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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to advise my daughter that she'd be daft to not put her name on house deeds?

544 replies

User197634 · 26/07/2025 08:54

My DD (20) is planning on buying a house with her bf of 2 years. He has been given a lump sum buy his parents to put down on a house, and my DD mentioned that it would only be his name on the deeds, even though she'll be sharing the bills.

I've advised her that, yes by all means her bf should have a contract drawn up to protect the money he's putting in should they split, but I still believe she should insist that her name goes on the deeds too.

I think she thinks that I'm over thinking things, but I want her protected too. Any advice appreciated

OP posts:
SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 27/07/2025 22:23

He obviously wants to get on the housing ladder asap. And who can blame him for that? Instead of paying extortionate rents fir massively overpriced flata

Could he afford the bills etc of the house if he was living by himself?

At the risk of sounding mean. Your DD could well be used as a housemate with benefits.

I always say this on this site. Get proper legal advice from a qualified Solicitor. Not Citizens Advice or Shelter. They are up to their necks dealing with evictions from what l can gather.

If she does go ahead with this she may need some kind of drawn up legal contract which they both sign and pay for.

🤞🌻📜

MrsPositivity1 · 27/07/2025 22:31

if her name is on the mortgage she will have to be on the deeds surely

SweatyBettyAgain · 27/07/2025 22:37

User197634 · 26/07/2025 08:54

My DD (20) is planning on buying a house with her bf of 2 years. He has been given a lump sum buy his parents to put down on a house, and my DD mentioned that it would only be his name on the deeds, even though she'll be sharing the bills.

I've advised her that, yes by all means her bf should have a contract drawn up to protect the money he's putting in should they split, but I still believe she should insist that her name goes on the deeds too.

I think she thinks that I'm over thinking things, but I want her protected too. Any advice appreciated

I don't understand why anyone would ever contribute to a mortgage and receive no hold over the house. A mortgage company wouldn't like that either ... If another adult is living in a mortgaged property, they have to sign a legal document declaring that they have no right to the property. So you DD either has to buy joint (bf protecting his 60k) or not contribute to the house at all and declare to her BFs mortgage company that she has no hold over the house, despite living there also.

Whippetlovely · 27/07/2025 22:39

I wouldn't be happy with this if it was my son. She's putting nothing down as a deposit. He's right not to put her on the deeds. She's living there and should pay an agreed sum of rent and bills. If they are still together in a few years and get married then I'm sure she will be put on the deeds less his 60k deposit that would be fair. Either that or she puts in a certain percent deposit and goes on as tenancy in common and gets a percentage of the house share.

BigDayForTheWomen · 27/07/2025 22:44

User197634 · 26/07/2025 08:54

My DD (20) is planning on buying a house with her bf of 2 years. He has been given a lump sum buy his parents to put down on a house, and my DD mentioned that it would only be his name on the deeds, even though she'll be sharing the bills.

I've advised her that, yes by all means her bf should have a contract drawn up to protect the money he's putting in should they split, but I still believe she should insist that her name goes on the deeds too.

I think she thinks that I'm over thinking things, but I want her protected too. Any advice appreciated

She can't insist on putting her name on the deeds. The two of them together would have to apply for a mortgage for which they would each be separately responsible. They are very young to make such a commitment, and could both lose money if they split up soon after making it.
An alternative is for DD to pay a reasonable amount of rent at the level a house-sharer or lodger would pay, not at the level of a couple buying or renting a home together, and share the running costs but not pay towards maintaining the house. It would be a good deal for her. If they are still together in 5 years time, they could look at her buying into the property or selling and buying a new one together.

Wingingit247 · 27/07/2025 22:48

User197634 · 26/07/2025 21:36

I do apologise, I've been out most of the day, is that ok with you?

I've written all I know already, DD and her BF are planning to buy a house in the very near future, and I was asking advice re the deeds. It seems that her name would go on the deeds if she applies for a joint mortgage, although a few posters have said this is not necessarily the case.

Show quote history

Mortgage advisor here, all mortgage lenders will insist on her name being on the deeds if it’s on the mortgage, all parties to the mortgage must be on the deeds and vice versa. Therefore, unless his income is high enough to service the entire mortgage alone, they will have to buy in joint names. All he needs is a Deed of Trust, ring fencing the original deposit, and they should take separate legal advice on whether it should be purchased as joint tenants or tenants in common.

Coastgirl22 · 27/07/2025 22:50

OP mentioned a joint mortgage I think? So let’s say the house is £120k (purely for demonstration purposes!) he’s putting down £60k deposit and a joint mortgage on the remaining £60k. she would be a 25% beneficiary on the tenants in common and the deed of trust would clarify his right to his initial investment

TheShyMumX · 27/07/2025 22:53

@User197634
me and my partner brought our house together when we were both early 20s and similarly he put down the deposit and I put down nothing however we applied for the mortgage jointly and are both on all deeds/paperwork etc
i don’t remember if what we had has a special name but basically it was a letter by our solicitor signed by us both that said when/if we sell he gets his £25,000 initial deposit back from the profit first and then whatever remains after that is to be split between us evenly

MellowTiger · 27/07/2025 22:54

Is it just me that thinks this is a great opportunity? It’s a good time to buy as house prices have come down, DD technically doesn’t have to save for a deposit because her Bf is covering that with his £60 so even if they split up down the line hopefully the increase in value will give her enough to buy another house. My son was young when he got on the housing ladder and has done much better than I did. At 20, with a 30 year mortgage, she’ll be mortgage free at 50!

Purpleturtle45 · 27/07/2025 23:01

I agree with everything you have said. If they are buying a house together and she is paying half the mortgage/bills then she needs to be on the mortgage documents and also the deeds. You are also correct that his £60k should be ringfenced. If he doesn't agree to that then they aren't ready to move in together.

Outside9 · 27/07/2025 23:06

Statistically the chances of the relationship surviving next few years are slim anyway.

So YABU to encourage such a commitment.

endofthelinefinally · 27/07/2025 23:08

Whippetlovely · 27/07/2025 22:39

I wouldn't be happy with this if it was my son. She's putting nothing down as a deposit. He's right not to put her on the deeds. She's living there and should pay an agreed sum of rent and bills. If they are still together in a few years and get married then I'm sure she will be put on the deeds less his 60k deposit that would be fair. Either that or she puts in a certain percent deposit and goes on as tenancy in common and gets a percentage of the house share.

So technically she would be a lodger. Which is perfectly fine as long as she understands that she has no rights and should not contribute to anything other than rent and reasonable bills. No improvements or maintenance, for example.

Icanttakethisanymore · 27/07/2025 23:08

It really depends on what their intentions are - are they ‘buying a house together’ (in this case she obviously need to be on the deeds with an agreed equity share to reflect their relative contribution) or just moving in together (into a house he will own). Either is fine but they need to be clear and obviously the former shows a greater level of commitment vs the latter.

DayswithDaisy8 · 27/07/2025 23:13

Hi there, hoping this helps. When I was 25, I bought a flat in London with a uni friend. My Dad gave me the deposit, we both paid the mortgage and bills. At the outset, we drew up a document, and signed it, saying that when we sold it, I would take the money for my Dad out before we split anything between us.
It actually ended up SO great - without me saying, she absolutely insisted that the deposit should receive the same increase that the rest of the investment did, so when we sold it a few years later, there was interest on the deposit.
Not every relationship is doomed. Not everyone is out to make money at your expense! Wishing the lovely young couple well x

DayswithDaisy8 · 27/07/2025 23:14

Sorry, I should have added - both on the deeds, but legal doc stating investment as regards deposit was mine only x

NotAMumLe11 · 27/07/2025 23:23

Why can’t there be more people bothered to care about this. It’s why the world is going to heck in a handcart

CautiousLurker01 · 28/07/2025 00:25

If your DD choses to go ahead with this on the basis of a shared mortgage, then her name would necessarily need to be on the deeds as a cnsequence of the shared contractual obligation to the mortgage lander.

However, this does not mean that she owns the house equally. Say DD and BF buy a house for 200k. He puts in 60k as a deposit, the remainder is then mortgaged (140k). DD would ‘own’ 70/200k (ie 35%) of the property; BF would own 65%. This is very standard and a good conveyancing solicitor would sort out the paperwork to make clear that she understands that she has no claim on the 30% BF owns outright and only on the shared 70% they would have mortgaged.

This does not ring-fence his 60K, it ring-fences the share in the property that the deposit purchased (ie the 30% this would have bought in the fictional scenario). This means that if they eventually split up and the house is, by then, worth 300K, he will get back 90K plus his half of the remainder. DD would have a half share in the remaining 210K (after the mortgage has been repaid).

Ilovelifeverymuch · 28/07/2025 01:21

User197634 · 26/07/2025 10:14

So you're basically saying that my DD should pay for half the mortgage and all the bills, (even though bf's money deposit would be protected), and have no say in anything ? Or be thrown out with nothing if they split?

What happens if the house they decide to buy doubles in value? Should she not be entitled to a fair share of the equity if she's been paying half of everything for a few years?

Show quote history

How is it different from if she was renting? What will happen if the house she is renting doubles in value?

The benefit for her is the share of the mortgage and bills she pays should be cheaper than if she was renting elsewhere.

Unfortunately he is the one buying a house not her, it's how deposit, deed in his name etc so she will be like a tenant paying rent. She also has the flexibility to walk away if the relationship doesn't work while he has an obligation to make sure the mortgage is paid on time or risk losing the house, she doesn't share that risk with him.

Either that or they commit to buying the house together and both get on the deer and contribute.

MsDDxx · 28/07/2025 01:48

Shallwedance2000 · 26/07/2025 09:25

She is paying rent and bills. Can she get a loan to match his deposit then go on the deeds?

Edited

You can’t get a loan to finance a deposit - it’s extra borrowing and the lender wouldn’t like it, not to mention we can’t expect credit funded deposits, stamp duty or general balances to complete on conveyancing transactions at my law firm.

Also, a loan of that size would have to be secured - on the house! Again; the lender wouldn’t like it as it affects their security.

Rhubarbandgooseburycrumble · 28/07/2025 06:19

OP they just need a Deeds of Trust written. I had this. My deposit was ring fenced. It was written so that my £35000 or 20% of the property would be returned to me, whichever was greater, and remaining 80% split between us. It’s very common to do this.

ParmaVioletTea · 28/07/2025 06:28

Will she be contributing towards mortgage payments and capital up keep of the property, or just contributing her half of the standard running costs such as utility bills?

if she’s not paying the mortgage then YABU.

MikeRafone · 28/07/2025 06:48

ParmaVioletTea · 28/07/2025 06:28

Will she be contributing towards mortgage payments and capital up keep of the property, or just contributing her half of the standard running costs such as utility bills?

if she’s not paying the mortgage then YABU.

they are looking at getting a joint mortgage, according to ops posts

MikeRafone · 28/07/2025 06:50

How is it different from if she was renting? What will happen if the house she is renting doubles in value?

because when you rent your name isn’t on the mortgage, iou can give notice and leave - you can’t do that with a mortgage and it would then prevent her buying

Original poster
User197634 · 28/07/2025 06:51

Outside9 · 27/07/2025 23:06

Statistically the chances of the relationship surviving next few years are slim anyway.

So YABU to encourage such a commitment.

Where did I write or give the impression that I was encouraging such a commitment?
I'll answer for you - I didn't.

I've said that I'd rather my DD and her bf get life experience first as they're young, but I can't stop them doing what they intend to do. Maybe they'll both decide against moving out for a while.
We can only try and guide and advise our children, but many of them are determined to forge their own path through life at a young age and there's nothing you can do to stop them.

You also don't need to tell me about how likely it is that they probably won't last, I'm quite aware of that.

OP posts:
Original poster
User197634 · 28/07/2025 06:55

ParmaVioletTea · 28/07/2025 06:28

Will she be contributing towards mortgage payments and capital up keep of the property, or just contributing her half of the standard running costs such as utility bills?

if she’s not paying the mortgage then YABU.

Why not read through my posts and you'll know what I've written? You don't need to read the whole thread.

With respect YABU for asking questions that I've given the answer to way back. Hth.

OP posts: