently, it feels like the vibe has really changed. So many posts seem to get turned into arguments or people are just downright rude to others. I get that Mumsnet is a place for strong opinions but it’s starting to feel like kindness and constructive conversation are in short supply. Maybe it’s just me but are there actually still genuinely nice people around here or has it become more of a space for venting and putting others down?

AIBU to long for a bit more positivity and civility around here?

I agree and I think its because the user-base grew massively following penis-beaker.

Now, it reflects society generally, so you dont get the reasoned, thoughtful, insightful responses you would have received say 15 or twenty years ago. Now, the responses feel more like those you'd receive on Facebook.

Are you one of the mean girls?

I've been here 15 years. I agree with op.

Is it generational?

How old are you if you agree with @NaiceSnail ?

I'm fifty one.

If you have given a snarky reply, how old are you?

Fair enough.

There is less humour than there used to be.

Interesting
I think if you do make the point that these threads are a regular occurrence it's perhaps difficult to do so without people taking offence.

There are too many Pick Me women on this site who are competing to see who can be the most contrary.

It has become come trying and predictable.

Naturally people assume, that posters on MN are all women, l just don’t believe that, because obvs anyone can comment and do, the person you’re referring to could have easily been a man.
I’m new to MN, from what l’ve seen, do think, it can get really nasty.Sadly there are people posting to stir up hatred, push their agenda.It’s off putting.

Also find that you think so interesting.

One is a simple statement of fact. The other is a sort of written eye roll or could be taken that way. But perhaps Ilovesooty didn't mean it that way in this case.

But we are probably getting a bit off topic.

I think it's too easy to jump to conclusions based on words on a screen.

I found the ‘here we go’ comment unnecessarily snide too. Of course it’s not a huge deal, and it’s hardly the nastiest thing anyone has said here! But there was an unpleasant edge to your dig, and I thought why bother saying that? Maybe the OP hadn’t seen a thread like this before. Comments like that contribute to the tone of a forum. I am sure you don’t care, but I do agree with the other poster.

Not to pile on but I think that for every poster who finds the "here we go" unpleasant, there will another poster who will find the need to call someone out for a perfectly appropriate response unpleasant. People will find the initial "here we go" to be unpleasant and others will find having to constantly bite their tongue and re-read every comment for any possible way it could be offensive to be unpleasant. Some posters find it unpleasant when people take issue with comments they could've ignored while other posters find it unpleasant when everyone ignores comments they feel should've been called out.

People can will find complete polar opposite behaviours to be unpleasant.

Like I said in my earlier post, some people find it unpleasant when the OP lies and others find it unpleasant when people call the OP out for lying. Someone will always think someone is being mean.

If I didn't care I wouldn't have asked what I should have said instead.

No but looks like you could be one 😆.

It’s always been like this on AIBU threads but plenty of other topics have lovely supportive posters.

So YABU. 😂

@vodkaredbullgirl nope. Not me. I was asking because you find it "😆" that people find people are horrible for some reason?

Well, let's face it, well rounded, happy, sociable people aren't going to spending their time scrolling night after night are they? SM attracts the people with the time on their hands, usually because they've got little else going on on their life and the bitterness and rot set it.

I see it in myself. When I'm in a good mood and have shit going on I'm not here. When my MH is low and I'm lonely I am and generally a snarky bitch.

I’ve made quite a few RL friends via MN. Although it probably doesn’t happen as often as in the early days.

That’s amazing! I feel invisible on here so can’t even imagine how RL friendships would happen 😄

There is definitely something in this, I think.

I always try to be nice , but aibu can be a bit abrasive and people quick to judge.
Some threads can turn into a bit of a ‘ bun fight ‘ too.

Yes I agree. I find myself often agreeing with the op while the majority of people responding (unjustly) lay into them.

I think it reflects how stressful life has become in a boiling frog way.
Things are difficult for a lot of people, and stressed people, being pushed to their limits, snap easily, especially when anonymous on the internet.

Well, I’ve known most of them for 7 years or longer - though I met a couple of fellow-cat lovers just a week or two ago.

It came from being on boards focused round shared interests & gradually getting to know each other.

There are definitely a lot of people who are just generally nasty and nit-picky, but sometimes the problem is that people are too sensitive to criticism, no matter how constructive, and unreasonably claim they are being bullied. I judge each case individually and I don't let the nasties get to me. I usually just stop responding to them. Some of them are quite spectacularly horrible, but I find it entertaining to watch as they often get a good hiding from other posters.

Unfortunately, as in society, there are always some who just want to antagonise and be unpleasant.

We can see those comments, someone itching for a fight, so just pass on by and not give them the satisfaction 😉

So pathetic and very sad 😔