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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to advise my daughter that she'd be daft to not put her name on house deeds?

544 replies

User197634 · 26/07/2025 08:54

My DD (20) is planning on buying a house with her bf of 2 years. He has been given a lump sum buy his parents to put down on a house, and my DD mentioned that it would only be his name on the deeds, even though she'll be sharing the bills.

I've advised her that, yes by all means her bf should have a contract drawn up to protect the money he's putting in should they split, but I still believe she should insist that her name goes on the deeds too.

I think she thinks that I'm over thinking things, but I want her protected too. Any advice appreciated

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 26/07/2025 09:15

If her name isn't on the mortgage it shouldn't be on the deeds either in my opinion.

AmaryllisNightAndDay · 26/07/2025 09:15

They might look on her mortgage contribution as a kind of rent but then she has no tenant's rights.So if he expects her to pay rent to him or pay into the mortgage with no rights in return then it is better for her to keep her own place.

TizerorFizz · 26/07/2025 09:16

She’s basically his lodger. She’s no financial stake in the property. A lawyer can draw up a cohabiting agreement. The boyfriend should do this - or his parents. My DD owns a flat and she’s had 2 boyfriends move in - one moved out when relationship ended and second one just moved in. She’s a lawyer but the boyfriends have not paid the mortgage or funded the deposit (we did) so she’s the owner. In this case, the boyfriend is the owner. DD is cohabiting with no rights to the property. So get the agreement reflecting that.

MikeRafone · 26/07/2025 09:18

So her name would be on the mortgage? And not the deeds?

Isittimeformynapyet · 26/07/2025 09:19

Everyontheyseek · 26/07/2025 08:58

This. If it is being brought with his money only he buys in his name. If I was him I wouldn’t put her on the deeds. She saves and buys her own house.

Show quote history

Bought, love. The word you needed there was BOUGHT. The bf is not bringing a house.

I know, I know, I'm an arsehole, but if one person learns this today it will be worth it for me.

cremedelacraps · 26/07/2025 09:22

If it was my son or daughter I wouldn't want their 20 yr old partner on the deeds...

Obeseandashamed · 26/07/2025 09:22

Isittimeformynapyet · 26/07/2025 09:19

Bought, love. The word you needed there was BOUGHT. The bf is not bringing a house.

I know, I know, I'm an arsehole, but if one person learns this today it will be worth it for me.

Show quote history

🤣🤣🤣🤣 thank you for my morning chuckle @Isittimeformynapyet

BabyCatFace · 26/07/2025 09:23

Sharing the bills or sharing the mortgage?
She's too young to be buying a house jointly with a boyfriend and it doesn't sound like she's got money to invest in it so advise her to not pay towards the mortgage and save hard herself. She doesn't need to be on the deeds.

BabyCatFace · 26/07/2025 09:25

everythingthelighttouches · 26/07/2025 09:03

Be careful.

She’s only 20.

How long have they lived together so far?

It is more than a financial decision to put your name on the deeds. She is also committing herself further to her boyfriend.

In theory she and he could sell the house but in practice it makes splitting up harder.

I did this myself at 22 (under the advice of my mother) and it really did put me in the mindset of “well this is it then”.

I would make sure they set up sort of tenancy agreement, where she is paying what a tenant would to rent. I would also make sure she is making her own savings and pension contributions.

They can do this with a mind to reviewing it in a year or two when they’ve spent more time together as a couple.

Edited

Why should she pay him rent? They need to keep their finances separate. That means he pays his own mortgage.

Shallwedance2000 · 26/07/2025 09:25

She is paying rent and bills. Can she get a loan to match his deposit then go on the deeds?

Harassedmum123 · 26/07/2025 09:25

If your dd paying half towards the mortgage? If so I would agree to being on the deeds (but with the boyfriends lump sum being protected) but if she is only paying half the bills and nothing towards the mortgage then I would say she is getting a good deal as she would be paying much more than that if she was renting.

saraclara · 26/07/2025 09:26

If her name is on the mortgage and she's paying towards it, then her name should go on the deeds. They just need to organise a deed of trust to protect the boyfriend's deposit.

If only the boyfriend has applied for the mortgage and only he is paying the mortgage from his own income, then no, she doesn't go on the deeds.

Spotthering · 26/07/2025 09:27

doodleschnoodle · 26/07/2025 09:10

She’s not buying a house with her bf, he is buying a house and she is going to live there.

This. They’ve only been together two years since they were 18 and he’s the one buying a house. If I was his family, I would advise him not to put her name on it.

Plantladylover · 26/07/2025 09:27

If it were my son buying the house I would be advising him NO WAY should he be putting his gf on the deeds.

They are so young. Why do you want her to be on the deeds. she isn't contributing to the purchase, they have no children, He is buying a house. she's just living there.

AirborneElephant · 26/07/2025 09:28

I don’t really get the OPs view about this. He should not put her on the deeds, that would be ridiculous and unfair to him. She should pay towards bills, and an amount of “rent” towards the mortgage equivalent to what she would otherwise be paying. That might be nothing i suppose if she would really otherwise live with you. All furniture, maintenance ect should be paid by him. I had that arrangement with my bf in my twenties, it never occurred to me I should own part of his house just because I was living with him.

RantzNotBantz · 26/07/2025 09:28

When you say ‘bills’ do you mean she is paying half the mortgage?

Can she afford half the mortgage? Will she be approved by the mortgage company to take responsibility for half the mortgage?

AnSolas · 26/07/2025 09:28

everythingthelighttouches · 26/07/2025 09:03

Be careful.

She’s only 20.

How long have they lived together so far?

It is more than a financial decision to put your name on the deeds. She is also committing herself further to her boyfriend.

In theory she and he could sell the house but in practice it makes splitting up harder.

I did this myself at 22 (under the advice of my mother) and it really did put me in the mindset of “well this is it then”.

I would make sure they set up sort of tenancy agreement, where she is paying what a tenant would to rent. I would also make sure she is making her own savings and pension contributions.

They can do this with a mind to reviewing it in a year or two when they’ve spent more time together as a couple.

Edited

If she is paying market value rent he is using her money to buy an asset she will never have a share in while the payment is reducing her ability to aquire a similar asset.

@User197634 you said
My DD (20) is planning on buying a house

How will the loan be organised as she can owe the money borrowed but not own the asset (house)??

She would be best advised to speak to a solicitor who can explain the risks involved in this and the possible solutions.

She is not married so has no contractual protection over a fair share of assets should the relationship break down.

Have they discussed how the loan and other financial outgoings would be serviced if he or she became ill and were unable to earn income?

She will be the one growing any babies and taking the direct financial hit during that period have they discussed that and what fair financing looks like?

Someone has to look after any babies or pay to have them looked after so have they discussed how that financial expenditure would be shared?

Everyontheyseek · 26/07/2025 09:29

Isittimeformynapyet · 26/07/2025 09:19

Bought, love. The word you needed there was BOUGHT. The bf is not bringing a house.

I know, I know, I'm an arsehole, but if one person learns this today it will be worth it for me.

Show quote history

Love! ? ! I’m sorry if my dyslexia offends you. But thanks for the belittling and offending someone you don’t know.

And yes you are an arsehole, everyone knows what I meant! You must have a sad life.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 26/07/2025 09:29

BabyCatFace · 26/07/2025 09:25

Why should she pay him rent? They need to keep their finances separate. That means he pays his own mortgage.

Show quote history

Why should she pay him rent ?

Ermm to live there .
If she wasn't living with him she'd be paying rent somewhere .

Unless the bills are equal to the the mortgage and she pays them all , in which case she was need a legal agreement anyway .
But by seperate finances do you mean they each pay their share of food/electrics etc and he stumps up the entire mortgage ?

howshouldibehave · 26/07/2025 09:29

even though she'll be sharing the bills.

How much is she putting towards the deposit?
How much is she paying towards the monthly mortgage?

If the answer is 'nothing' or virtually nothing, then of course her name shouldn't be anywhere near the mortgage or deeds. It sounds like he is buying a house that he'll let her live in and you are seeing pound signs on her behalf!

Ammina · 26/07/2025 09:30

It's your first sentence really. Is she buying the house with him or not? Are they splitting the bills, or is he paying the mortgage and she all the bills? Wil she be living rent/mortgage free or contributing to that?

They can buy together and ring fence his deposit, but she can't insist on that. It is young to do so and would get messy if they split. There is something to be said for him buying it and she essentially being a lodger. But I would be trying to make it official and explicit with a contract rather than them essentially pretending that it's her house too when it's not.

There needs to be some sort of equitable arrangement I think. If being on the deeds is not a goer then how else do they arrange it so she is not financially missing out? Eg she has lower rent and uses the difference to save for her own deposit. She shouldn't be spending all her money on rent or paying all their bills while he gets all the equity return because it's him paying the mortgage.

Spotthering · 26/07/2025 09:31

Isittimeformynapyet · 26/07/2025 09:19

Bought, love. The word you needed there was BOUGHT. The bf is not bringing a house.

I know, I know, I'm an arsehole, but if one person learns this today it will be worth it for me.

Show quote history

If only the laughing emoji was still here.

JustPinkFinch · 26/07/2025 09:31

Along with most others, I think it all depends if she's contributing to the mortgage. If she is, then really she should be on both the mortgage and the deeds.

The solicitor can draw up a deed (tenants in common?), which states that when they sell, the BF is due the first X amount from any sale, and the rest of the profits are split equally. This also gives a figure for one to buy the other out in the event of a split.

I did this with a boyfriend at a similar age as I put down a large deposit. When we separated I bought him out and removed him from the mortgage - it worked very well. And it meant he got something out of an asset in what was a very fast rising market.

I probably could have done it in the way some people are suggesting, kept it all in my name and fucked him over despite his contribution to the household. But it didn't seem very fair.

Everyontheyseek · 26/07/2025 09:32

Obeseandashamed · 26/07/2025 09:22

🤣🤣🤣🤣 thank you for my morning chuckle @Isittimeformynapyet

Show quote history

Lovely. I make a mistake with the one letter and the mean girls are out.

HoneyHoneyHowYouThrillMe · 26/07/2025 09:33

No, her name does not go on the deeds. Don't be silly.

And paying a share of the bills is perfectly right. However she should not be paying toward the mortgage.