AIBU to advise my daughter that she'd be daft to not put her name on house deeds?

[User197634]

My DD (20) is planning on buying a house with her bf of 2 years. He has been given a lump sum buy his parents to put down on a house, and my DD mentioned that it would only be his name on the deeds, even though she'll be sharing the bills.

I've advised her that, yes by all means her bf should have a contract drawn up to protect the money he's putting in should they split, but I still believe she should insist that her name goes on the deeds too.

I think she thinks that I'm over thinking things, but I want her protected too. Any advice appreciated

Agree that unless she’s paying the mortgage, she shouldn’t be on the deeds.

Another consideration is if they split in a year, and she later wants to buy, would she have lost her first time buyer status? I know there were advantages to this a few years ago unless its changed.

She’s only 20 this is a huge contract between two people so young. I would tell her that she needs to talk to her boyfriend and discuss the option of after X amount of years if they’re still together, she is then put on the deeds and something is written up to protect her boyfriends deposit.

Yes, sorry, I don’t necessarily mean market value rent.

I just mean an amount they agree together that is fair that covers her half of bills and yes, potentially some money towards the house because she would be paying rent elsewhere ?

There must be some middle ground between him effectively saying “do you want to come and live with me in my house” and jointly buying a house together via a mortgage you’ve taken out together? Either of these options are fine to of course.

Doesn’t a lodger pay “rent” beyond just bills?

@User197634 would strongly suggest that

She should really look at a declaration of trust, especially if, financially, everything will be 50:50 going forward.

That was beautifully written.

I can live with your approbation.

But look at the positives - you've learnt something this morning 😃.

Absolutely this.

I'm surprised there's so many replies already!

To clarify, my DD WILL be paying half the mortgage and the bills, and for the upkeep of the house
I wouldn't expect her to go on the deeds if she was only paying a few bills, she'll be sharing everything equally.

Her bf has been given £60,000 towards the house, which, as I've said, I expect that he should have his money protected. I'm not trying to do him over on my DD's behalf!

is your DD on the mortgage?

She absolutely should not be paying half the mortgage!!

That's what you should be advising against IMO.

If he can't afford it on his own he shouldn't really have bought a house.

To clarify, my DD WILL be paying half the mortgage

So, can you clarify-us the mortgage in both their names? Is the mortgage company aware she will be paying half of the monthly mortgage payments? Is the amount they have borrowed based on both their salaries?

Assuming that not only is she paying half the mortgage but is also in the application then she should absolutely be on the deeds. The deposit just needs to be ring fenced

I assumed the same, that bills included her share of the mortgage and so yes she should be on the deeds (with his lump sum ring fenced).
@User197634 can you clarify if she will be contributing to the mortgage or not.
If not, surely she is just living rent free (she would pays bills wherever) and so could save that money every month instead of being on the deeds.

If she’s paying half the mortgage she should be on the deeds. Otherwise she should save what she would have paid towards the mortgage for a deposit on her own place. And pay half bills obviously.
Are they ‘buying it together’ or is he buying a house so she has no say/involvement he covers decorating/furnishings etc and she’s just sharing a bed.
They havent been together long and she is young do you want her committing to a mortgage?
Right now it’s sensible to not commit to each other but down the line if they have children she would be very vulnerable.

OP, I had a "boyfriend" when 22, my parents bought me an apartment (another country).
I would never think once to bestow any share on that flat to him.
Mind you, he lived there for about a fortnight, then I decided I wanted my own space 😂
That was 25 years ago.

She shouldn't move in at all, she should live separately to the bf & see how long the relationship lasts. If he objects to this suggestion then it's obvious that he just wants her to fund his forever home. She won't benefit at all and it's not in her interest to move in with a bf so young.

We should be teaching our kids, especially our dd's, independence without being codependent on partners. Cohabitation without the legal protection of marriage can turn out to be another gilded cage to trap vulnerable people.

Honestly at this young age and with the facts you’ve now updated I would advise my DC to have a lodger agreement drawn up for the GF and make sure she has her own room. He can get her evicted anytime he wants otherwise.

I understand protecting capital but your DD is powerless with no rights if she agrees to this arrangement.

Ok well if they've decided to buy this house together then that's a very different story and yes, they absolutely need to get a legal agreement written up and her interests need to be protected.

As, cross post. Then yes, she should be on the deeds, or they find another way to work this. Paying half the mortgage but having on claim on the house is not OK.

Well you need to be clear with her that if she is not on the deeds then she is not buying a house. She is renting speace from her boyfriend.

You said they are buying the house together, so I assume that a joint mortgage?
If shes on the mortgage she's on the deeds - end of.
If he(and probably applies more to his parents) want to protect their deposit, which I can understand and is totally reasonable as they are very young and not married , then a separate and fair legal agreement should be drawn up by solicitors.
But being on the mortgage and not on the deeds is a red flag, and I'm surprised the mortgage company would allow this.
If they go on to have kids, stay together long term then the precedent has been set she has no rights to the house and possibly he could resist any change to status quo, so she needs to proceed with caution.
Could her BF afford the mortgage and running costs on his own or is he relying on her contribution?

Is it a joint mortgage? If not, then what she’s paying is rent. If it is, then the house should be owned as tenants in common rather than joint tenants, reflecting the % each person has contributed to the deposit. How much HAS she contributed?

Is she essentially paying him rent when you say she's paying half the mortgage or is she part of a joint mortgage application?

Your post is not that clear there is nothing wrong with buying a house after a 2 year relationship but your daughter doesn’t sound like see understands the commitment. If she is jointly buying with the boyfriend with a joint mortgage purchase the deeds would be in both names, with or without a deed of trust to ring fence his deposit to the purchase. A deed of trust is an entirely sensible approach with unmarried partners. If they get married later she has stronger rights.

if the boyfriend wants to buy on his own the difficulty is what level of contribution is he expecting from your daughter if she starts living there? If she pays towards his mortgage then you have a complication of your daughter gaining a beneficial interest in the house. She needs to be either a owner or a official tenant of the boyfriend.

Then they should buy as tenants in common not as joint owners if she's paying half the mortgage. Each tenant has their own share in the property and they're both on the deeds. Get some legal advice before the bf & his family con your dd of £££. This is a scam that they've dressed up as a love nest for 2 young lovebirds.

I don’t think you can be on a mortgage without having a share in the house. So I presumed she is just paying the BF and mortgage is in his name only.