AIBU to advise my daughter that she'd be daft to not put her name on house deeds?

[User197634]

My DD (20) is planning on buying a house with her bf of 2 years. He has been given a lump sum buy his parents to put down on a house, and my DD mentioned that it would only be his name on the deeds, even though she'll be sharing the bills.

I've advised her that, yes by all means her bf should have a contract drawn up to protect the money he's putting in should they split, but I still believe she should insist that her name goes on the deeds too.

I think she thinks that I'm over thinking things, but I want her protected too. Any advice appreciated

You need to make sure your daughter is aware of tax implications of doing this. There are “first home” benefits for stamp duty (currently) and also for using LISA savings. If she share the mortgage or even on deeds she will be ineligible in future to these benefits as the shared mortgage could be classed as ownership (I don’t know rules precisely but please check these out). She would be better off being a lodger and making her own savings pot for future.

if she does persist in getting a joint mortgage then she could get a smaller share of equity. This can be done by a solicitor as a deed of trust. Typically if one person is on the deeds and two on the mortgage this is similar to a “guarantor” and the bank will want evidence she is happy with this arrangement via an independent legal office. She could get a 40% share say, if that £60k is 20% of a £300k property then they are effectively sharing 80% equally that is mortgaged. Then if they do split and the property is now worth say £400k then she would get half of £320k less the current mortgage - which if say paid down to £200k would give her £60k to walk away with to start again. Without any legal a she would get nothing.

To clarify, my DD WILL be paying half the mortgage and the bills, and for the upkeep of the house

Then she needs a proper legal agreement, drawn up by a solicitor, about who owns what. Otherwise they are not buying a house together, as pp have said he is buying a house and she is just living in it and paying towards it(!)

If the relationship survives (say) five more years and then ends, and they haven't made any formal legal arrangements for compensation, then she has no rights. All her five years of contribution to the mortgage and to the upkeep of the house are wiped out, and she will be entitled to nothing. If mortgage plus house upkeep adds up to less than market rent than OK she hasn't lost anything, but that's a calculation she will need to check regularly. And she will still need to save up for her own place as well as paying him rent or mortgage or whatever they choose to call it.

Actually I agree with pp that she is too young and their relationship is too new for them to be making legal and financial commitments together, but on the other hand moving into "his house" not "our house" shifts the balance of power. Moving into "his house" and paying his mortgage without a formal legal agreement is the worst of both worlds for her.

If they’ve got a joint mortgage that they are paying equally, then of course she should be on the deeds. However, boyfriend must ring fence his deposit which can be done by a solicitor. That way he doesn’t lose what he’s put in.

If he keeps her off the deeds then he can get a mortgage by himself and be responsible for that alone

I strongly suspect, @GrumpyExpat, that the boyfriend may need DD's salary thrown in to get the mortgage he wants, and since he's very young and only got the inheritance because one of his own parents lost their parent, they may well be in his ear and feeling protective about "not letting some girlfriend get your house"

As mentioned, in the GF's position I'd be saying a very definite no, but if he can go ahead and buy on his own while they're living together there's nothing to stop her saving "her half of the mortgage" in her own name, to chip into the pot if they marry (and to give her something to fall back on if they don't)

It’s a moot point if they’re getting a joint mortgage - every major lender will insist all mortgagors are named on the title as registered owners (the ‘deeds’).
But yes, even if this were not the case, if your daughter is paying towards bills and mortgage, she absolutely should be co-owner. They should be tenants in common (so they can each will their share separately), which will require a deed of trust, in which his deposit can be ringfenced. If he has an issue with this, do not let her move in and contribute a penny. It’s a huge red flag.

Pointless asking the op anything as she does not answer any questions. Some of these posts are ridiculous if no one replies. OY.... WAKE UP.

She just needs to reference the monthly bank transfer to him with the house address as the reference and her contributions will protect her interest in the property (recently happened to a friend of mine, unmarried, not on mortgage or deeds but got equity share when they split up)

I do apologise, I've been out most of the day, is that ok with you?

I've written all I know already, DD and her BF are planning to buy a house in the very near future, and I was asking advice re the deeds. It seems that her name would go on the deeds if she applies for a joint mortgage, although a few posters have said this is not necessarily the case.

Thank you for everyone's helpful advice (some not so helpful as above) , I feel in a better position to advise my DD now. However, I'll definitely ensure she gets the proper legal advice and thinks more carefully about the huge impact taking a house on at her age could have.

Well that is what is going to happen. Yes it is wrong but it is what will happen if she doesn't go on the deeds. She has no protection. If she was renting, she would be paying the same and paying off her Landlords Mortgage.

It’s pretty standard for her name to go on the deeds, if the loan is in joint names. It CAN be circumvented, but she would need to agree to it, and I would strongly suggest she take independent legal advice if she was considering this option.

Utterly nuts for her not to have some kind of contract to protect her investment in the house if she's paying half the mortgage/working on improving the house etc etc etc.
This crap happens all the time - and it's insane how many people end up putting money into houses they have zero ownership interest in, and no way to get that money back if the relationship fails. She should be putting that money towards her own house! Not being used as a mortgage payment fund!
By all means he should have protection for the lump sum he's used to finance the house purchase, but if he's expecting her to pay off part of his mortgage each month she needs legal recourse to get that money back if the relationship goes south. She needs to speak to a lawyer.

Like I said then, a cheap area. You wouldn’t get anything for less than £300k around here.

But what is the relevance of this? OP says they're buying a house together, therefore they can obviously afford whatever they're looking at. They might not be on 25k each, they might be both newly qualified or newly qualifying professionals earning 30 or 40k for a first job, who knows. Or they might be on 20k each and be buying a property for 100k.

Why is it people come on threads like this and talk about property as if the area where they live is the ONLY place that matters regarding house prices. There are other places and other economic situations up and down the country you know!

Aren't you the one who told me I should take the thread down not far in as it was a waste of time?
Yet here you are pages later making more snide comments. Funny how you still continued to read through my 'waste of time' thread 🙄

Yes because thats what happens in a conversation, people talk and go off tangent or share other information, the thread is still up, so I'll comment and respond to people if I want to.

But really your communication in the OP was dire resulting in a lot of people wasting their time trying to give advice when the issue wasnt clear.

If they are having a joint mortgage then yes she should be on the deeds imo.

Obviously with papers drawn up to protect his lump sum.

People might well 'go off on a tangent' as you put it, or even unintentionally drip feed for example, but there's no need for your nasty comments.

If you consider my thread a waste of your precious time then there's numerous others you can read. No one's forced you to be on here, and you come across as a right misery.

Just flipping this on its head. I met my boyfriend at 17, we both saved and put down half a deposit on our house when I was 23. 10 years later we're happily married in said house with 3 kids. Whilst you have every right to be concerned, some relationships do last. Obviously £60k is a ridiculous amount of money but can your daughter put anything down as a deposit? She definitely needs to go on the deeds if she's going to pay half the mortgage and it would be really stupid if she doesn't do this.

I agree with you that some relationships last the distance. I'd prefer my DD to go out and experience life more whilst she's young, but ultimately all I want is for her to be happy, and will try and give her as much advice as I can in whatever she chooses to do.
DD isn't in the position to put down a large chunk of money too, but works full time in a secure job and intends to pay he share, whilst understanding that her BF needs to have his deposit protected.

I think you are highly oversensitive judging by that. I havent been 'nasty' and nothing I have posted indicates Im a 'right misery'. I have given, informative and accurate information so that other people know some facts about house buying and mortgage company expectations, replicated also by others on the thread.

Trust me I'm not oversensitive. I just don't appreciate posters like yourself making demands with comments like "take this thread down it's a waste of time" and then pointing out how 'dire' you think my OP was.

Of course you're entitled to your opinion, but there are other ways of saying that you disagree with something without the snarky comments. Now, do yourself a favour and stop wasting your time on my thread because you're actually wasting my time reading your up yourself posts.

I think you are and probably best you step away than continuing to argue. If a random no body on a thread, who you're never going to meet and is entirely insignificant to your life is perceived as 'making demands' of you due to a mundane post on an internet site, then its time to have a cuppa and calm down.

Most of my time is spent wasting my time so dont worry about that.

Commenting on Mumsnet is pretty much the definition of people wasting their time. The OP isn't obliged to act on other poster's advice and many OPs can't even be bothered return to the thread they started to provide updates or further information.

I'm not sure why you are being so rude and vitriolic toward's OP as though she owes you something for the time it has taken you to post your unhelpful comments.

No, Im saying the complete opposite, Ive been helpful, it may be helpful to other posters, OP posts in AIBU, hence people will comment about whether she is, not just in terms of the question but other things. She absolutely isnt obliged to do anything she doesnt want to and neither am I.

Im wondering about the definition of vitriolic. What vitriol have I displayed exactly?